How Not To Re-Raise Demonic Children
by Galfridus
Summary: A comprehensive guide by Meliodas, who has no clue what he's doing and desperately wants some help. Or: After the war, Merlin takes it on herself to be just about the most mischievous person in the history of the world. Add Estarossa and Zeldris to the mix, let simmer and watch the fireworks. Collaboration between writing addict and Galfridus, cover art by Tumblr's littlexesta.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Life has been hard enough with his brothers stuck in his beloved bar with his Sins, leaving Meliodas to try and navigate the gap of wariness between his blood family and the one he made for himself. He really didn't need Merlin stirring up trouble as well.

A/N: This story started because of a single mistranslated spoiler page for chapter 249 of NNT-you know the one (the one where Merlin was proclaimed to be the daughter of the Supreme Deity and the Demon King). I ranted about it in the tags of a tumblr post, dear Galfridus was similarly disgruntled, and we ended up chatting about the utter injustice and impossibility of this development. About halfway through the conversation, though, she mentioned how funny it would've been to see the three demon brothers and this apparently half-demon Merlin running around and causing havoc for their babysitter, to which I replied: "Come on, Meliodas would definitely be the babysitter." Which called up some utterly hilarious lines of thought, and then...

Well, things spiraled out from there, and this AU was formed. Basically, Zeldris and Estarossa have been exiled from the Demon Realm for Reasons Unknown to You, Meliodas-being the good (and guilty) big brother he is-offered them a place to stay with the wary consent of the Sins, and Merlin decided to mess with absolutely everyone by staying in her childish for longer than normal.

Please, on behalf of both myself (writing_addict) and Galfridus, enjoy. And leave us a goddamn book report in the comments because we love that sort of thing and crave your feedback!

A/N 2: Hello. Galfridus here. Bit self-indulgent having two author's notes but there you go. Just to say that writing_addict wrote this first chapter, with the odd word and sentence added by me. Please check out writing_addict's stories on Archive Of Our Own. They are amazing.

The cover art is by littlexesta on Tumblr. Please go check out more of their work for super cute pictures of the three demon brothers.

* * *

 **Chapter One: In Which Merlin Is Problematic (But When Is She Not?)**

 _Okay._

 _It's just my brothers and a girl who was blessed with our father's magic that none of us knew existed living in the same space as the Seven Deadly Sins and everyone is leaving me on my own with those three. It's fine. We're fine. It's all good._

It absolutely was not all good, but Meliodas was the last person who would ever admit that under _any_ circumstances. The first issue with this was that his younger brothers, who had fought against them since the first Holy War, were now living in the recently-remodeled Boar Hat with their not-so-long-ago mortal enemies, who still did not completely trust them. The second issue was that Merlin, ever since being revealed as his sort-of-adopted-power-wise-at-least sister, had been acting less like the calculating, charismatic Merlin he'd known for forever and more like the mischievous (if still brilliant and terrifying) child from three thousand years ago, even staying in her childlike form for most of the time that he saw her. The third was that Estarossa had returned to the smaller form that mirrored his, and that _literally no one_ was comfortable watching a smaller version of himself with silvery hair trotting around.

And the fourth was that the others expected him to-well, the most accurate word would be _babysit_ -those two plus Zeldris while Elizabeth was negotiating treaties with the Giants (escorted by Diane and King, who had officially been crowned the Giant Queen and Faerie King respectively). Ban and Elaine were off enjoying a festival (and they deserved to, after everything they'd been through; he was incredibly happy for them) and Escanor was busy closing down his bar so he could work at the Boar Hat full time. Gowther was doing… he honestly had no idea and he wasn't sure he wanted to know. And Hawk was on vacation, having spied a sow of questionable origin and gained permission from Hawk Mama to go court her-and Meliodas _definitely_ didn't want to know about that.

Which left him, and a bar, and two millennia-old demons that acted like children, led by a warlock who was too clever for his sanity to remain intact.

"Meliodas, you're extremely pale," Elizabeth remarked. He jerked his head up, meeting her eyes with a sheepish grin. She looked beautiful, as always, with her hair pulled back and a small diadem settled on her head. But it wasn't about how she looked both perfectly competent and exquisite, or the fact that her hair was a shimmering waterfall of pure moonlight in the glow of the Boar Hat's lanterns. She looked happy, as if she was in her element, born to complete the mission ahead of her. She was _complete._

 _All she ever wanted was to bring peace, and now she actually gets to negotiate with the Five Clans._ A small smile tugged at his mouth and he stood on his toes, kissing Elizabeth on the cheek. Ban and Elaine were already gone, Diane and King waiting for her just outside. "Don't come back until you have the first inter-clan peace treaty, okay."

Elizabeth laughed, the sound shining in the air like the peal of a bell. "What if I have two?"

"Then we're throwing a party and drinking until we all die of alcohol poisoning."

Her eyes twinkled. "A fitting way to die for us heroes, I suppose."

" _Obviously_." He crossed his arms and gave her a trademark grin, cocky and bright and full of a confidence that he wasn't sure he actually felt (he could feel three pairs of eyes, two black and one gold, boring into his back with barely-hidden malice). "Go on. You'll be late at this rate."

"I'll be back by tomorrow night at the latest." She winked, turning to stalk out the door. "Thought it'll be sooner, I suspect-they've never met a diplomat who's run a restaurant during a war."

Meliodas blinked at her and wondered how the hell, after everything they went through, he was still lucky enough that this woman loved him. "No, they certainly haven't," he agreed, walking around and kissing her again. "Don't worry. Everything will be fine."

"I trust you," she murmured, touching her forehead to his; he heard Estarossa retching behind his back and rolled his eyes, leaning into the touch, before stepping back and watching her go. _She's off to change the world and I..._

 _I am...beyond lucky._

The door closed, and he was alone with the three children-who-were-not-actually-children. With a sigh (he was going to die tonight, honestly), who were perched on the bar in a row like a flock of evil little birds who had Horrible Plans for him. Merlin smirked and kicked her feet back and forth, Zeldris rolled his eyes, and Estarossa merely looked mischievous. Business as usual then. "Don't you have to run the bar tonight?" Merlin inquired innocently.

 _Well, when you put it like that...I don't trust you whatsoever, but okay_. "Yeah," he agreed, narrowing his eyes warily at her. All three of them sat straighter, looking as innocent as it was possible for them to look-which wasn't very innocent at all. _Zeldris, I honestly thought better of you. What the fuck._ "So either help or keep out of the way, alright?"

"We're not _actually_ kids, you know," Zeldris huffed, hopping off of the bar. "Well, I have my doubts about Estarossa, but-"

" _Hey_!" Meliodas narrowly resisted the urge to bang his head against the wall as Estarossa followed his younger brother, Merlin snickering with an undoubtedly evil glee. "I'm not a child-"

"But you _are_ remarkably childish," Merlin argued, and yeah, that wall was going to have a lot of dents in it by the time the night was over. He shook his head with a snort and grabbed the broom from where it leaned against the bar, heading back out to the seating area to tidy up. _Please don't do anything crazy_ , he silently pleaded. His adopted younger sister glanced back as if she'd heard his thoughts, a gleam in those catlike golden eyes of hers, and he groaned under his breath as she followed the boys into the kitchen. _That is not the look of someone who isn't going to do anything crazy_.

Shoving his trepidation aside, he set to the (admittedly kind of daunting) task of cleaning up the tavern, sweeping the dust into little piles before burning it away with an ember of black fire. While Ban, surprisingly, kept his kitchen nearly spotless, the others were more inclined to create sprawling messes that were only cleaned up before opening time, and opening time was now just an hour or so away… and why the fuck had King let Oslo in here? The Black Hound had slobbered over _everything_. _Everything_. "Next time, King, you're cleaning up after him," he muttered, fetching a wet dishrag and scrubbing at it with a sigh. Still, he could feel a smile spreading over his face-he'd _missed_ this, missed running the tavern and providing people a place where they could sit and talk. It had been because of a need for information that he'd bought it in the first place, but he'd genuinely come to love it, to miss it when it was gone and be happy when it came back. It was something he'd never been able to do as a demon prince or even as a knight-to make something with his own two hands rather than tearing it down, to make people happy instead of angry or devastated, to provide safety and comfort instead of fear and uncertainty. The Boar Hat was kind of famous now too, which meant more customers and more time doing what he loved.

There was no noise from the kitchen, so he figured everything was fine and kept going, wiping down the bar before polishing the tankards. He even started humming as he went, pausing to pour himself a glass of water (because even if it took him ages to get drunk, he wasn't about to risk it when he was watching three not-actual-children and running a bar) and gazing proudly over his tavern. The walls were noticeably bare of anything but lanterns, but he planned to fix that by painting murals on the walls. Of what, he wasn't sure yet (Gowther and Escanor probably had a lot of ideas; they were the artists of the group), but he had the paint and the plan and the time and...well, Fate seemed to be on his side for once. He grinned, taking a sip of the water-and choked on it as a yell of " _MERLIN WHAT THE FUCK!_ " rang through the room. _What in the-_

Glass of water forgotten, he rounded the line of shelves that hid the kitchen from view, skidding to a halt and scanning the room frantically, immediately assuming the worst. He'd heard of what happened to Belialuin, how she'd caused its destruction, and if she'd somehow tricked Estarossa and Zeldris into doing something that made them angry enough to recreate that carnage… well, he certainly didn't want to shove them to the ground again, but he would.

 _And if she hurt them, I won't fail to protect them. Never again._

Of course (of fucking course), when he saw it, he quickly comprehended that it wasn't _remotely_ as bad as his instincts assured him it was. On the other hand, what had actually happened was completely and utterly ridiculous, and his brain was quietly telling him that it could not be possible, knowing how they felt about being regarded as children. Except it was both possible and ridiculous, and it _had_ actually happened, and all he could do was stare for a good few minutes.

Merlin had somehow (he didn't want to actually _know_ how) upended a pot of leftovers prepared by Ban for the customers' meals (because even you couldn't fuck up something as simple as heating food, he'd grinned, and Meliodas had chucked a mug at him good-naturedly) over Zeldris's head—presumably with Estarossa's help, judging from how he was laughing uproariously in the corner. His youngest brother was fuming, dark magic rolling off him in waves even as something that looked like gravy dripped down his face, one black eye twitching as the pure darkness collected behind him and formed claw-like wings—

"Okay, I'm not going to ask what happened because I'm fairly sure I already know," Meliodas huffed, crossing his arms. _Authoritative. Like you're ordering the Sins as their Captain, not your siblings as their… babysitter. Hell, this makes it official._ Except Merlin never listened to him unless there was something in it for her, Estarossa never listened to anyone regardless, and Zeldris was used to giving orders, not taking them. _Brilliant. The three people who ignore authority the most in the same room with the brother they already resented. Oh, gods, Elizabeth, save me._ "Merlin, I honestly expected better. You're older than Liones itself, not… six."

"I _look_ six," she grinned.

 _That's not an excuse you little_ — "I look like I'm fifteen, but I don't act like it," he retorted. Merlin rolled her eyes and Meliodas huffed again, glancing at Estarossa. "I have no clue why I expected better from you, 'rossa, but I did. And Zeldris…"

" _Not one word_ ," his brother hissed between gritted teeth. "Not. One. Word."

He raised his hands in surrender. "I was going to say go clean yourself up, but sure." The glare that comment earned him was nothing short of vicious, but he'd seen worse from all manner of creatures stronger than Zeldris, so he shrugged as the black-haired demon whipped around and marched out of the room. "As for you two, clean up the mess you made. We open in twenty minutes and I need to start cooking."

"Please, spare us," Estarossa muttered, and Meliodas genuinely considered punching him in the throat to shut him up, before sighing and trotting back out to the front. _Happy place happy place happy place happy place…_

The wall was looking _exceedingly_ good right about now, but he squared his shoulders, grabbed the towel, and set to polishing the tables until he could see his own reflection in them.

He got through about half of them before another yell filled the air, this one strangely muffled. Meliodas stopped moving the towel (which was practically a rag at this point, worn through from many years of usage), resting his head on the cool wood before exhaling roughly. "What the hell have you done now, Merlin?" he murmured—because really, who else could be the culprit? —before lifting his head and reentering the kitchen. _It can't be as bad as what she did before…_ he reassured himself, squeezing his eyes shut before opening them cautiously. _Surely not_.

And then, _oh great, it's worse_.

Merlin, perched right next to the stove ( _that's dangerous, too dangerous, she could get hurt or DIE_ \- He managed to shut those strange, overprotective instincts up before they overran him, focusing on the armor of his exasperation. After all, she was nearly as ancient as he was, and almost as powerful. There was no need to fear her proximity to a stove— _then why do I_? He wondered) and was grinning like the cat who ate the canary, golden eyes glittering like she knew something he didn't. She spun a test tube in her hand as she did so, humming cheerfully. And Estarossa… Estarossa was nowhere to be found.

"Where is he?" Somehow, he managed to keep his voice from hitching slightly; as horrible as Estarossa had been (and he'd been absolutely _awful_ ), the man was _still_ his little brother and someone who had sided with him when it had counted most. And even if he hadn't, Meliodas would still move to protect him, because it was _instinct_ and his nature (horrible and cruel as a demon's nature could be, as he had been) was to protect the people that were his. Estarossa had been the first person who he'd considered part of his family, and Zeldris the second...and then the Sins. _Huh. Family_. He'd never had the nerve to say it out loud, afraid they'd be taken from him again-most things were-but it was true. " _Where is he_ ," he growled, and he could feel the darkness forming a shadowy aura around him.

Merlin apparently had the good sense to look mildly apologetic. "He got irritating, so…" She shrugged playfully, then tossed the test tube at him. "Catch, Meliodas."

His shadows snatched it out of the air for him, cradling it with as much delicacy and finesse as Ban wielded a kitchen knife. He pulled on the magic, dropping the tube gently into his hands, and stared. Again.

Estarossa hammered on the glass, black eyes like saucers and mouth wide open as he screamed in fear and fury.

His brother.

In a test tube.

He wasn't sure whether to laugh or throw Merlin through a window. He chose instead to open the tube, letting his brother out, before setting his gaze on the bored-looking Sin of Gluttony. She huffed, looking put-out—as if she had something to be upset about when she'd trapped someone else _in a tiny glass bottle_. The magic imprisoning his little brother vanished, and the test tube broke as he was thrown unceremoniously onto the floor, gasping for air (did Merlin not understand what _suffocation_ was, for the gods' sakes?). Meliodas helped him up with a sigh. "You okay?"

"Wanna—stab—her—"

"Sorry, 'rossa, but that violates the terms of agreement when it comes to staying at the Boar Hat." His brother grumbled, hiding his face in his arm, and he huffed. "I'll handle Merlin, don't worry. Go check on Zel."

"But—"

"You owe me for killing me."

Estarossa rolled his eyes. "You call that one thing in every _time_ —"

"Because you _actually_ killed me," Meliodas reminded him, earning a dark look. "Don't give me that, because you _did_ and it kinda freaking hurt. And my coming back doesn't negate the fact that I died and everything went to shit while I was gone, so you owe me for basically the rest of your life. Now shoo." He gave him a gentle shove, and the silver-haired demon scoffed before trotting off. _Now that that's sorted_ … "Merlin, what the actual fuck?"

She shrugged. "It's odd, isn't it? The others take on childish forms and are treated like actual children as well-but doing it to me? After everything I've done for your crusade? That's just _rude_ , Captain." Despite her irritated words, she didn't look at all angry—just mischievous. So, _it's business as usual_. "Of course, as my childhood was largely spent doing the same things I do now—"

"Tricking people, mocking people when they fall for your tricks, manipulating everyone you meet—" He ticked them off on his fingers as he spoke, mentally casting about for more.

"So, I figured that I may as well act like an ordinary child." Merlin gave him another wicked, catlike grin. "And don't children play pranks? I must say, it's rather fun. I think I'll stay like this for a while."

"Okay, first off, ordinary kids don't put people in _test tubes_." Meliodas was barely resisting the urge to slam his head against the wall _again_ , and again and again until he finally knocked himself unconscious. "Second, if you're going to act like a kid, you're going to be properly treated like one, so…" He drew himself upright, taking a deep breath. _I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm going to sound like Bartra, of all people…_ "Go to your room."

"My _what_." She sounded appropriately affronted, raising her dark eyebrows as she stared him down.

"Your room, your lab, whatever." He ran his fingers through his hair, grimacing. _Oh, gods, I sound ridiculous_. "Seriously, Merlin, this isn't your base of operations anymore. The war's over and it's an actual, functioning tavern, and I would like to be able to run it again." _Please_.

She looked miffed. "I don't think so."

 _Elizabeth, look what you've left me with. Look. I'm going to actually cry; gods, what a mess_. With a sigh, he wove raw shadow magic around his hand before wrapping it around Merlin; she let out an undignified yelp and immediately started clawing at it. _Okay, so this seems to be working. Maybe we'll all get out of this in one piece_.

 _Or_ , he thought, already on the second floor and watching in horror as she Absolute-Canceled his magic out and started rummaging through the nearest storage closet, humming, not. _What's most likely to get her to stop, what's she afraid of_ —

 _Me_. "Merlin," he snapped, letting the shadows rise, forming markings on his skin. She glanced up at him, blinking innocently—and froze as his eyes flashed deepest black. _So_ now _she gets it. Great. Why does it always come down the fear tactics_? "Just stay out of the way. _Please_."

He could see her weighing the pros and cons, the calculations flickering in those golden eyes as she tilted her head, crossing her arms. The boar symbol on her neck seemed to burn red, giving him another idea, and he added, "Captain's orders."

Merlin huffed again. "If I must," she grumbled, before stalking off—still managing to look regal and all-knowing, _somehow_ —towards her lab, looking for all the world as though it had been her decision to leave. Meliodas couldn't even find it in himself to be irritated, simply sinking down against the wall with a sigh of relief.

 _Surely it can't get any worse than this_.

For a while, it seemed as though everything was fine. There was enough food left from what Ban had made that the customers (of which there were many, people standing when they couldn't find tables or bringing their own stools) were kept happy, his selection of booze was declared by the nearby city's food critic as "the greatest in the land", the chatter was constant and the brawls were few and far between. The few fights that did crop up were easily defused by a quick chat with both parties, and everything seemed peaceful. Best of all, he hadn't heard a single complaint from any of the three (horrible, awful, cruel) not-really-children upstairs.

In hindsight, that should've been what tipped him off. Instead, it was the complaint of a young woman whose coat was stolen on the way there, only to find it returned in an unflattering color. "It's quite odd," he overheard her telling her friend. "I was just walking up here, and I'd brought it since it's supposed to get chilly tonight when-bam! It vanished out of my arms, like the night had snatched it away. And I'd spent so long saving up for it, too..." She shook her head with a sigh, and her friend squeezed her shoulder. "And then it was dropped on my head-in an awful lime green! I look _terrible_ in lime green, and I can't return the coat to the tailor, either!"

 _Thieves, maybe? Or some kind of sprites? I'll set up some wards around the Boar Hat tomorrow, just in case_. He poured the poor woman a tankard of his best ale, murmuring "On the house" as she wrapped her hands around the mug with a grateful smile. He offered a quick grin in response before hurrying back to the kitchen, pulling the next order from the oven and trotting back out into the tavern. Meliodas set a meat pie down in front of the man who'd ordered it, snorting at a joke that another patron sitting at the same table told, before pausing as the voice of someone behind him rang in his ears.

"...swear something tripped me on my way up here. There were no brambles or anything, but when I tried to walk around this big puddle, somethin' shoved me straight into it!" The man grimaced, and he noticed for the first time that his shirt was dripping with mud. "Could've sworn I heard laughter, too… ghosts, maybe?"

"Nah, man, it was probably the wind," his companion shrugged. "'Least it's warm and dry in here, right?"

"Yeah…"

That sense of uneasiness grew, but he shook it off and started taking orders from the newcomers. _Sprites and spirits are easy. Maybe I should set up those wards today_.

But the rumors kept coming and the weird feeling grew, until he was barely focusing and a man suggested (not unkindly, but the sympathy still made heat rush to his cheeks until he was certain he was blushing—a rare enough occurrence) that he let another employee take over until he could clear his head. "No, I'm fine," he managed, before swearing as the smell of burnt food reached his nostrils. "Oh, fuck, fuck—"

"Ah," the man remarked from where he sat at the bar, watching as Meliodas rushed into the kitchen and pulled the stew free of the stove. "Only one working tonight, hmm?" Dark eyebrows quirked upwards as he returned to the front of the tavern, aching from the few hours' worth of trying to do what he'd done alone for so long… and _failing_. Failing, for the first time in ages, at running this restaurant he loved. The thought was enough to make tears spring to the exhausted demon's eyes, but he forced them back and squared his shoulders. _Come on, man. If you could run the Boar Hat alone for ten straight years, you can run it alone for a few more hours_.

"Yeah, but I can handle it." He gave the man a weak grin. "Anything I can get you?"

A snort came from him. "No, it's enough to be out of the cold and you've clearly got enough on your plate. I suggest that you take a bit of time to rest. Owning a restaurant, running it alone—that can be draining. I've struggled with it myself."

Gods, this man was a fucking _saint_. He took a moment to mentally thank the Fates for sending this one understanding customer his way, before closing his eyes a moment. _But I've got to keep going_. Meliodas shook his head. "No, it's… just not normally this busy. It's gotten a little bit famous since the war ended; one of my waitresses kept it up and running when demons were ravaging everything and people spread the word, and now…" He shrugged. "I love it—bought it myself, helped rebuild it—but I forgot how hard it is to handle alone. Out of practice, I guess."

"And distracted?" He got an amused look. "Those rumors of ghosts flying around… well, it's just say I've seen something as well. A girl, maybe six, being carried by the night itself… except she had a tattoo on her neck. Sound familiar?"

Meliodas blinked, before tightening his grip on the bar's polished, knotted wood, barely suppressing a growl. "God _damnit_ -!" And then he was off and running, throwing the dishrag aside as he flung the door open and pelted into the night.

 _Those BRATS_ , he seethed as he ran, shadows writhing around him. _I am going to KILL them for this. Fuck, I shouldn't even be chasing after them; I should just lock the windows when they come looking for food and tell them to SUCK IT because they don't fucking deserve it_. A giggle that sounded suspiciously like Merlin came from behind him, and he whirled around, baring his teeth. Golden eyes flashed in the darkness and vanished as he changed direction, speeding up. _And fuck, there's no one left in the tavern-damnit, who cares_? Another snicker sang through the air and he spun, feeling like an idiot, as moonlight glimmered off of silvery hair and disappeared. _Oh, I am going to kill them. I'm going to kill them ALL_ -

Except for the first time in what was a long history of victories and losses and wild hunts, his quarry escaped him again. And again, and again and again until he was fairly sure that they had returned to the Boar Hat and that he was lost in the forest like the idiot they'd made of him. The lights of his tavern glittered, looking incredibly far away even though the customers were gone, and…

 _Elizabeth_. The mere thought of her name relieved some of his exhaustion, and he stood, brushing himself off with a sigh and starting the seemingly impossible journey to that warm, open door. Tonight had been an absolute disaster, but he was pretty sure he could cobble together a congratulatory cake for her success (he had no doubt that she'd succeeded). Surely even he couldn't screw up cake, he thought, stumbling into the comforting surroundings of the Boar Hat. It looked a bit...okay, _ransacked_ , but Elizabeth's long blue coat (the one he'd bought for her, dignified and elegant and perfect for her) was hanging on the coat-rack that King had pestered him to put up.

"I'm home," he murmured, and grinned reluctantly because despite everything, he _was_. The grin, however, was wiped off of his face was soon as he stood outside the door to his and Elizabeth's shared room and could hear the conversation within. It sounded like Elizabeth was (of all the ridiculous things) reading a story.

" _...'DEATH OR GLORY!' yelled Gobber. 'DEATH OR GLORY!' yelled eight boys back at him fanatically. Death, thought Hiccup and Fishlegs, sadly…_ "

"Sounds remarkably like you when training first started, huh, Zel—"

"Shut _up_ , Estarossa."

"I almost don't believe it." Merlin's voice, now, amused and tired and bright despite all that shit she'd just put him through and _stop you're going to end up strangling her at this rate_ , he scolded himself, tightening his fingers around the doorknob. "Zeldris the Executioner, the Ten Commandments' Piety, son of the Demon King, is curled up next to his sworn enemy and listening to her read a bedtime story."

He could picture Zeldris flushing bright red at that, a sleepy-but-mischievous grin crossing Estarossa's face, but Elizabeth's voice floated through the door again, a silvery laugh filling the air and effectively dispelling the (admittedly kind of adorable) image. He shuddered, feeling indignant. _How come she can get them to sit quietly? This is unfair and awful and they should be sleeping on the floor. For a week, at least. Rude little brats…_ "Leave him alone, Merlin, and stop acting like you're not enjoying the story as well."

"Yeah, shush, Merlin," Estarossa chimed in, sounding sleepy.

"You were the one talking—"

" _Shh_ ," Elizabeth repeated, and he pictured her running her fingers through Merlin's hair soothingly, lulling the three of them to sleep. " _… Gobber paused dramatically with the horn to his lips …_ "

Meliodas listened to her read, listened to Estarossa's yawns turn to quiet snores, to Merlin's soft murmurings about dragons turning into peaceful silence, Zeldris' breathing slowing. He knew instinctively that this was one of the first nights that they'd slept without nightmares, one of the first true rests they'd had since the war's end, and his resentment lessened a bit. _I'm glad…but they didn't have to ruin my bar to get tired enough to sleep properly, damn them_. With a sigh, he pushed the door open, making sure not the turn the lights on as he entered, his gaze falling on Elizabeth. She looked tired, but fulfilled, her blue eyes glowing in the half-light with the kind of euphoria only success could bring. "I assume you succeeded?" he murmured, casting a glance towards the bed. A novel rested on the small bedside table, a page marked down on it—maybe for a future reading session? _Will their pride even allow it_? He wondered, glancing at them…and a small smile crossed his face despite his annoyance. Merlin was nestled into Elizabeth's right side, small fingers knotted into the sleeve of her tunic. Zeldris was curled up on her left, his head pressed against her shoulder with Estarossa sprawled out and snoring quietly next to him. _It's kind of…cute, I guess. Not that I've forgiven them, of course_.

Elizabeth gave him a wide smile. "Absolutely." She stroked Zeldris's hair absentmindedly, then pulled back, seemingly realizing what she was doing. "I assume from their tales of triumph that things weren't _quite_ as good here."

"Speaking of which, I have no idea why you're letting them sleep in our bed after the trouble they caused." He leaned over his brothers, kissing Elizabeth on the cheek. "Never leave me alone with them again. Ugh."

"We might have to," she warned mischievously, and he groaned with not-entirely-mock horror. "I can wake them up and ask them to move, if you'd like."

He glanced over them—three children, not three warriors. Three kids that had been forced to grow up too fast over the millennia, who seemed to finally be able to relax, who had never had the chance to properly be children and were now trying to figure out what that was like. "Nah, let them sleep. I'll deal with the bastards in the morning." He waved a hand dismissively before pulling some blankets out of the closet, shooting another glance at them over his shoulder as he did. Her eyes glittered, and he grinned reluctantly, gaze sweeping over the three.

"You're a good man, Meliodas," she murmured, and he leaned in and kissed her goodnight before heading downstairs. He trotted into the kitchen, folding up the blankets before lying down on them, staring up at the ceiling.

 _A good man_.

For the first time in…well, _ages_ , Meliodas believed it.

(He was still very, very fucking pissed—but that could wait until tomorrow.)


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: In Which Things Go From Weird To...Well, Weird-er**

 _Why do I feel so damn uncomfortable?_

Squinting against the early-morning glare, Meliodas began to stretch out his limbs to greet to the day, feeling aches run through his body in response. _Surely I've not been tied up again?_ Unlikely. Hawk was absent, no doubt moving to third base with his sow, and Elizabeth had long since abandoned this particular nonsense, even when he'd done something stupid. Meliodas stretched out an arm experimentally (no ropes, thank goodness) then realisation hit him as the events of the previous day flooded back - he was sleeping on the floor; the children-who-were-not-really-children had taken over his bed.

 _This is the last time!_ Meliodas stood, determined to give his brothers and Merlin what for. The sight on the bed that greeted him however was not what he expected. Rather than two (admittedly small but still fully grown) adult demons, terrorisers of Britannia and former Commandments, lay two tiny actual-children, curled up against one another, chests rising and falling in sleep. Silver and black hair was mussed up, spread out over the pillows and the demons' small faces, but their snub noses were still visible, confirming their identities. _What the actual fuck?_ Eyes raking over the bed, Meliodas bit hard on his tongue to stop himself from yelling. Perturbed as he was, he did not want to wake up Estarossa or Zeldris.

"Change then back, now!" Meliodas growled as Merlin sat up on the bed, golden eyes glinting with her amusement as a smile curved over her lips.

"I don't think so," Merlin giggled, her hands folded on her lap as she sat crossed legged next to Elizabeth. "You were treating them like children so now that's what you've got. I'm teaching you a lesson."

"Do it, or I'll get someone else to do it for you. You don't think you're the only one in Britannia who knows Absolute Cancel?" Meliodas glared at Merlin, hands on hips, his voice coming in a hushed whisper despite his annoyance.

"Oh really, who else can do it then?" Merlin asked innocently, staring back.

 _Damn: no one_. Chandler had been annihilated during the Holy War, Vivian had perhaps mercifully perished before the real action had even started and Gilthunder, in his _infinite wisdom_ , had outlawed the production of spell beads on taking charge of Liones. _I_ told _him it was a stupid idea_.

"Zeldris can do it. It might take him a bit of time to learn the spell, but…"

"You don't think they have any magic do you?" Merlin asked in mock surprise. "I took care of that. Can't have children with power running around."

Head suddenly swimming, Meliodas's legs gave way and he sat down on the bed. The movement was enough to jostle the two sleeping demons (they looked about eight and five in human years) and they both started groaning and rubbing their eyes.

Estarossa was the first to react. "Cool!" he said as if awestruck, examining his hands, grinning excitedly at Merlin, who cackled with laughter in return. Zeldris looked around, first at Estarossa, then Meliodas (face as black as thunder) and burst into tears, fat salty droplets streaming down his face. The commotion was enough to rouse Elizabeth who, despite not being fully awake instinctively wrapped her arms around the sobbing child.

"It's alright," Elizabeth murmured softly, holding the little boy close to her as she quickly appraised the situation. Giving Merlin a careful look, causing the girl to look momentarily slightly (only _slightly_ , damn her) ashamed of herself, Elizabeth hopped off the bed, ushering Estarossa and Zeldris along with her. "We'll all feel a lot better after breakfast. Come on, let's get you something to eat."

"I'm not having anything _he_ cooks," Estarossa whined as he pointed at his eldest brother. "Last time I did that I was sick." The silver-haired boy shoved a finger down his throat and made gagging voices, much to Merlin and Zeldris's amusement, both of them dissolving into fits of giggles. _Ungrateful shits_.

"You don't have to. Ban and Elaine came back last night. Meliodas, will you go wake Ban up, please?" Elizabeth looked at him sweetly, and Meliodas felt his gratitude to her swell in his breast. He desperately needed a break from...whatever _this_ was.

Walking slowly up the stairs of The Boar Hat, keen to prolong his absence from his dysfunctional family, Meliodas inevitably reached the door he was looking for far earlier than he would have liked and entered without knocking as usual.

"Hey Ban, you're back early! What…" Before he could continue, Meliodas felt a wind rush past him as Ban sped off the bed and tugged him unceremoniously by the shoulder out of the room, before shutting the door softly behind him.

"Be quiet would you? Elaine's just got to sleep and she's feeling pretty rough. That's why we came home," Ban explained in a whisper, his crimson eyes boring into his friend. "Now, you need something Cap'n?"

"Yeah breakfast, now. Just come and make pancakes. You'll see why when you get there." _Please don't ask questions, my sanity can't take it_. Ban looked at his friend closely, noting the set of his jaw before nodding slowly, his shoulders relaxing as he led the way down to the kitchen, Meliodas following behind.

The sight that met their eyes in arriving in the bar was enough to send Meliodas's head into a spin. Tables and stools had been pulled over and dragged to the centre of the room. A very small Estarossa stood on top of the huge pile of furniture, holding an imaginary sword up in the air.

"This is my land! Intruders will be elimi… elimi… done away with. Enter at your own risk!" the boy yelled, one hand on his hip and his mouth in a pout as his charcoal eyes glowered at Ban and Meliodas. Ban took one look at the demon in miniature and the makeshift fort before bursting into laughter, striding to Estarossa with his long legs and poking the kid hard in the stomach with a long, bony finger. He wiggled it slightly and before Meliodas knew what was happening Estarossa was laughing and squirming as Ban tickled him, the pile of tables and stools threatening to topple to the cobbled stone floor below with the disturbance.

"Hey, no fair he's attacking the General. Merlin, sic 'im," Zeldris commanded as he crawled out of the mess of furniture, standing in front of Ban, arms folded across his chest as he glared. Merlin too extricated herself from the mass of wood and, a grin of wicked delight on her face, started to mutter some words under her breath.

"Now, there's no need for that," Elizabeth said gently as she placed a hand on Merlin's shoulder. The girl looked up, a calculating look flashing across her features before she acquiesced, taking hold of Elizabeth's hand and kicking one leg back and forth, the picture of innocent girlhood. _Who does she think she's fooling?_ "Ban, I think some food would be useful. Would you mind making something quick? And not too much sugar," Elizabeth added sotto voce into Ban's ear as he headed towards the kitchen. "They're hyper enough as it is." Ban grinned in reply, before whispering something into Elizabeth's ear. With a quick look of understanding, the goddess set off up the stairs, her silver hair swaying as she moved. _Where is she off to? Don't leave me in my own again with them, please!_

Soon the sound of clanking bowls and the crackling of frying filled the bar and Meliodas, unsure of what else to do, set about returning the interior to its usual state, or as close as they could manage. _I was gone for ten minutes. How could they possibly have done all of this?_ The worn rag hung on its usual hook and Meliodas started wiping down the tables, the habit of the action soothing his jagged nerves as the three laughing children ran around him, squealing. It was like Hawk was home, only even noisier.

"Alright, breakfast," called Ban as he plonked three plates down on the bar. The children instantly stopped their game (at last some peace) and hopped up onto adjacent stools, Merlin immediately cramming large mouthfuls of the meal into her face.

"What. Is. This?" Estarossa asked pointedly, poking the food on the plate with his fork.

"Blueberry pancakes with honey. Eat up," Ban replied, leaning an elbow on the bar and grinning broadly. Meliodas stopped tidying the area and stepped over to join his friend. He had to see this. Demon children were not often given much besides dragon meat in the early years and he was intrigued to see how his brothers would react.

Experimentally, Zeldris picked up a blueberry, scrunching up his face in disgust before licking it. Evidently reassured that it was not poisonous, he popped it in his mouth, his whole face morphing into an enormous smile as he did so. He started to eat the pancakes in earnest, even catching up with Merlin before she had finished. Estarossa, still unconvinced, pushed his plate to one side, his expression sullen.

"The policy on food here is simple: take it or leave it," Meliodas said with a grin as Estarossa made groaning noises. "There's nothing else until lunchtime." Defeated, Estarossa shoved a mouthful of pancake into his mouth, trying and failing to hide his obvious enjoyment. Very soon, the plates were cleared and the three actual-children looked up at Meliodas expectantly.

"Um… why don't you three go and play outside for a bit? You've got no powers right, you need to train," Meliodas suggested, albeit a bit weakly. _Just get out of my bar, right now_. "We'll call you when it's time to come in." Expecting resistance, Meliodas was relieved and suspicious when the three small balls of mischief rushed out of the bar, laughing their heads off. Looking out of the diamond-patterned windows, Meliodas saw the children running round the flower-dusted field outside of The Boar Hat engaged in what appeared to be some type of chase.

"So, Cap'n, wanna share what the fuck is going on here~" Ban asked with mock indignation, his canines glinting in the morning light.

"It's Merlin, she… she's…" Meliodas ground to a halt as darkness began to bleed over his forehead, his eyes glowing black with his anger. "This is all her fault!"

"Yeah, I figured. So what are we going to do, or are you going to babysit them until they grow up? How long will that take by the way?" Ban's languid leer took on an evil edge as he watch his friend crumble, the darkness blending to skin as Meliodas hid his face in his hands.

"Centuries," he whispered. "It takes about two hundred and fifty years for demons to reach maturity. I'd say Estarossa's about forty-five now, Zeldris isn't even twenty."

"Fuck! How does your race cope? I thought sixteen years was bad enough," Ban cackled.

"That's only the high-ranking demons. The foot soldiers are born ready for battle so there's no difficulty there. High-ranking demons are sent away until they're old enough to be useful. You come back when you're about one hundred and fifty years old and start proper training. It's pretty intensive, so there's no time for mischief. There are targets to meet."

Returning to the task of setting the bar back to order as Ban returned to the kitchen, quite some time passed before Meliodas stared out of the window, suddenly concerned by the lack of noise. He scoured the landscape; Merlin was sitting on the branch of a tree swinging her legs back and forth (again with the "innocence" thing; didn't she realize that absolutely no one was falling for it?), but there was no sign of the two boys. _Where the fuck are they?_ Heart sinking, Meliodas rushed out of the door to stand in front of the little girl.

"You won't find them here," Merlin said lightly as she deliberately shredded a leaf with her tiny fingers. "They went on a hunt, I don't know where. It's all very boring, that rubbish."

"But… how? They're just kids. What are they hoping to catch?" Meliodas gripped onto the trunk of the tree to prevent his knees from giving way. _This is a nightmare. I'll wake up soon_. Merlin shrugged, before returning to the leaf, carefully peeling back the dark green material from the delicate veins of the plant.

Stretching out his powers, Meliodas searched the land for any sign of his brothers. This was not easy. Their post-transformation signature was incredibly weak and he closed his eyes to try and pick up the smallest trace of their power. At last he caught something, the slightest impression of demonic energy coming from the nearby fields. Wasting no time, Meliodas ran towards it, the branches of the trees bending backwards with the force of his movement. His green eyes scanned the landscape, but though he must be in the right area he could see nothing. This was a fool's errand.

Then all at once a fierce roar filled the air, the unmistakable howl of an angry dusk bison. Not too dangerous a foe in normal circumstances but more than enough to destroy two idiot children. Quick as a flash, Meliodas sped towards the animal, hoping he was not too late to prevent a disaster. The sight that met his eyes when he reached it was more than enough to make his head swim with concern.

"Is that all you got?" Zeldris yelled as he stood directly in front of the charging orange hulk, his red suit goading the animal to new heights of rage. "Come and get me you oaf!" The beast bellowed in fury, cantering towards the small boy, blowing hot breath from its nose as the ground shuddered under its hooves. _Not good. Definitely not good at all._

Zeldris stood stock still as the mass of anger approached, his expression one of delighted glee. Meliodas was on the point of plucking the boy out of harm's way when, without warning, a flash of blue and silver fell from a nearby tree right onto the back of the charging beast. With a shout of triumph, Estarossa grabbed the dusk bison by the horns, pulling its head backwards up towards the sky, digging his knees sharply into the animal's flank. The beast bucked violently, trying to shake off the intruder, but Estarossa held his ground. Undeterred, the beast continued on its path towards Zeldris, head held down as far as it could as if prepared to charge.

Before Meliodas could process what was happening, Zeldris picked up a sturdy stick from the ground, the end of it sharpened to a vicious point. In one fluid movement, Zeldris thrust the makeshift spear into the animal's throat, pushing it in as far as it would go. The beast spluttered in pain, before falling to the ground, Estarossa jumping off its back as it thudded into the dirt. Zeldris approached their prey and yanked his spear out of its neck, checking that it was completely dead as he did so. With a grin, the two boys gave each other a high five as they surveyed their kill.

"That was easy," Estarossa said as he brushed off his coat (the brat was actually worried about his goddamn coat and not the fact that he _could have died right fucking there_ ). "Don't know what the fuss is all about with these things."

"The fuss is that you could have been killed!" Meliodas yelled as his voice finally returned to him and he ran towards his two brothers, who looked up at him in surprise as he approached. "Do you have any idea how dangerous those things can be?"

"Not much," Zeldris said, his chest puffed up with pride. "That was nothing. We could take ten of those, no twenty."

"What were you thinking? You have no powers, no weapons… and why? Whatever possessed you?" Meliodas ground his teeth together as he struggled to control his anger, suppressing the urge to swipe the satisfied expression off Zeldris's face.

"We wanted something decent for lunch, that's all," Estarossa grumbled as he hopped off the carcass. "And we had a weapon. It took a while to make that," he added sulkily gesturing at the stick Zeldris was still holding. "We're not stupid."

"Attacking a dusk bison, on your own, with nothing but a pointy stick? Stupid is _exactly_ what you are. And this is your fault Estarossa. You're the elder one, it's your job to look out for Zeldris, not to lead him into obvious danger."

"Well, _excuse_ me," Estarossa said, fuming, "Forgive me for following your example. You took me on an hunt when I was barely born, remember? And I nearly got killed."

"That was different," Meliodas growled, but he found he could not maintain eye contact. It had been a risky enterprise, probably riskier than dealing with the dusk bison. "I was an adult, more than capable of protecting you. How would you have saved Zeldris exactly if that beast hadn't succumbed?"

"Can we just go home," Zeldris whined, interrupting the argument. "I'm tired." As if to prove the point, the young boy yawned widely before promptly sitting down on the ground, pouting up at his eldest brother. Angry as he was, Meliodas could not help himself smile as he looked at the pale petulant face which stared back up at him.

"Fine, get on my shoulders. I'll carry you back," Meliodas said and Zeldris hopped on, laughing with delight as he grabbed handfuls of messy golden hair to steady himself. With a grunt, Meliodas picked up the enormous dusk bison and started the journey back towards The Boar Hat, Estarossa following at his side.

"How come he gets a ride? This is favouritism," Estarossa complained as they trudged. Although he had not noticed it in his rush to find the pair, Meliodas realised they were some distance from the bar. It would take a while to get there at this pace. Ignoring his brother, who he decided did have a point, Meliodas continued in silence towards his home, fighting the urge not to deposit Zeldris on the ground as the young boy slipped two small hands over his eyes.

Merlin had to change these two back soon, or he would not be responsible for his actions. The question was how to persuade her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 4:** **In Which Zeldris Doesn't Want To Remember**

Zeldris was about ninety-five percent sure that the universe had it out for him at this point. Losing the war hadn't convinced him of this, of course, but being banned from the Demon Realms for being a "traitor" (as if he hadn't done more than anyone to restore their Clan to their former glory, those traitorous _snakes_ ) and forced to move in with his brother's absolutely insane friends…that had come close. Merlin turning him into a seventeen-year-old demon (which Elizabeth said was about five for humans. Either way, he was extremely tiny and extremely _pissed off_ ) just happened to be the final straw.

But…if he was going to be honest about it, it wasn't entirely bad. Sure, the lower pain threshold was annoying (he'd almost cried when he stubbed his toe. _His toe_. Who even _did_ that? Well, maybe the new Faerie King, who he'd caught in the middle of a swearing fit after doing the same) and the lack of power frustrated him beyond belief, and the fact that his first reactions were almost always _extraordinarily_ childish was infuriating, but other parts of it were sort of…tolerable. The food was definitely better than raw dragon meat (Estarossa had tried to convince Meliodas and Elizabeth otherwise a few nights ago, but the delicious stew had shut him up pretty quickly), and his father wasn't there as some omniscient, awful presence, and he didn't have to train for anything. He wasn't allowed near sharp things, or to go out hunting again _EVER_ (Meliodas had said it like that, warning sirens blaring even as he kept his voice low), but he could just run around, and talk, and… _exist_.

That was another weird thing about Meliodas's beloved Sins. They didn't give orders outside of battle, and they didn't have regular training drills or anything of the sort. Meliodas asked them to do things, sure, but they could always say no. This concept was utterly bizarre, another human anomaly; how the _hell_ did things get done without a chain of command? Without someone constantly in charge? The Ten Commandments would've been horribly dysfunctional without either him or the Demon King giving the orders (and Gloxinia and Dolor probably would've changed sides a lot earlier, too). It should've been impossible. He was raised on orders-hell, so was Meliodas himself! But this ragtag group of _equals_ had obliterated the Demon Clan's army, had fought their way through thousands of elite soldiers and come out on top in almost every fight.

It was weird, but it wasn't _bad_ or anything. Just…different. And kind of _nice_ , too, when he realized that Ban would sneak them cookies (though not to Merlin, who'd always get sulky for a little bit and steal someone else's) even if his big brother told him not to, and that Diane and King would let him explore without Estarossa so long as Oslo was with him (they'd found a stream the last time, with all sorts of interesting rocks and a crumbling wall that looked like it was from a castle). It was especially fun when King's sister snuck into their room despite being told explicitly by King, Ban, and just about everyone to _rest_ to tell them all sorts of stories about the Faerie King's Forest. She defied all suggestion of taking it easy, insisting that spending time with the young demons was good practice. That last situation was rare, but she seemed very nice and very clever, too—maybe smarter than Gowther, who liked to read to them when Elizabeth was away or when Meliodas wanted them out of the tavern (Estarossa rarely paid attention, but he did, interested in the thousands of stories that the former Commandment had committed to memory).

One thing, however, annoyed Zeldris (confused him, mostly, but he was _terrified_ of it and fear wasn't allowed because it made you weak and his father had no use for weakness) the most about this predicament, and he was pretty sure it was Merlin's fault (because making it her fault was easier than admitting to anything). The worst thing about it was that they all _touched_ him—hugged him, ruffled his hair, hoisting him on their shoulders and giving—giving _goodnight kisses_ , of all things. Little, _casual_ touches that made his head spin and warm feelings run through his body, feelings he hadn't asked for but didn't have the strength to lock down anymore.

The (frankly awful and irritating) feelings had started-or become noticeable, really-after that night a few weeks ago, before they'd even been turned into children, when Elizabeth had been reading that story to them. He'd been caught up in it, surprised that humans could come up with such interesting concepts and intrigued by the little green dragon and the small freckle-y boy that were the heroes of the tale. Demon stories weren't half as interesting, and they always included some sort of wild shedding of blood, or massacres or battles. No, the dragon story was refreshing and cool, and he'd been exhausted and had felt...almost _secure_ , with his brother on one side and Elizabeth on the other, her soothing voice washing over them. And she'd run her fingers through his hair, and the touch just made him feel sort of... _melty_ and weird, but not bad at all.

It had gotten even worse after Merlin cursed them, after he'd had that humiliating reaction (he'd burst out crying without even _thinking_ about it, his first instinct being to sob and hope that someone else would tell him how to fix it rather than doing what he always had and taking it on himself). Elizabeth had hugged him, and he'd let her, had craved the contact and the comfort and the warmth that emanated from her-all things that demons were supposed to ignore, to _hate_. Demons weren't supposed to want hugs or even like them, or let people run fingers through their hair, or press against people (least of all reincarnated goddesses!) in their sleep. They were supposed to be as cold as ice and sharp as steel, blades that their King would wield to conquer.

But the touches kept coming. Ban would ruffle his hair as he passed, or Meliodas would loop an arm around his shoulders in a sort of sideways hug, or Elizabeth would give his hand a gentle squeeze as she walked by, or Diane would pick him up and-and _squeeze_ him, squealing something about small, cute creatures. And he wanted to hate it so _damn badly_ -but he couldn't, not even if he remained stiff and unyielding throughout the entire point of contact. It was like his body had the stupid idea that he wanted these sort of hugs and things. _I don't_ , he thought indignantly, shuffling down the stairs to Estarossa's room. Elizabeth was going to read them another chapter of the dragon book, and they had just been getting to the best part, too, with the boy and the little green dragon about to take their special "Warrior Tests" or whatever they were called, and he desperately wanted to know whether they would pass or not. Still, he hesitated just outside the door, frowning slightly. _Should I even be doing this? I'm not five, I'm a proper adult. Mentally. Full-grown demons don't listen to bedtime stories, especially ones that aren't about war or anything useful_.

Then Elizabeth opened the door, blinking down at him with warm blue eyes, and he found himself resisting the urge (the stupid, _stupid_ urge) to lift his arms and quietly ask if she might pick him up. "Just in time," she said with a chuckle. "Estarossa's... _impatient_." An indignant cry rose from the bed where Estarossa sat, his older brother giving Elizabeth a disgruntled look.

Zeldris was fairly sure that this was the point when he was supposed to make some sort of sarcastic comment about his brother being stupid, but a weird lump swelled up in his throat when he opened his mouth. _Come on_ , he thought, resisting the urge to cringe as his heart sped up, a panicked thumping that made him feel weirdly ill. _Just say something-anything, come on, you're the fucking Executioner and you can't even say a word-_

Elizabeth's eyes seemed to soften (he couldn't really tell; he was starting to feel awfully dizzy and sick and he didn't even know _why_ ), and he managed to stifle a gasp as she took his hand. He let her lead him over to the bed where Estarossa waited, black eyes peering impatiently from under silver bangs, and didn't even protest (he wasn't sure if he actually could; his voice still didn't seem to be working and that sick and awful feeling was still pulling at his gut) when she picked him up and nestled him into her side. "Where were we?" she inquired, pulling out the book. Zeldris felt the nausea lessen as he watched her open the worn leather cover, and he cautiously pressed himself against her side as Estarossa cheered and bounced over to her. He had a distinct feeling that she knew _exactly_ where they were in the story, he ignored it, instead trying to peer over her shoulder in order to see the familiar words carefully printed on the pages. Fingers wound through his hair a second later and he fought the urge to melt into her side and lean into the touch, instead shifting surreptitiously to the side and squeezing his eyes shut. _I don't like it_ , he repeated to himself. _I don't like it I don't like it I don't like it-_

"He was going to those celebration thingies and was going to take that Viking Warrior Test or whatever it was called," his older brother grinned, still bouncing in place. Zeldris opened one eye cautiously as a laugh ran through Elizabeth's body. Why was his brother taking this so well? Why wasn't he upset at all? Why didn't he flinch when people were really loud or jump when people snuck up behind him? Why didn't he seem to immediately scan faces for disappointment and anger and all sorts of things that he shouldn't be bothered by? Was it because he was older? Or… Is there... _is there something wrong with me?_

"I believe you're right," Elizabeth told Estarossa, the words echoing dully in Zeldris's ears and managing to pull him out of that deepening spiral of festering thoughts. He blinked, alarmed to find that his eyes felt watery. _No, no, no_ … He shook his head slightly, sucking in a shaky breath before resting his head hesitantly on her arm. She gave him a small, almost sad smile (she couldn't be sad because if she was sad that meant Meliodas would be angry at them and he wasn't sure that he had the strength to deal with that, if he'd ever had the strength at all) before beginning to read, her sunshine-warm voice washing over the room soothingly. " _The Thorsday Thursday celebrations were a truly spectacular occasion…_ "

Zeldris found himself getting invested in the story again, the sick feeling becoming more of a dull ache as she kept reading aloud. Estarossa dozed off partway through the chapter- _ironic, he thought, glad that he could feel annoyed about it rather than upset, the idiot wanted me to get down here so we could read it and then fell asleep before we even got to the good bit. Typical_ -before actually falling asleep, soft snores punctuating each sentence (not loud enough that he couldn't hear the story, thank goodness). He was starting to feel tired as well, a ringing sensation blocking out most of the words, a heavy sensation forcing his eyelids down, down, down as her honey-smooth words washed over him. He let his eyes close, let himself start to slip away.

 _"'Well, don't expect ME to pity you!" said Hiccup. 'What kind of Father thinks his stupid Laws are more important than his own son? And what kind of stupid Tribe is this, anyway, that it can't just have ordinary people in it?'"_ Elizabeth's voice didn't waver as she read the sentence, but to Zeldris it sounded like the clanging of a bell, loud and echoing and _painful_ , snapping him out of his stupor with a gasping breath. _What-I don't understand, why would he say that, he's going to get hurt you don't say that to a king no no no no no-_

 _"Stoick stood l_ -Zeldris?" And then Elizabeth's worried face was in front of his, or above-he couldn't tell, everything was going blurry and he couldn't breathe or think and things were flickering awful colors-and the book was tucked under her arm. He realized belatedly that he was crying, that he didn't know when he'd started or why, which only made him cry _harder_ and feel even _worse_. "Oh, gods, sweetheart, I'm so sorry-" No, it hadn't been her fault (or maybe it had been; he wasn't sure what to think anymore-was he a demon or a human, a killer or a child, Commandment or Sin or something different entirely?), it was his fault for being weak and getting upset like a-like a child. Elizabeth murmured softly and picked him up; he clung to the fabric of her shirt with a gasp, before burying his face in her shoulder with a low whimper. _Weak_ , his father's voice hissed in his ear. _Weak, worthless child; you can never compare to your brother, even that rat Estarossa is better than you._

"Elizabeth?" _Estarossa_. His brother didn't understand, never had and never would. Father's eye had never been on him, he'd never been under that awful, analytical gaze as it picked out every mistake, every failure, every reason he wasn't a proper demon or wasn't good enough. He felt a sob bubble up in his throat and choked it down, desperately trying to be quiet so that his brother would not wake up fully.

"Go back to sleep, Estarossa," Elizabeth soothed, and though her tone was gentle, her eyes were unyielding. His older brother gave a soft grumble, but he heard his body flop back against the mattress. Elizabeth's fingers ran through his hair again and he hiccuped, trying to force back another sob. He could feel her moving, but he didn't want to lift his head, to confront the reality that he was small and weak and sobbing over a line from a book because it reminded him of-of himself, _too much of himself_. The hinges creaked (ah, so they were leaving, he thought dazedly), and a new voice, softer than he remembered it, managed to echo through the haze that choked his thoughts.

"What happened?"

 _Meliodas_ , he thought, and immediately wanted to hide away in the relative safety of Estarossa's room. Maybe Estarossa didn't know what being under his father's claws had done to him, but Meliodas did, and that was worse, because he'd try and talk to him about it and then his brother would know _exactly_ how weak he was. "I was right _,_ " Elizabeth said after a moment, and he flinched, because her voice came out as a growl-an _intimidating_ growl, like a wolf's as it stared down a challenger. Her grip on him tightened, faintly soothing and protective. " _I was right_." There was a beat of silence, and then she shifted him slightly. He clung to her shirt desperately, unwilling to look up and see the pity from everyone else and feel the tears streaming down his face. He felt her sigh, felt the vibrations in her throat as she said, "I read him this," Elizabeth said and Zeldris felt her arms shift as she handed something to his brother. "And it-wait, Meliodas-"

"Zel," his brother whispered, and he sucked in a shaky breath as he was suddenly passed from Elizabeth's arms to Meliodas's. A sob shuddered through him and he pushed at the stronger arms, at the seven heartbeats that thudded with a dull, aching rhythm as more tears spilled fruitlessly down his cheeks. _No, stop, please, I don't wanna talk, don't wanna listen please please please…_ He could hear footsteps-Elizabeth leaving, Elizabeth realizing that he was weak and worthless and pawning him off on the only person who would take him, Elizabeth going away and leaving him with the brother who blamed him for the deaths of Gloxinia and Dolor and probably just about everyone else (how many people had his soldiers killed in Camelot, _how many-_ ). "Zeldris," Meliodas repeated, and there were hands in his hair, stroking and soothing and warm. "Zeldris, you're safe. He's six feet-a thousand feet-under, and trust me, I've gone back to check."

The pain in his brother's voice made him twist with guilt, and the warm grip tightened-but gently, not painfully. It was almost as if Meliodas was _actively_ trying not to hurt him, as if he wanted him _safe_. _Demons aren't allowed to be safe_ , he thought, more than a bit hysterically, _demons are the worst nightmares of the other Clans, they want us eradicated, not safe, and you serve them-and Father wants us to fight and I'm supposed to fight them all, kill them all, and I'm tired, so tired_. He fought the urge to relax in his arms, shifting and stiffening and trying desperately to keep his tearstained face hidden as Meliodas spoke again. "And while I've thought about digging him up and killing him slower for what he's done to-to everyone he ever touched, ever used and tossed away-" _Used and tossed away, used and tossed away, used and tossed away…_ The words echoed with an horrible clang in Zeldris's head, and he felt tears- _more_ tears, even though he'd never stopped crying, even though he seemingly _couldn't_ stop-press against his eyes. "It's just...he's not...worth the pain, not worth the cycle restarting."

There was a rustle of movement, as if Meliodas had slid down the wall. Sure enough, he felt his older brother settle him in his lap (it was odd, being small enough to fit in the lap of someone he'd been as tall as, but it was also strangely…comforting) before wrapping his arms around him again. " ** _You're safe_** ," Meliodas breathed in the ancient demon tongue, the language in which no being, living or dead, could lie-as if he knew that it would calm him, as if he _knew_ that he'd relied on reassurances like that from a faceless voice after a "talk" or a "training session" that was more torture than anything else. As if he knew of a voice that had whispered in his ears while he was carried by the royal medics, having trained until he was unable to walk, back to his chambers. " ** _You are safe, and you are loved, and that bastard will never, ever be able to look at you or touch you again. I'd stab his eyes out if he tried, carve the skin from his hands and then cut out his hearts. You are safe and loved_** ," he repeated fiercely. Zeldris stared up at those green, green eyes, ones that suddenly seemed to blaze with a sort of protective fury that he'd convinced himself didn't exist for him. Meliodas ran his fingers through Zeldris's hair-and he _let him_ , and he let himself melt into those warm, shielding arms, let himself listen to those seven thundering heartbeats, soothing now instead of frightening-and he let out a squeak as his brother kissed his forehead. "Understand?" he asked softly in the common tongue.

And Zeldris found that, for once, he actually did.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: In Which Everything Goes Very Wrong Very Fast**

Life at The Boar Hat had returned to a semblance of normality, or as normal as a bar run by heros with three actual children to care for in a ravaged, post-war Britannia can be. Mama Hawk meandered around, stopping at likely places so the Sins could earn the money they needed to help pay for food (hunting was apparently _still_ out of the question) and there was no shortage of customers. If anything, the prospect of seeing the two demon princes who had been so feared across the land - in miniature form - had drawn in the punters in droves. Zeldris had found this acutely annoying: as if it wasn't bad enough that he was still being picked up and hugged by all of Meliodas's crew (Harlequin aside, at least the Faerie King had some respect) now The Boar Hat patrons were at it too, their forwardness usually lubricated with alcohol. Meliodas had tried to stop it to be fair, but he was fighting a losing battle.

The embarrassment, the shame, was enough to make Zeldris's cheeks flush bright red (usually earning more coos from the drunken revellers). The fact that he was too weak, too pathetic to hex them was a continued source of frustration. _If I had my power you would not dare approach me._ He could not understand how Estarossa could possibly be enjoying the experience so much. The silver-haired boy darted around, prattling sweetly, amusing all and sundry and getting sweets and the odd penny in return for his efforts. He was relishing the attention, and this made Zeldris even more cross. Did no one in his family have any pride left? They were like a travelling circus.

Speaking of pride, the other thing of note was that Escanor had returned home too, having closed down his bar - cave - thing, successfully. He had brought quite a bit of odd stock back to The Boar Hat too, and Meliodas and Ban had experimented with the contents of the dusty bottles which Escanor had acquired while in exile. Zeldris had rolled his eyes - _ridiculous behaviour_ \- but he had tried not to make his brother's life too hard since they had shared that moment in Meliodas's room. Although he did not want to say it out loud, Zeldris was more than thankful for his brother's love and protection. Truth be told, Zeldris had actually engineered reasons to spend time alone with Meliodas, and had been relieved to find that his eldest brother had welcomed his company. They had even gone fishing at one point, Meliodas helping him to reel in a trout which they'd shared before heading back home. It had tasted awful, of course, but that really didn't matter.

Merlin on the other hand had different ideas. Since Escanor had found his way back to the bar, she had been even more insufferable, knowing that her unquestioning knight would break down any attempts to apply just punishment to her for her misdemeanours. No one crossed Escanor, not even Elizabeth; he was (temporarily) invincible after all. The goddess had tried to reason with the man, but he'd just taken off his glasses and glared at her as he towered above, arms folded across his chest in disdain when she tried to point out Merlin's shortcomings and the need for a regimen of discipline.

"You will leave her alone," boomed the great voice as Zeldris ran into The Boar Hat, pretend sword in hand. He had grown used to the freedom allowed him, and now enjoyed exploring the fields around the bar on his own. He would have stayed out for longer but it was nearly time for breakfast, and with Ban cooking that was not something to be missed.

"I will hear no more on this subject," The loud voice continued as Zeldris stood stock still, willing himself not to tremble. For once, he could not fully blame his fear on his childlike state: he'd been frightened of Escanor since the human had so unaccountably totalled Estarossa. "You will heed my words or face the consequences, and you will apologise to the young lady for daring to interfere with your betters."

"But Escanor," Elizabeth protested, her words sounding desperate, "last night you said…"

"Never mind what that fool chose to convey when you spoke to him last. He is not worthy of an audience. I tell you now, the Lady Merlin is not for you to trifle with, and that is the end of the discussion."

Zeldris shrank back into the shadows as Escanor strode across the bar and out of the door, his muscular legs whipping past as the still-loose clothes fluttered in the breeze caused by his movements. He'd be out until dusk now, doing who knew what.

"Zeldris, how long were you standing there?" Elizabeth asked as she came into the bar, looking decidedly put out.

"I… um…" Zeldris began before his bottom lip quavered and he had to clench his fist to stop himself from crying. "It was…"

"It's not your fault," Elizabeth said gently, her hard features softening as she knelt down beside Zeldris and gave him a hug. "You must be hungry. I'll go fetch Ban, he's slept in this morning." _Well, what do you expect if he and Meliodas stay up all night drinking,_ Zeldris thought as Elizabeth started to head up the stairs, but he didn't say anything. He had resisted it and tried to convince himself otherwise but no matter how hard he tried it was no longer possible to pretend that he did not love Elizabeth.

"Sappy!" a mischievous voice sounded from above and Zeldris looked up to see Merlin floating in mid-air, her face alight with wickedness as she somersaulted around, her purple, lace-trimmed dress remarkably staying in position as she twirled and tumbled. "You'll be getting a reputation as a mummy's boy if you don't watch it."

"Why are you so mean to them?" Zeldris whined as he glared up at Merlin, heat flaming in his cheeks but pushing past the fear that she might tattle to Escanor.

"You've definitely gone soft," Merlin grumbled as she sunk to the floor. "The fun's only just started. Just wait to see what me and Esta have planned for tonight."

"What…" But before Zeldris could ask his question, Ban muddled into the room, groaning slightly as he ran his hand through his hair and made his way to the kitchen. Merlin flashed Zeldris a wild grin, before running after Ban to pester him for a treat. _She'll get no joy there_. Zeldris was on the point of taking a seat at one of the tables when Estarossa strolled down the stairs, a languid smile curving over his face, Meliodas and Elizabeth following closely behind. Despite himself, Zeldris found himself bounding off the Boar Hat stool, eager for one of his eldest brother's morning hair ruffles. They were more than addictive. _If only this stopped with Mel and Elizabeth it would be really nice_ , he thought as Meliodas wandered over to him and pulled him into a hug, Zeldris wrapping his arms round Meliodas's neck in return.

"Do you have to all go, I mean all of you? Today?" Meliodas asked as he pulled away from Zeldris and turned to Elizabeth. "Surely someone can stay around to help me."

"Ban needs to go back to the Faerie King's forest to replenish the tree, and there's no way King will let that happen unless he's there from now on. You know what happened last time," Elizabeth said soothingly. "And Elaine needs to go and see Gerheade, and if she's going I have to. She's not well at the moment. I think she's over-exerting herself but she's determined to go."

"So why can't Diane stay? I don't understand…" Meliodas began, stopping abruptly as Elizabeth giggled.

"Well, if you must know King proposed to her last night, he wants to introduce her to his Clan," Elizabeth said, unable to contain her bubbling laughter. "He went brick red and had a nosebleed. I had to fix him up." Meliodas chuckled at this, his shoulders dropping as his posture relaxed.

"You'll help me out, won't you Zel?" Meliodas said with a smile as he turned to his youngest brother. "It's just me looking after the three of you tonight. I'll need someone responsible as my right hand man." Zeldris's chest puffed up slightly with this, and he stood to attention as Meliodas ruffled his hair again, ignoring the crude faces Estarossa was pulling behind Elizabeth's back.

* * *

The rest of the day passed smoothly enough. Zeldris kept trying to hear what Merlin and Estarossa were talking about but each time he got close they ended their hushed, whispered chats. Something was in the offing but he had no idea what. As three of them waved goodbye to the rest of the Sins as they left for the Faerie King's forest, Zeldris could not help but feel uneasy as his eldest brother's hand rested lightly on his head, the fingers weaving into his hair for a moment before they all headed inside. The sun was setting on the horizon, rosy fingers stretching over the land as day turned to night, lighting up the large barrel shape of the Boar Hat as the orb sunk below the skyline.

"We're not opening the bar today, so you guys can relax. Do whatever you want just don't make a mess you can't clean up yourselves and don't go outside. We're in a part of Britannia where there are wolves and I don't want you or them getting hurt, got it?" Meliodas stood in front of the three children, his hands on his hips, the habitual, easy-going smile nowhere to be seen. He looked like he meant business.

Estarossa and Merlin stood still, their faces blank and respectful as Meliodas headed back into the kitchen area to clean up the day's mess. Ban usually left everything spotless but the party had set off in a hurry and there were bits and pieces to clean up, as well as the evening meal to prepare. As soon as Meliodas has gone, Merlin's face broke out in an evil grin as she pulled a vial from her purple smock.

"Here you go, just slip this in the food and the fun will begin," Merlin cackled as she handed the test tube to Estarossa. "I'll distract him. Don't put the whole thing in, just a drop or two should do it. That will teach him to play favourites."

"No!" Zeldris cried as he tried to grab the mixture from Estarossa, who merely held it as high as he could in the air out of Zeldris's reach. "You can't. I won't let you."

"Spoil sport," Estarossa growled as he loomed over Zeldris, his shadow falling completely across the young demon's face. Zeldris was used to people being taller than him of course, but it usually didn't bother him. He just pressed into their personal space and let his power do the talking. But now, unarmed and with a combat class close to zero, the experience was frightening and he shrank back from his brother as Estarossa laughed.

"It's pretty harmless, Zeldris, promise. It's just a little potion to make Meliodas remember himself so he doesn't favour you the whole time," Merlin weedled, her voice soft and persuasive. "It won't hurt him. And you don't want Estarossa to be treated unfairly do you? We know it's not your fault but that's what's happening at the moment. You need to let this go, for the sake of both your brothers."

Hands clenched at his sides, Zeldris grit his teeth, not trusting Merlin's words but not seeing a way to break her argument. She was right; ever since Meliodas had comforted him after his breakdown, the pair of them had shared an understanding about what they had both been through, the knowledge binding them together in a way blood on its own could never manage. He supposed that Estarossa had missed out in consequence, and that maybe Merlin was right, it was not entirely fair. He forgot in that moment that the apparent difference in treatment was at least partly due to the variation in behaviour between himself and Estarossa. The latter had taken every opportunity to cause mischief while he had been as well-behaved as he could.

Before too long, Meliodas emerged from the kitchen carrying four bowls of soup, which Ban had left on the stove before heading off. It smelled delicious. As his brother set them down on the table, Zeldris watched Estarossa closely, noting the sly smirk on his round, childish face. He gasped audibly when Meliodas went back to the kitchen and Estarossa poured the entire contents of the vial into the soup sitting unguarded on the table. He grabbed Merlin's dress, but the witch ignored him, lost in contemplation as she looked out of the window. Zeldris's eyes followed hers and saw a shrunken Escanor approaching, his head bowed down as if in shame as he trudged slowly back to The Boar Hat. With a sigh of relief, Zeldris watched as Escanor entered the bar, pulling off his boots by the entrance. It would be good to have another responsible adult around and at night this man was fairly sensible.

On seeing Escanor, Meliodas (who had come back into the bar with some bread) gave a greeting before fetching him his own meal for the evening. Merlin immediately sidled up to the cowering man, working her way into his lap as he took his seat at one of the round, wooden tables. The man immediately beamed in delight, and let Merlin tell him all about her day, patting her head as she explained how she'd conducted an experiment that had gone well. Try as he might, Zeldris could not attract her attention.

"Alright everyone, dig in," Meliodas said cheerfully. Zeldris's eyes went wide, but before he could shout a warning Meliodas took a slurp of the soup. His eyes instantly widened, pupils and irises contracting dangerously as green burned to coal black. Estarossa laughed uncontrollably as Meliodas slipped to the floor, Zeldris running to his brother's side to stop his head from glancing painfully off the edge of the table.

"What did you do?" Merlin asked with urgency as she looked at the demon writhing in agony, his body contorted as he twisted about on the stone floor of the bar. Foam flew from his mouth in white globules as Zeldris screamed, doing his best to steady Meliodas as the convulsions continued. His mind whirled wildly, trying to match his reactions and get rid of the growing terror simultaneously, and he found himself feeling nauseous again, but he forced the feeling down and held on with a gasp. _Damnit, damnit, damnit-_

"You gave him the lot, didn't you!" Merlin yelled above the ruckus, as Meliodas cried out, eyes open but unseeing-as if he were trapped in a nightmare, as if he were reliving his worst memory and all they could do was watch helplessly. "I told you, only a few drops. Now he's in _real_ trouble."

As Estarossa opened his mouth in protest, Meliodas groaned loudly, his black eyes bulging slightly as his fists clenched by his sides. A snarl curled his lips, revealing unusually sharp teeth ( _fangs_ , why did he have fangs, Greater Demons weren't supposed to _have_ fangs) and a look of such terror and hate that fear bubbled up sickeningly in Zeldris's stomach. "No-stop! _Don't hurt her!"_ he roared, voice rising to a horrible shriek as he tried to stand, his legs giving way from under him and sending him crashing to the floor in a seething huddle of magic and rage. "One Thousand Divine Cuts!" he growled as he held up an imaginary weapon in front of him and lunged at the wall, knocking a hole through the stone even in his addled state, dust flying all around as he prepared for another strike. "Kill _me!_ I'm the one you want. Leave Elizabeth alone!"

"This is bad," Merlin said, her girlish face uncommonly serious and pale with...worry? Fear? Was she scared of-no, of _course_ she was. _You'd have to be insane not to be afraid of him,_ he thought, grasping at his brother's arm as Meliodas began hyperventilating and trying to hold him down, studiously ignoring his own rapid heartbeats. "He's reliving the battle with the two gods. He'll destroy the place unless I get him the antidote."

 ** _"So go get it then!"_ **Zeldris screamed, unintentionally switching to the ancient tongue as he rounded on Merlin, forgetting he was a child and a near-powerless one at that. Merlin understood most languages, including this one, but Zeldris switched back to the common tongue on taking in her slightly fearful expression. "You have _no idea_ what he's going through. Make it stop."

"I'm going to have to _make_ it," Merlin said grumpily-as if this was nothing more than an inconvenience, as if his brother living through _that_ again was just a minor annoyance. "Idiot features here was only supposed to give him a little bit. I had no idea we'd need the cure in a hurry."

"Um… you'd better do it quickly, Miss Merlin," Escanor stuttered as Meliodas smashed through the bar, blood pouring from his head where a splinter of wood had cut him badly, wide golden eyes tracking the Sin of Wrath's movements warily. Zeldris followed his gaze, resisting the urge to flinch as Meliodas let out a howl of rage and grief and slammed his knuckles into the wall (over and over, until they were split and bleeding, the bone nearly visible and the wooden walls were pound to dust). "I'll stay with The Captain."

At this Merlin ran up the stairs to her lab, Estarossa following closely behind. Unsure of what to do, Zeldris remained where he was, trying to work out what on earth he could possibly do or say to help Meliodas calm down, settling on tugging things away that he could hurt himself with (he'd dropped a clay canister by accident while trying to get to the knives and had nearly panicked himself upon seeing that Meliodas had grabbed a shard and squeezed it until his hand was bleeding deeply). Escanor looked equally perplexed, as he wandered around behind the raging mess of nerves, trying to coax him out of his nightmare.

All of a sudden, there was an almighty crash and Merlin flew down the stairs, pulling Estarossa along by the ear. "I _told_ you to be careful!" she said crossly. "That was my only jar of bats' wings. Now I'll have to go and get some more. _Boys._ Utterly useless creatures..." Zeldris would've protested, but he was preoccupied by a. his rampaging brother and b. the realization that Estarossa had done something, again, to mess things up. _Oh, no…_

"What?" Escanor asked, his face turning pale. "Are you saying…"

"Thanks to this fool," Merlin said as she gave Estarossa's ear a sharp tug, "I no longer have the four bats' wings I need for the antidote. I'm going to have to go catch some."

"Incompetence!" Zeldris snarled, beginning to feel himself in familiar territory. _Command. Command. Command_. "All of you are complete wastes of space. Four bats' wings, is it? Fine." With that, Zeldris summoned his darkness, pushing past the blockage which had prevented his efforts until now. He had been training in secret, frustrated with the lack of progress, but his brother's need was all the impetus he required. With great difficulty, he pushed the soft, warm material over his back, forming two small wings at his shoulder blades. Estarossa gasped as the wings settled into position, unfurling into a perfect aerodynamic shape.

"How come you can do that, I've been trying for weeks," Estarossa complained as he started enviously at his younger brother. "It's not fair. I'm older than you."

"It's perfectly fair. While you've been messing about with Merlin, planning this crap, I've been practicing. This is why I will always beat you at everything. Even if you're more accomplished you have no application," Zeldris said haughtily. This was more like it. He was a demon prince, leader of the Ten Commandments, born to rule. And he would fix this mess and save Meliodas from Merlin's nightmare.

With a few beats of his wings, unsteady at first then increasingly confident, Zeldris rose into the air and flew from The Boar Hat. How hard could it be to catch four flying rats? Pretty hard, as he soon discovered; there were a number of the creatures out hunting for insects but they were fast, well-prepared and not easy to grab in mid-air, particularly when his wings refused to behave themselves and kept sending him in unintended directions. It took a lot practice but eventually Zeldris caught a couple of specimens, wrapping tendrils of darkness around their mouths to prevent them from nipping his fingers as he clutched at their warm, fury bodies. They felt so soft, and Zeldris felt a momentary flash of guilt has he sped them back to The Boar Hat. It did not seem a fair way for their lives to end, but if it meant saving his brother, he'd kill a thousand of the things.

In the bar, things had gone from bad to worse. Meliodas was in an extremely dangerous condition and Zeldris felt bile rise in his throat when he saw that his beloved brother had torn out chunks of his own hair, and was eating the skin which clung to the roots. He had scratched his arms raw, blood trailing down his limbs as he thrashed on the floor, preventing anyone from coming close enough to restrain him. The panic in the air was palpable.

As soon as Zeldris landed. Merlin grabbed the bats and headed upstairs, glowering at Estarossa when he tried to go after her. The silver-haired boy was in tears, visibly trembling as he looked at the carnage of his surroundings. Zeldris felt a slight stab of pity, before remembering whose fault this was in the first place, at which point the sympathy died in his breast. He would make Estarossa pay later.

No more than a minute or two passed before Merlin ran down the stairs, another vial in hand, this one glowing bright green. The liquid in the test tube cast an eerie glow over the room, picking out the damage caused in sharp relief. With absolutely no fear on her features, Merlin walked over to Meliodas and thrust the test tube between his teeth, forcing him to gulp down the contents. Tense seconds passed, Zeldris staring in desperation until Meliodas collapsed on the floor, his marks shrinking to skin and his limbs falling like wood around him. He was safe. Zeldris wanted to scream at Merlin, but his throat was too tight, tears of relief and anger prickling the back of his eyes.

"That is quite enough of that," a cold voice sounded and Zeldris looked round, surprised and startled to see that the words had come from Escanor of all people. "Merlin, I am extremely disappointed in you, and you Estarossa. You will clean this place up immediately while I get The Captain upstairs. I want this place looking exactly like it was before Elizabeth gets home. If it is still a mess in the morning, I will let my day self deal with you. Is that understood?"

Merlin and Estarossa went pale, and immediately started to clean up The Boar Hat, Merlin's magic making short work of the more extensive damage. In response to a nod from Escanor, Zeldris hurried over to his brother, and tried to help the man pick Meliodas up off the ground. But Escanor was too weak; try as he might he did not have the strength. With a guilty look, Escanor went off to get a pillow and blankets while Zeldris watched as his brother's chest, drenched in sweat, rose and fell in what looked to be a mercifully peaceful sleep. He had no intention of leaving Meliodas's side until Elizabeth was back and could heal him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: In Which Elizabeth Saves The Day (For Like The Seventeenth Time)**

Elizabeth silently vowed never to leave Meliodas alone with Merlin or Estarossa ever again. She wasn't sure that she even trusted them enough to leave Zeldris alone with them, for that matter-no, wait, she _definitely_ didn't. Try though she might to deny it to herself, the youngest of the "Three Great Evil Stars" had become dear to her in a way that even she wasn't sure how to handle. For the first time, she understood how her father felt when she'd gone out climbing trees and trying to fight monsters with borrowed kitchen knives-completely, utterly _terrified_ for this small creature that was worth more than almost anything in the world.

The trip to the Forest had gone well. The faeries had welcomed her as a friend of their King's and the Giant Queen's, Elaine had been proclaimed as "healthy" (except Elizabeth felt that was mainly to calm Ban's rapidly fraying nerves; she'd never seen the man so on edge) but she was still fragile physically and had been asked to stay in the Forest as the raw vitality of it would "do her good". She'd accepted the offer and had simultaneously managed to get Ban to return to the Boar Hat. Diane had been welcomed with open arms and a group of faeries had immediately suggested crowning her the Faerie Queen as well as ruler of the Giant Clan-which, of course, had made King blush like mad and Diane laugh but politely turn down the crown. "I'm just happy to be with Harlequin," she'd chirped, before kissing the sputtering Sin of Sloth on the cheek. It had been warm and bright and, quite frankly, _beautiful_.

And then she'd returned to find that everything had gone to hell in her absence. Zeldris was sitting next to an unconscious, bloody Meliodas on the floor of the bar, jaw set, teeth clenched and shoulders shaking. He'd told her, his voice perfectly calm, his face a practiced mask of blank disinterest, what Merlin and Estarossa had done, what Meliodas had done to himself, how he'd had to take charge in order to keep everyone together. His voice had wavered, catching a bit when he told her how Meliodas had scratched his arms raw and split his knuckles until the bone was visible through clotted scarlet. Elizabeth only noticed the scratches on Zeldris's own hands and arms after he finished speaking, after his breathing grew shallower with the effort of trying not to cry, the blood trickling down his cheek as if something, someone had grazed it-and fury rose up in her, at Merlin for having the idea, at Estarossa for executing it, at Escanor for not doing enough to protect her boys, at herself for not being there to keep them safe.

 _My boys._ The words felt right, somehow; Meliodas's heart belonged to her and hers to him, and Zeldris had somehow captured her soul in an entirely different manner. They were hers to protect, to keep safe and hold. And she _hadn't been there._

She forced back the tears that threatened now, taking a deep breath as she twined her fingers around Meliodas's limp ones, dried blood scraping under her fingers. Zeldris's breathing, harsh and shallow and rapid, filled her ears, the kind of fear that only erupted after being pushed down and painted over and tied in shadow radiating off of him. _Panic._ Raw, distinct panic that this child had hidden because he'd had someone to protect. She could feel his heartbeats echoing in her ears, a wild thumping laid over Meliodas's steady seven pulses. "Come here," she murmured, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him into her side. He buried his face in her shoulder, the low, keening sound of barely-muffled sobs ringing in her ears as she wrapped pure healing magic around them, letting her eyes drift closed. She rested her chin on his head and opened her eyes, staring blankly at the wall as she held them together. _Protect,_ her instincts seemed to whisper. _Protect, protect, protect, protect…_

And on and on the whispers went, until the words rose to a roar and Zeldris's sobs quieted. Elizabeth lifted a hand and ran her fingers gently through his hair, before rising to her feet, reluctantly releasing Meliodas's hand. Dried, rust-brown blood had flaked off his arms and onto her hands, but she ignored it. It would wash off-always did. The stain of what Merlin and Estarossa had done would be far harder to remove. Small fingers tightened around her other hand, dark eyes hollow with exhaustion and wet with tears staring up at her as if she might hold some hidden key to everything. _I wish I did,_ she thought helplessly. _Gods, if only I did._ She lifted Zeldris in her arms and started towards the stairs, mind fixed on that one sanctuary-on the safety of the room she shared with Meliodas.

"No-" Zeldris's words snapped her out of the dull trance, and she cast him a worried look as he reached over her shoulder with a shuddering gasp. "No-don't wanna leave him, please, Elizabeth-"

"I'll bring him up in a moment," she assured him softly, halting on the first step. "You both need to rest."

His red-rimmed eyes widened, a protest rising on his lips. "But-"

" _Zeldris_." She started up the stairs again, ignoring the protests of her travel-weary muscles as she reached the top, tightening her grip slightly as she passed Merlin's door. _I'll deal with her later._ "You did an amazing thing today, stepped up when no one else did. And I know," she went on, grief thundering in her heart at the thought, "that you're used to that, but...you're also five years old, now. Some things are too much, and forcing yourself to go on after what you've done is one of those things." She fumbled for the doorknob as she reached the familiar door, the small sign with her name and Meliodas's on it, her looping script next to his untidy scrawl. "It's nearly midnight, too. You're not suited to staying awake for long periods of time like this, not in this state." Elizabeth managed to twist it open, giving a mental cry of victory as she slipped into the comforting, familiar darkness. She set him down on the bed carefully, ruffling his hair gently. "Get some rest," she instructed. "Meliodas and I will be up in a bit."

He twined his fingers together in his lap, ducking his head. "...Promise?"

That one word, so hesitant and hopeful and yet _hurt,_ broke her heart. "Promise," she whispered, before turning, closing the door gently behind her. She leaned against the wall and sighed, hitting the back of her head against it. _Fuck._ Her gaze drifted to Merlin's door and she gritted her teeth. _I may actually kill her._ She could feel the temptation, swirling within her with her deadliest magic. An orb of light danced around her fingers, and she knew it contained enough power to destroy the lab Merlin loved so much.

 _But I'm not that person._ Elizabeth let the light evaporate, let it vanish into the air with another sigh. _And I won't do that to a comrade, no matter how ill-advised her decisions._ She shook her head before stalking back down the hall, hurrying down the steps. The others would be returning soon; she'd left early when it had become apparent that Elaine wasn't returning to the Boar Hat for awhile, but they'd promised to be right behind her, and they'd never broken a promise to her yet. And she-for Meliodas's sake, for Zeldris's and even the two _idiots_ who'd caused all this-wasn't going to let them come home to a world in shatters.

Her boots-she'd forgotten to take them off, to exchange them for the soft slippers she normally wore around the Boar Hat; she was still dressed for travel and her muscles were taut with that strange anticipation of adventure-clacked on the wood as she descended, the sound resounding off the battered walls of the place that had become her home. Green eyes flashed in the darkness, bloodshot and shadowed. "Meliodas," she breathed, and stepped closer.

"You're alive." His voice was choked, his eyes glittering with unshed tears. "You're _alive."_

"I'm alive," she agreed quietly, dropping to her knees in front of him. His eyes were wild, almost feral in his panic, and Elizabeth felt pain twist her insides as she grabbed his hand, bringing it over her heart. She willed him to feel the steady beat, to realize that he was here with her and not in the past, holding a long-dead goddess whose memories she shared. _I'm here. I will always be here, even when I'm nothing but a whisper on the wind. For you, I will be eternal._

"Elizabeth," he gasped, and then she was being pulled into a tight hug, his arms trembling as shadows danced nervously around them, subconsciously called upon by Meliodas's power. _Lord of Darkness indeed,_ she thought to herself. "Did I-are they-"

As always, she knew what he was talking about, _who_ he was talking about. "They're safe," she murmured. "Zeldris is a little shaken, but I took care of his wounds. There weren't many-just some scrapes and bruises." She immediately cursed herself-why would she _say_ that, knowing what the two of them had suffered at their father's hands? There was no way that Meliodas wouldn't blame himself. Sure enough, his breath hitched in his lungs and Elizabeth closed her eyes, resting her hand over where his heart would be if he were human. "Estarossa is fine," she rushed on, feeling a prick of guilt for not actually checking to see if he was okay and vowing to do so later. "Merlin is too."

There was a shaky exhale, and he stood. She rose as well, spinning light in her hand to illuminate the shadowy room, unintentionally casting his battered face in sharp relief. Elizabeth winced, sending the light up into the lanterns that normally lit the bar as Meliodas stretched his arms, clearly trying to disguise the way they trembled. "Thank the gods. I...I'll be up after I clean-"

"Oh, _hell_ no." Elizabeth wasn't really sure why the words had enraged her so, but she drew herself up to her full height, blue eyes sharp and cutting as steel. "They might be fine, but _you_ aren't. We can fix the bar up properly in the morning when the others get home. You, you stubborn _fool,_ are going to get some sleep."

He blinked at her, wide green eyes gleaming with shock. "But-"

 _He sounds exactly like Zeldris,_ she thought, and the realization gave her some much-needed amusement. "I will knock you out and carry you up there myself, so help me," she declared, planting her hands on her hips.

There was a tiny huff of laughter, one that was choked down as soon as it was formed. "I'd like to see you try," he retorted, and she grinned-because _this,_ this was _new._ They'd never been able to bicker and compete before, except in previous lives, because she hadn't learned to fight until recently and he'd been too worried about triggering the curse to try. It was _fun,_ mocking him and knowing that he wouldn't take it seriously, that he'd retort right back and that they _could_ because they no longer had to hide everything from one another.

"Need I remind you of a certain _slap?"_

His grin was genuine this time-shaky, but genuine. "Alright, I'm going, jeez. Anything but the slap!"

Elizabeth laughed, relieved, before herding him up the stairs. He shook his head at her, but went willingly (thank the gods; she wasn't sure how she'd handle it if he went catatonic), opening the door to their room. "Oh," he whispered as she slipped in after them, shooting her a worried glance. _Looks like he's seen Zeldris._ She peered over his shoulder and stifled a squeal. The youngest prince's tiny body was curled around a pillow, one small hand grasping nothing in particular, knuckles just barely grazing the headboard. _That kind of cuteness should be illegal._ "Do you think…"

"I trust you, Meliodas," she declared sternly, giving him a gentle push towards the bed; he stumbled forwards with a yelp, clearly caught off guard, and landed next to his youngest brother. "And he trusts you." Elizabeth pulled off her boots, sighing with relief as she sat down on the other side of the bed and slung her coat over the peg on the wall, stretching. It was a lucky thing that the tunic and leggings she'd worn were comfortable, because she was exhausted and had absolutely _zero_ intention of changing. "Sleep," she breathed, seeing wide green eyes peering at her worriedly. _Sleep. Breathe. Remember where you are, who you are, who we are._ She reached over Zeldris, interlocking his fingers with hers. "I love you."

Green eyes softened, crinkling in a smile that she couldn't see but knew was there all the same. "I love you too."

Elizabeth waited until his eyes drifted closed, until his breathing slowed, before exhaling softly and letting her own shut too. _Things can only get better._

* * *

A week passed, and as for things getting better, well… Elizabeth was an optimist at heart, but even she was starting to worry.

Okay, scratch that. She was _extremely_ concerned about the increasingly bizarre dynamic between Meliodas and the "children", two of whom were beginning to act more like their physical ages than she expected. Despite retaining all their memories and the core of their personalities, Zeldris and Estarossa seemed to be mentally regressing-at least partly-to match their current ages, though she really only had one person to test the theory (she was starting to sound like Merlin; this was _definitely_ bad) against. They rarely saw Estarossa anymore, the middle brother locking himself in his room and rarely coming out for anything, even food. Whenever he did, he seemed exhausted, with shadowed, red-rimmed eyes and an appetite far too small to be healthy, and he distinctly avoided speaking with anyone. Meliodas kept trying to bridge the growing gap between them, but any attempt to do so resulted in Estarossa retreating even further.

Meanwhile, Zeldris was oddly jumpy and clingier than normal, and his absolute hatred for Merlin was palpable, seen in the smoldering black-eyed glares that tracked her every movement, in the wisps of uncontrolled darkness that wrapped protectively around whoever he was with at the moment. Merlin, of course, didn't care at all, didn't seem to be bothered by the events or even contrite. She'd given a blase apology before going right back to causing mischief, albeit at a slightly less extreme level (though that was mainly because no one would partake in pranks with her anymore). Everyone else seemed to be tiptoeing around this weird situation, and even Elizabeth wasn't sure how to patch this...whatever it was back together. _A family?_ She knew Meliodas considered the Sins his family and she had come to do the same, but with the addition of his brothers, everything had seemed sort of...off-kilter and _weird._

 _And this happens right as everyone's starting to pull together,_ she thought crossly, pouring herself a mug of coffee and staring out at the dawn. She'd woken early that morning, unable to sleep from trying to puzzle out the conundrum that was their current situation. The bar was closed for today, so she had no way to take her mind off of things, and Ban had...well, banned her from the kitchen after she and Meliodas had set it on fire trying to boil water. "I think that was quite an improvement for us," she muttered to herself. "Last time we almost flooded the place. A little bit of fire builds _character_ , that's what I say." She downed the coffee, feeling a bit better as she swallowed the scalding liquid. "The scorch-marks even washed out," she went on, eyeing the stove wistfully. "So no harm done."

She drummed her fingers on the table absently, before snorting with derision. _And I'm talking to myself now. Fantastic._ She eyed the stove for a moment before before sighing. "I'm a fucking princess," she declared, lifting her chin and grinning ruefully at the taste of the curse on her tongue. It wasn't long ago that she'd never dreamed of swearing, but...well, spending several months ( _years_ now; she could scarcely believe it) around mouths like Meliodas's and Ban's could rub off on a girl. "Your orders have been overridden, Sin of Greed. I'm making…" She frowned, stalking over to the pantry and opening it. _Not much left…_ "Potatoes," she decided aloud, pulling a few free of the bag on the floor. "Mashed potatoes. Easy and delicious-"

"G'morning," a sleepy voice mumbled, and she felt a soft smile overtake her face as a small body pressed against her side. She knelt, giving Zeldris a quick hug before eyeing the potatoes thoughtfully. He stood on his toes, blinking those dark eyes at the root vegetables as though they held the secrets of the universe. "I thought Ban said you couldn't cook."

"I _can_ cook _,"_ Elizabeth said crossly. "Just not well." Zeldris giggled at that, before clapping his hand over his mouth, eyes widening. She glanced at him, smiling at the surprise on his face. _I think that's the first time he's laughed like that in a while. Definitely the first time I've heard it._ "But I guess sneaking into the kitchen behind his back isn't a good idea," she went on. "So let's keep it a secret between us, hm? Don't tell him-or King, because King's awful at keeping other people's secrets."

"I won't," he said loyally, and she ruffled his hair with a small smile, scooping up the potatoes and returning them before leading him out of the kitchen. Merlin was already waiting there, golden eyes glittering. Instantly Zeldris's eyes turned as hard and cold as chips of ice, teeth bared as a growl, barely human, barely even _demonic,_ rolled forth from his throat. _This can only end badly,_ Elizabeth realized, and she stepped between them swiftly.

"Zeldris, why don't you play outside for a bit? I'll see if Diane will go exploring with you," she suggested. "Maybe you'll find another Black Hound for Oslo to play with?"

The youngest demon prince gave her a look that said he knew _precisely_ what she was doing-it had gotten to the point where she sometimes forgot that he was only five in the physical sense-but he huffed anyway and complied, pulling the stick that served as a sword from the umbrella stand and hurrying out the door. To his credit, he didn't slam it on his way out, though it was closed with worrying force. Elizabeth sighed, pushing her bangs out of her eyes more from habit than anything; they'd grown back after the war, but even then she hadn't been able to stop herself from running her fingers through the shorn locks. "Merlin, what are you doing here? You normally don't come downstairs until nine o'clock at least. It's barely-" she glanced at the clock on the wall- "seven-fifteen."

Merlin shrugged. "Sore throat. Decided to make some tea. Don't worry, though-Ban said he'd watch to make sure I don't burn anything."

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes. She knew the gleam in that golden gaze all-too well. That was the look she got before Merlin did something reckless, stupid, experimental, or all three. But she couldn't _see_ a lie anywhere in there, and she _had_ been coughing recently… "Be careful," she warned, and they both knew she was referring to more than the hot water.

"Trust me." Merlin's eyes glowed, luminous with mischief and glee. "I know what I'm doing."

And that- _that_ was probably the _least_ trustworthy thing she'd ever heard the Sin of Gluttony say, but she fixed her in a knife-sharp stare before spinning on her heel and following Zeldris outside. He had a tendency to wander, and Elizabeth didn't need a heart attack right now, especially not one from losing a demon prince who was generally despised by the masses.

Things ran smoothly onwards for about an hour more, and Elizabeth was glad for the chance to pretend at normalcy, following Zeldris and Oslo as they explored the nearby woods. Oslo hadn't liked the newcomers at all at first, but after Elaine and King had shown a modicum of trust towards the former Commandments, he'd followed suit. He'd even taken a shine to Zeldris, and now accompanied him whenever he went exploring.

Elizabeth followed them now, eventually arming herself with a stick and acting as a dastardly villain that he and the Black Hound "vanquished" together, the two of them pretending to fight over a particularly picturesque stream with flowers all around it until they were both giggling and stumbling into the water over and over. She picked herself up after one such fall with a laugh, figuring she'd tell Meliodas about it, and maybe they could find a way to drag Estarossa out of his room long enough for a picnic. Or maybe he'd go with King and Diane instead of Meliodas; after all, he was chiefly avoiding herself and the Sin of Wrath. She shook off the thought, raising the branch with a yell. "Aha! I have you now, hero!"

"Get her, Oslo!" Elizabeth let out a mock wail as the Black Hound tackled her-surprisingly carefully-to the ground, Zeldris tapping her throat gently with the stick. "I win," he crowed, bouncing on his toes gleefully. "I would _totally_ have beaten you in the war, too, if we'd ever gone head to head."

 _I doubt it,_ she thought, her competitive spirit stirring, but she beat it down and grinned at him. "Perhaps." It was good to see him like this-bright and beaming and genuinely _happy,_ no longer subdued by habit or cloaked in rage, and it was probably good _for_ him, too. "Should we-"

A shrill scream, a _howl,_ echoed through the forest and she stiffened, eyes widening as magic sparked around her fingers instinctively. Zeldris had flinched at the noise, eyes growing wide with fear that she knew he'd never admit to. _The Boar Hat,_ she realized, fingers curling into fists. _It's coming from the Boar Hat._ "Stay close me," she called over her shoulder. "Oslo, guard him." A bark of affirmation came from the beast-like faerie, and she started stalking back towards the Boar Hat. Luckily, they hadn't wandered far- _more like in a circle,_ she thought absently-from home, the familiar tankard-shaped tavern coming into view as she burst free of the undergrowth. She skidded to a halt as she reached the door, throwing it open and darting in-

And she froze.

Meliodas spun on his heel, eyes wide and face pale with horror. In his arms he held a child-a toddler, no more than three-with familiar red eyes and spiky white-blue hair. Merlin was perched on the banister, eyes glittering with a savage glee, and Estarossa was pressed against the wall, black eyes huge with...not _fear_ , but something else, something she couldn't place. A broken cup leaked tea onto the ground, and the toddler's face was wet with tears, a hand clamped over his mouth as if to stifle another wail.

 _"Merlin,"_ Elizabeth hissed, her gaze drifting to the hovering Sin of Gluttony.

Meliodas nodded, still holding the toddler _-Ban-_ as though he were made of glass. "Merlin," he agreed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: In Which Estarossa Would Really Like To Go Home (But he Doesn't Exactly Know Where Home Is)**

The magic of de-aging someone was a sight to behold. Having happened to him in his sleep, Estarossa had no idea how the transformation actually worked; what changed first and how or how it felt. He knew it could not have been particularly painful otherwise he would have woken up, but apart from that he was clueless. To see Ban, a man even taller than himself when at his physical peak, shrink in all directions, his bored, haggard face melting into that of a cute little boy as he was surrounded by a soft golden light was nothing short of a miracle. For several seconds, Estarossa stared at the tiny human who was barely more than a toddler, excitement and resentment running through his veins-that is, before Ban howled in anguish and jumped unceremoniously into Meliodas's arms.

 _No doubt I'll get the blame for all this, as usual, even though it's all Merlin's fault_ , the young demon thought sulkily. He should have stayed in his room like always, brooding over the injustice of Elizabeth and Meliodas's anger towards him. How was he to know that over-doing the dose of whatever that stuff was that Merlin had made would make his brother go _that_ crazy? He was not _stupid._ Despite whatever Zeldris thought he had a perfect understanding of what it meant to be face-to-face with their father's disapproval; he just did his best not to show it. Easier to pretend those encounters had never happened than confront them head on. That didn't mean he had somehow miraculously escaped that particular horror for all of his three hundred and eighty years. However angry he was with this ridiculous situation (why had he been chucked out of the Demon Realm anyway? He could understand the new Queen not wanting Zeldris around but for fuck's sake she _owed_ him. Living with the Sins was a nightmare) he would never want either of his brothers to relive that particular horror.

Ban was crying. Loudly. The sound ripped through The Boar Hat like a banshee's wail, tearing at his ears. He couldn't stand crying, never had been able to stomach it. Merlin of course was cackling with glee, her golden eyes sparkling with mirth. Had she not learned her lesson by now? He supposed that maybe this was partly his fault; by refusing to play with her he had forced her to look for another companion though getting rid of the bar's only decent cook was possibly the most selfish thing the witch had ever done.

When Elizabeth rushed in, her blue and orange eyes piercing into him as if searching his very soul, Estarossa felt even more cross than he had done for the past week. He could see the initial assumption of his guilt in Elizabeth's features, her lips pursed and fingers glowing white as she summoned her powers. It was only on seeing Merlin's ever-cheeky expression that Elizabeth switched her gaze to the witch, and Estarossa could feel himself breathe once more, the blood pounding in his temple as his hearts lurched into action. _Maybe she'll get punished on her own this time._

Estarossa felt his hearts soar as Elizabeth rounded on Merlin, clearly and correctly pinning the blame completely on her for once. "Go to your room, now!" Elizabeth thundered, her eyes glowing with the silver symbol of her clan. "I will come and see you later. Until then, you need to have a good, hard think about what you've done." Merlin pouted, but obeyed, trudging up the stairs of The Boar Hat, tromping her feet as she went. _No punishment at all, she'll only get lost in another experiment._

"Ban?" Elizabeth said softly as she sidled up to the small child who was still clinging to Meliodas's baggy shirt with both fists. "It's alright. We'll find a way out of this."

"Elizabeth! I couldn't wait anymore, it's started to rain. What…" As Zeldris and Oslo ran into the bar, both shaking off droplets of water onto the cobbled, stone floor, Zeldris's black eyes went wide as he stared hard at Ban. Estarossa could see the emotions working on Zeldris's face ( _ha, he's completely forgotten how to control himself since becoming a child_ ) and sniggered when it appeared that jealousy was about to win the day. _Now you'll have to share your beloved Meliodas you suck up,_ Estarossa thought without any hint of irony, completely forgetting the way he had followed his elder brother around like a sheep the first time around. It was with great astonishment that he saw the envy vanish from Zeldris's features to be replaced with something wholly familiar and completely unexpected.

"You want to play with my toys?" Zeldris asked kindly as he walked closer to Ban. "Come on, I'll show you. You'll like them." Ban stared at the demon for several seconds, lips quivering, wiping his dripping nose on the back of his hand, before jumping down from Meliodas's arms. Zeldris held out his hand, and Estarossa was more than a little surprised to see the tiny boy take it willingly before he let himself be led up the stairs of The Boar Hat, Zeldris coaxing him as they went. _He's looking out for him. In what way is that fair? Who does that human think he is?_

"Stay away from my stuff, okay?" Estarossa yelled as the two children disappeared from view. He felt annoyed and dejected, as if he had somehow failed at something but did not quite know what. The more he thought about it, the more upset he became. Why did he always let Zeldris take the initiative? His younger brother was not much more than a fledgling for goodness sake; he was the elder, he should be in charge.

"What are we going to do Meliodas? We can't keep this up. What if Merlin turns us into kids next?" Elizabeth asked fretfully and Estarossa seethed. She had obviously completely forgotten he was there.

"I don't know," Meliodas held his head in his hands, his stubby fingers running through the messy locks. "This is… a nightmare. It was bad enough before but now…"

 _Bad enough before huh? Well I didn't want to be here either, you shit. None of this is_ FAIR. With a huff of disgust, Estarossa ran outside into the rain, not caring at all that the freezing cold droplets found their way under the collar of his jacket or that the wind whipped his already messy hair into a tangled matt. He needed to get away from all _this_. Perhaps if he begged the Queen for forgiveness… He could not stay here anymore with two brothers he barely recognised and a bunch of irritating do-gooders that was for sure. It was just so _unnatural._

"What are you doing?" came a flat voice on the wind and Estarossa whipped round, trying to locate the source of the sound. He scanned the horizon, but no, there was nothing. The rain was pelting down in steady hard drops; even the hardy folk of Britannia, used to the almost perpetually inclement weather of the verdant but soggy land, were giving this particular storm a miss. Even the animals had taken shelter: there was no living thing to be seen for miles around.

"Up here," the voice called again and Estarossa gazed into the trees, finally catching a flash of pink among the leaves. His curiosity piqued, he climbed the tree next to the Boar Hat, making easy work of the wide, tall oak which must be decades old. In just a few moments, he was face to face with the disembodied voice, and was surprised to see it was none other than his comrade of old: Gowther's doll.

"I was wondering when you would come to me. You have been slower than I expected," Gowther said carefully, his voice and expression as usual showing absolutely no emotion. "You have been finding it difficult to be here. You should have asked for my help sooner."

"What can you do, traitor?" Estarossa spat, forgetting that he was only eight years old and that the War was finally over. He had missed the doll, more than he would ever care to admit and the addition of Fraudrin to the ranks of the Commandments, as if in compensation, had irked him considerably.

"I know you are not finding living here easy," Gowther explained, his amber eyes examining Estarossa minutely. "That is why you are moping and misbehaving. I can understand your predicament. You are angry with Zeldris for the act which got the two of you banished, you are livid with Meliodas and Elizabeth for offering a home you do not want but know that you need and you are furious with yourself for not being able to make friends with the others, even though deep down that is what you really want." Estarossa felt his legs give way and he sat down hard on the branch of the tree, scraping the palms of his hands on the rough bark. The pain was almost welcome; anything to distract himself from the truth of Gowther's words.

"So where have _you_ been then?" Estarossa said sulkily, "I haven't seen you since we got here. Why haven't you…"

"I wanted you to make the transition on your own, just as Zeldris has done." At this, Gowther gestured to the window of the adjacent Boar Hat which gave a view into Zeldris's room. Estarossa felt a growl of irritation rise in his throat as he saw his brother making what appeared to be a paper aeroplane for the younger boy, Ban jumping up and down in excitement and clapping his hands in delight. The expression of joy on his brother's face, his pure enjoyment at having some responsibility even if just over a tiny human child, was more than Estarossa could take. "But you evidently need some help," Gowther continued. "That is why I have come out of the attic. It is time to put an end to this nonsense."

Estarossa steeled himself to ask the question no one else would be able to answer. Now the doll had his memories back, he would have an insight into the demon realm not even Meliodas could call on. "Gowther, do you think… will Derieri…"

"No. You have burned your bridges with the Queen. She will never forgive you," the doll replied. "This is the penalty you face for being an ass."

"But I didn't _do anything_ ," Estarossa whined, clenching his hands into fists. "It was all Zeldris's fault. I…"

"He may have been the one who committed the act of treason, but the Queen is not angry with you over that," Gowther intoned. "It was your constant teasing of her and Monspeet when you were in the Demon Realm which has sealed your fate. You never made any effort to make friends with the others, and were quite happy to kill your comrades to suit your own purposes. You should have known that once your father was gone your welcome there would be limited with the way you have behaved."

Estarossa was silent, reflecting on the truth of Gowther's words. The doll was right he supposed. He had indeed tried to kill Derieri and Monspeet to retrieve their decrees. Well, how was he supposed to know that just _asking_ for them would be enough? He still could not believe the pair had just handed their power over to Zeldris when he had made the request, nor that the information that Meliodas was after the decrees was what had swayed the two warriors. None of it made any sense.

"You are making the same mistakes here," Gowther added, his eyes fixed on Estarossa. "The Sins are good people. You are throwing away your one chance at happiness by making yourself disagreeable."

"It's not me, it's Merlin," Estarossa protested. "All this has been her idea. It's not…"

"You have to stop focusing on what is and what is not fair," Gowther said sternly. "And you know well it is not all Merlin's doing. You have been plotting mischief with her for weeks. I agree these latest pranks have been of her making only but you set the tone. You let your anger and resentment mar your chances of fitting in with the others."

"Come on, it is time I put a stop to this," Gowther said in response to Estarossa's silence. "Follow me." At this Gowther picked up the book which had lain on the branch next to him and started to climb up the tree, the branches barely bending under the pressure from his lithe frame. Estarossa followed him easily, for once thankful of his return to the small stature he had so despised as he and Gowther made their way up the tree. At the very topmost point, a slender branch, barely more than a twig, snaked its way to the top of the barrel-shaped bar. Gowther walked along it expertly, like a master tightrope walker, Estarossa clumsily following behind. Once atop of the bar, Gowther propelled himself through a window, the demon climbing into the opening more carefully behind him.

The room Estarossa found himself in was absolutely stuffed full of books. Tomes lined all of the walls as well as forming piles on the table and floor. The spines were worn, showing that they had been read many times. The whole place smelled slightly musty, like dust and parchment. It was a bit like the library in his father's castle back home and for the first time since setting foot in The Boar Hat Estarossa felt somewhat comfortable.

"It is time Merlin put this mess right," Gowther said, his amber eyes gleaming. "My magic is strong but it is not enough to undo her spells. I think I have a way to persuade her however." At this, Gowther headed out of the door and down the stairs towards Merlin's lab, Estarossa eagerly following behind. _Now she'll finally get published, and I'll get to see it._

On reaching the door to the lab, Gowther pushed the door open without knocking. The sight of the many jars of ingredients, the test tubes sitting in racks and the acrid smell emanating from the odd bubbling mixture in the caldron which sat atop a crackling, green fire was enough to make Estarossa's hearts race with stress. The lab looked just like it had that night when he had inadvertently smashed that jar of bats' wings, causing Merlin to pull him down the stairs painfully by the ear. Gowther stepped confidently into the room as Estarossa shrank back into the shadows: the doll was an incredible foe but Merlin was an extremely dangerous opponent.

"Merlin, you will change Ban, Zeldris and Estarossa back into adults," the doll intoned, his eyes obscured by his glasses which shone green in the light of the fire. Gowther's youthful face gave no sign of fear even though Estarossa felt himself quaking.

"Shan't," Merlin giggled as she stepped into the light of the fire, her long, glossy black hair also glowing in the emerald light. She had never looked more like a witch. "You stay out of this Gowther, or you'll be sorry."

"Then you leave me no choice. Jack!" Gowther cried. The room suddenly dulled, the bright verdant fire now burning with a muddy light as the silhouette of the doll stood proud in the relative dark. "You no longer have control of your own body. I will make you use Absolute Cancel and undo this wrong."

"I don't think so," Merlin's voice floated through the gloom and as the fire burned more brightly Estarossa could make out the shape of a bright pink cube. _She protected herself! Even Gowther could not attack her_ , the thought, in awe in spite of himself. _Now that is impressive._

"Now it's my turn," Merlin giggled and Estarossa flinched as a soft golden light surrounded the doll, engulfing his whole form which shimmered and then, suddenly, began to shrink. Gowther's arms were pulled into his body, his torso sinking to the floor as his legs slowly shortened, his head growing smaller and Merlin cackled with laughter as the glasses fell from his face.

"What the hell is going on?" yelled a familiar voice as Meliodas and Elizabeth ran into the lab. Estarossa peeked up into his brother's face and he was shocked to see his elder sibling, the leader he had always admired, the fearsome _weapon,_ looking as if he were close to collapsing, and Elizabeth did not look much better. Both of them stared in horror at the small, little Gowther, barely more than three feet high as he picked up his now oversized glasses from the wooden floor.

"Merlin!" Meliodas yelled, his forehead pulsing black as he rounded on the small girl, who suddenly looked pretty scared. "I have had enough. We have been friends for millennia, and despite all of this I care about you, but I swear if you do not make this right you will leave The Boar Hat. Today. And I will tell Arthur what you have done so don't expect to go crying to him. You have gone too far this time."

At this, Merlin burst into tears and Estarossa found himself flinching _again_. How many more people were going to cry today, for fuck's sake? He was on the point of complaining when Elizabeth rushed to the girl, scooping her up in her arms and cooing softly to her, Merlin's sobs quieting as she did so.

"Shush, it's alright," Elizabeth said comfortingly, her back to Meliodas as she crouched on the floor holding the girl in her arms. "He doesn't mean it. We are both disappointed with your behaviour but you always have a home here. We love you."

Merlin took a few audible gulps, squeezing the goddess tight, her tiny hands pulling at her comforter's clothes. "You promise?" she squeaked out, burying her face into Elizabeth's shoulder.

"I promise," Elizabeth murmured, holding Merlin even closer to her. She completely missed the look of wicked triumph which the girl shot over her shoulder towards Meliodas, the satisfaction in her face more than palpable. Estarossa looked up at his brother, who had his hand on Gowther's head, and was not at all surprised to see that Meliodas's left eye was twitching uncontrollably as a vein pulsed angrily in his neck. Merlin may be powerful, but she was playing a dangerous game.

"Um… shall I… take Gowther downstairs to play with Zeldris and Ban?" the small demon asked tentatively. "I think we can keep them amused until lunch." Estarossa felt his hearts soar as Meliodas looked at him gratefully, the tension in his brother's features softening appreciably as he did so.

"Yes… please. That… you are very kind. Thank you Estarossa," Meliodas said with relief and Estarossa felt his chest puff up with pride as his brother ruffled his hair as he went out of the door.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: In Which Love Is Recalled (And Pain With It)**

To say that things got better post-Merlin's sort-of-rampage would be a definite overstatement, but at least things had settled into some semblance of normalcy. Meliodas was still furious with Merlin, but it didn't seem like anyone hated each other anymore-well, no more than usual. In short, things were back to normal. Ish.

Elizabeth peered over the edge of the balcony as Hawk Mama thudded across the plains. She'd instructed the kids-especially Ban, who was exceedingly tiny and thus very breakable (she'd had nightmares involving them falling off of the tavern while Hawk Mama was still moving, often involving broken legs and ribs and abandonment)-to stay inside, had warned Merlin that Meliodas would be the one to deal with her if she tried anything, and had headed up to the rooftop for a breath of fresh air. Pale clouds peppered the horizon, and the muscles on her back twinged wistfully. _I almost wish the change had come with wings._ What would it be like, she wondered, to have that sort of absolute freedom? To hold flight in the palm of your hand. _Magical, probably._ "Gah," she muttered, pushing herself backwards and turning back towards the stairs. "This is what comes of a lack of sleep, Elizabeth. Get it together and look after them."

She headed down the stairs, mentally mapping out the day. There had to be ways to keep them busy. Zeldris was generally up for anything, surprisingly eager to experience a normal human childhood (despite his protests). Estarossa was a different story, though he'd been more agreeable lately. Ban was caught trying to sneak into the kitchen multiple times (poor Meliodas had had a heart attack the first time), but other than that, he seemed satisfied with nearly any activity. It was hard to tell whether he had all of his memories or not, since he could barely speak (the tears that came after realizing that had been heartwrenching), but Meliodas and Zeldris had somehow figured out how to "translate" the youngest's chatter into words. Merlin...Merlin was not allowed near anything magical, _ever_ , and they'd been searching for a way to lock down her power like she had with the others to no avail. Gowther had changed the least and still tended to remain sequestered up in the attic with his books. _What to do, what to do…_ Painting might be something they'd like, though. She couldn't see how that would go wrong-it was mellow, but fun, and there were few limitations that came with paint. _Yes, that might be fun…_

"You _liiiiiiiked_ her!"

"Sh-shut up, Estarossa!"

 _Ohhhh no._ Elizabeth sped up-the _last_ thing they needed now was a brawl between two tiny, volatile demons-only to come up short on the last step, raising her eyebrows in confusion. Estarossa was grinning, but the nature of the expression seemed less cruel and more...triumphant, as if he'd figured a puzzle out at last. Zeldris's face-what she could see of it; he had half-slipped beneath the table in what she presumed was embarrassment-was bright pink and slowly turning redder. "What happened?"

Estarossa perked up when he noticed her standing there, grinning even wider, a spark she hadn't seen in ages glinting in midnight-dark eyes. "Elizabeth! You'll never be able to guess-"

 _"NOOOOOOOOO!"_ The scandalized yell that came from the smaller of the two demons drowned out whatever had been about to come out of Estarossa's mouth. Zeldris toppled off the stool with a yelp, before darting to his feet. "It's nothing, really!" Ban snorted, a gesture that was far too derisive for that innocent face ( _completely innocent_ , Elizabeth thought wryly. _Yeah, right_. Having been adopted into the group and subjected to pranks-well, pranks that were primarily intended for Meliodas but often involved her getting caught in the crossfire, she no longer believed that for a second), especially one that was smaller than the stool he clung to, and Zeldris buried his face in his hands again, red as a tomato by now.

It was kind of adorable, and as pissed as Elizabeth was at Merlin (and she _was_ , she was just extremely good at hiding it; disguising anger was practically an art for royalty), she couldn't help thanking her mentally for it. _It would've been fine if it had just stopped with Estarossa and Zeldris. They actually needed it, but the others? What if she targets us next? Who's going to take care of them-of us?_ She shook off the thought. The kids didn't need to see her worried; it would probably only upset them further and they'd been through enough. "Well, it _clearly_ isn't nothing," she remarked, scooping Ban up as she made her way over to the table. "No one falls off their chair and yells 'nooooo' for nothing."

"See?" Estarossa leaned over the table and poked Zeldris's shoulder with a wicked grin. "Tell her or I will~"

Zeldris clamped his mouth shut and shook his head wildly, looking almost panicked. Elizabeth, caught between amusement and concern, tilted her head. "Do I want to know?"

"Yes!" Estarossa shouted (looking entirely too gleeful) just as Zeldris wailed, "No!" Ban just beamed up at her and clapped his hands together excitedly-about the closest to an understandable "yes" she'd be able to get from him.

 _Two votes to one,_ she mused. She shook her head ruefully and sat down at the table. "You've been outvoted, Zel. I won't tell Meliodas, though, if you don't want me to," she added. He let out an unintelligible whine, sliding back under the table and vanishing from view. _That...could've been worse. Looks like he saw it coming, at least._ "What is it, Estarossa?"

He grinned even wider, bouncing slightly in his seat. "It's _lu-di-crous,"_ he sang, sounding out the word carefully. That was another odd thing about the change-it had seemed purely physical at first, and they seemed to retain all their knowledge, but other things (like speech, for example) grew garbled. Certain words seemed to have become more difficult for them, as they would be for any child their age. _This spell is frighteningly meticulous,_ she thought with a shudder. Estarossa looked up at Elizabeth with shining eyes before cooing, "Zeldris is in _l-o-v-e_."

A grumble came from underneath the table. Elizabeth, managing to curb her curiosity, reached under it and squeezed Zeldris's shoulder sympathetically. She had suffered no end of teasing when her sisters uncovered her first-er, second crush. The first had been on Meliodas, when she was too young to remember it. _Oddly enough, that's the one that worked out._ "Really?"

"Uh-huh!" Estarossa nodded eagerly. "With this vampire girl-"

"She's a _princess,"_ Zeldris interrupted indignantly from beneath the table. "And _-ohhhhhhh_ …"

Elizabeth stifled a laugh, ruffling his hair. "So it's true? That's…" Adorable? Too cute for words? Something that made her want to pick him up and hug him for the next three years? "Wonderful," she decided. "Will you come out from under the table and tell us about her?"

She felt him shake his head, moving closer until he pressed against her leg. "Uh-uh."

 _Oh, hell, he's been turned into an absolute sweetheart._ "Will you stay under the table and tell us about her?" Ban squirmed in her arms, reach one chubby hand down towards Zeldris and giving her a pleading look. _He has no right to look so small and adorable, especially considering the fact that he's normally the_ opposite _of small and adorable._ She released a long-suffering sigh and gently set him down next to Zeldris, taking comfort in the fact that she could still feel the warm pressure of them against her legs. "You don't have to, of course, but I'd like to hear about her."

There was a pause. Even Estarossa didn't speak, looking vaguely interested. She felt Zeldris shift slightly against her leg, felt the air rush out of him with a whoosh as he sighed. "She was...kind." Elizabeth felt a smile curve her lips upward at that. "She made me want to be kind, too, even though I wasn't supposed to be. Her smile was worth that, even if it made Father mad." He shuddered against her as the word _father_ slipped past his lips, and she felt anger stir deep within her. _Good thing he's dead…_ "She was kind and she was merciful, but she wasn't weak like others said she was. Everyone said that kindness and mercy and love were weak, but they made her stronger." Elizabeth's heart broke as he pressed his head against her leg, the fabric of her leggings growing damp, and she ran her fingers through his hair again. Ban made a cooing noise and shifted closer to the smallest of the three demons. "And I wasn't good or strong or kind or merciful like her. I l-let her get hurt, and I b-betrayed her…"

He was crying in earnest now, and Elizabeth gently pulled him out from under the table, wrapping her arms around him in a hug as Ban stood unsteadily next to her (Estarossa, who seemed to be trying to pick up some of the slack recently, drew him away with the suggestion of playing with Gowther in the attic). She could sort-of remember the woman Zeldris was talking about, just a bit-a flash of pale blond hair and slate-gray eyes, fire swirling around a woman who seemed to be a pallid, icy beauty. _We crossed swords once, three thousand years ago-before Meliodas turned and before I fell. Her name...what was it?_ She _hated_ it when her memories acted like this-when she could recall the exact hair color of one life's little brother, but not their name or face. _Absolutely useless._ She supposed there was a reason for it-maybe so that she could retain her current identity?-but it infuriated her at times like this. "It might have been your hand that dealt the blow of sealing, but it was your father who gave the order," she murmured. "Disobeying would have caused even more damage to the both of you. Perhaps we can go and break the seal?"

He shook his head. "Felt it broken...ages ago. S-someone got rid of the vampires."

And _ohhh, fuck,_ hadn't Gowther mentioned that once? A battle with the vampires of Edinburgh? Meliodas had told her about it too, had remarked on how Escanor had obliterated their king and… _If she's dead, his heart will break._

 _There has to be a way to make this better for him._

As soon as Meliodas returned from his flight (lucky, _lucky_ bastard, getting to fly around when she'd never be able to regain the wings of her first life, she thought only half-sarcastically), she asked him, making sure that Zeldris wasn't eavesdropping somewhere. The second-youngest was surprisingly sneaky-or unsurprisingly, perhaps, given his upbringing. She braced herself for the answer, hope fluttering hesitantly in her chest-fluttering _hesitantly_ , not proudly, not like a banner she could wave. Perhaps it was because she believed the vampire was long-dead as well. _But maybe I can at least give him some kind of closure-_

"Gelda's alive."

Elizabeth stiffened and stared at him, dumbstruck. "You're kidding me."

Meliodas had the good sense to look _guilty_ , at least. He chewed on his lip as she gazed down at him, her eyes blazing with indignation. "She asked me to kill her when we laid siege to Edinburgh. I...couldn't do it; I knew what she meant to Zeldris, knew that she loved him and he loved her and-I _used_ that." He looked more than guilty now, more... _ashamed_ , self-loathing clear on his face. "It was the only way he'd ever give up the throne-the only person he'd give it up for."

 _So back in Camelot...oh my gods._ "That was what you told him."

He nodded. "I put up wards that would hide her from our father's view in the coming war, ones that would keep most monsters out. She understood what had to be done, but she wasn't happy with it. Neither was I," he admitted quietly, running a hand through his hair. "I meant to give him the location, but he vanished before I could, and once he and Estarossa were banished...he told me straight to my face that he thought I was lying. Wouldn't visit when I told him where it was because he thought it was a trick. Now he trusts me again, but…"

 _Well, he certainly had good reason to believe that,_ she thought, frowning. Protective anger warred with the urge to understand, but she beat down the feeling swiftly. _I have to handle this properly. No use in getting anyone mad here._ "Where is it?"

He glanced up at her, lips quirking up into a wry smile. "A little place in a forest near Caines. Part of the reason I'd dropped by there when we first met-" the words _in this lifetime_ went unspoken- "was to check up on her."

She nodded thoughtfully, weaving light around her fingers. Elizabeth was half-tempted to cast her magic around her hand and send him flying, but...she couldn't promise that she wouldn't have done the same thing, were their situations reversed. That she wouldn't have done whatever it took-killed, lied, manipulated her way to the curse's end if it meant never having to watch him die again. Even so… "Where do we keep the paper again?"

* * *

"Why are _we_ writing letters?" Merlin complained. "It's _dreadfully_ boring."

Elizabeth arched an eyebrow at the warlock, who looked mildly chastised, but not enough to be quiet (of course, she grumbled mentally, but shoved it aside). "Well, some of us have people we want to contact outside of here, Merlin. I thought I might contact my sisters, I figured Ban might want to know how Elaine is doing-" The child in question squeaked, blushing furiously. "And besides, it could be fun. You don't have to write to anyone if you don't want to, though."

Thankfully, Merlin didn't, instead drifting off to...hopefully not cause an overload of mischief (Elizabeth wasn't entirely sure that she _wouldn't_ go off on someone if Merlin decided to make things more complicated than they already were). Estarossa fiddled with the hem of his shirt before asking if he could go also, seeing as he had no one in particular to write to, which left her, Gowther (who was already scribbling away at a piece of paper), Ban (who seemed to have no inclination toward writing to Elaine about their predicament), and Zeldris, who bit his lip and blinked up at her worriedly. "I don't...have anyone to write to either."

She stifled a sigh and wrapped an arm around him, sliding him a piece of paper. "Of course you do. You have Gelda."

His cheeks reddened at her name, eyes widening. "B-but...Meliodas…"

 _Meliodas is going to sleep in the bar for the next century if he does anything like this again._ "Meliodas is an idiot sometimes," she told him gently, "and he doesn't always think about the way his objectives might affect the people he cares about. But he wasn't lying. She's alive, and safe, and she wants to hear from you."

Black eyes widened, shining with hope and disbelief, and Elizabeth felt acutely how much trust that the youngest of the demons held in her. _I can't break it. I won't break it, and I won't let anything break him._ "R-really?" Zeldris stammered, his face lighting up, practically glowing with raw, unbridled joy.

"Really," she confirmed, drawing a slip of paper over to him, tapping it gently. "Here. If you need any help…" He looked mortified at the very idea and she felt a thrill of amusement run through her. _Some things haven't changed, it seems_. "Well, I'll be right here."

Zeldris blinked up at her before smiling shyly. "...I know."

* * *

Responses to the letters-even the one that she'd discretely sent to Elaine informing her of the predicament-arrived almost immediately, as if nearly everyone they'd written to had been waiting to hear from them. Elizabeth felt a flash of guilt as she read through Veronica's scolding letter (there was a lot of "I was so goddamn worried you absolute fucking moron" in there); it was harder than she'd originally anticipated to keep up with her siblings while also traveling across Britannia. _Or is it harder for them to keep up with me? Either way, it's been ages since we last spoke…_ She shook off the guilt and opened Margaret's letter, which communicated her eldest sister's concerns a lot more _tactfully_ than Veronica had. A smile tugged at her lips as she read of Gil's proposal- _about time, you doofuses,_ she thought affectionately-and the wedding to come next summer.

The response she'd gotten from Elaine was attached to a package, the contents of which she had yet to examine but presumed was a gift. It certainly felt soft through the giant-petal wrappings, and she smiled slightly as she prodded at it again. "Mail's here!" she called up the stairs. _That ought to do it…_

There was a thunder of footsteps (the boys, probably, since Diane's footsteps were light as a dancer's and King would just float downstairs. Merlin probably was tied up in another experiment and wouldn't be down for ages, even though Arthur had sent news from Camelot), Estarossa landing on the floor first and peering at the small pile of letters despite having not written anything. She ruffled his hair, earning a reluctant smile in return, before watching as he darted off outside. _Good thing Hawk Mama's set down again,_ she thought fondly.

Gowther was the next one down, seven years old and remarkably small for his age. _How did the spell even work on him?_ she wondered, a bit puzzled. _He's a doll. He was practically created in his normal form...unless Merlin found a way around that? That's...worrying._ She shook off the thought, sliding him the letter from her father. She'd glanced at the note upon realizing it was addressed to Baltra and had discovered that he wanted a memorial for her late aunt, Nadja. _From what Father's written, it seems like she was an amazing person. She ought to have that memorial._ "Be _careful,"_ she called after him as he hurried outside as well, letter clutched to his chest and his golden eyes as bright as the near-perpetual smile his child-form had. Her gaze drifted back to the stairs as Meliodas descended, looking highly disheveled, with Ban in his arms and Zeldris trotting along by his side. The scene was so utterly domestic, so ordinary and warm and _beautiful_ , that she felt tears prick at her eyes. Elizabeth forced the urge to cry back, instead smiling widely at them. "Morning, sleepyheads."

Meliodas blinked dazedly (he'd forgotten to tie his tie, she noticed with a spark of affection. _A year of peace and look what we've become. It's...wonderful)_ before giving her a sleepy smile, kissing her on the cheek. "Morning, love."

She raised her eyebrows at that. "Love?"

"I was trying it out. No?"

"Let's stick with names for now." She pressed her forehead to his for a moment, feeling power thrum between the two of them, before drawing back and smiling at Ban. "Good morning to you too." He squeaked in response, red eyes blinking furiously as he tried to clear away the last vestiges of sleep, and she heard Meliodas chuckle in response to the noise. "Someone got you a present," she added, ruffling Zeldris's hair and giving him a small grin before taking the package and setting it down in front of him.

His eyes widened at that, and Ban shot Meliodas a quick look, as if asking for permission. Elizabeth raised her eyes to his, noting a glimmer of worry within them. _I'll have to ask him about that later._ "You can open it," he murmured gently, and she noted with a sudden _tsunami_ of emotion the tenderness in the fingers that could kill so easily as they brushed the wild spikes of pale blue hair. _He could kill them all in an instant, and he_ knows _that. No wonder he's so awkward around them sometimes…_

She felt a warm pressure against her side and wrapped her arm around it on instinct, glancing down to see Zeldris peering nervously at the pile as Ban hesitantly picked at the wrappings of the parcel. A small gasp came from the youngest of the two, drawing her attention as the petals unfolded, revealing a small stuffed fox with silky red fur and little black buttons sewn on for the eyes and nose. Another glance was cast at Meliodas, who nodded, and Ban wrapped his arms around the fox with a delighted squeal.

Only one letter was left.

"I-is that-" Zeldris's voice faded out as Meliodas slid the letter closer, revealing the elegant handwriting along the address. With shaking fingers, Zeldris opened the envelope, shadows flickering around him as he did so, and slid the letter free, black eyes scanning it slowly.

Tears formed in his eyes as he read through it, but pink dusted his cheeks and a wide, deliriously happy smile had broken out on his face when he finished. "I'm going to go play outside," he chirped, suddenly full of energy, as if the words on that slim sheet of paper had reignited something in him. "Can Ban come with me?"

Meliodas opened his mouth as if to protest (Ban was still too caught up in the idea of having a whole toy just for himself, it seemed), but King-who, mercifully, had only overheard the last few snippets of conversation, enough so that she wouldn't have to explain everything to him-floated past at that moment with a yawn, Oslo hovering behind him making cheery "bafo" noises. "I can watch 'em."

 _You probably have no clue what you're getting into,_ Elizabeth thought dryly as Ban, clutching the fox tightly in his arms, was transferred onto Chastiefol, Zeldris started to run out ahead of them with a gleeful shout, the letter clutched tightly in his hand before Elizabeth called him back. "Zeldris, it might get damaged outside. Leave your letter here with me and I'll look after it." Zeldris shot Elizabeth a thoughtful look, before quickly running back and solemnly handing the letter to her before rushing outside. Once the boys were gone, Elizabeth looked at Meliodas, fought her curiosity for about a minute-then slowly shifted over to sit beside him, pulled the letter between the two of them, eyes drifting down the page.

She took his hand as they finished reading, blissfully unaware of the tears slipping down her face. "Reach for the sun," she breathed.

Meliodas kissed her again, long and slow and sweet. "And never look back."

 _To my beloved:_

 _Despite what Elizabeth tells me you believe-Elizabeth, if you're reading this, we simply_ must _go out sometime, I've always wanted to see the city you now call home-I do not blame you for what occured. In fact, I blame_ myself _, for not taking a stand and fighting for what was right rather than what was easiest for me. Perhaps you and I would've been freed from the shackles of our fathers' cruelties long before...but I digress._

 _I still love you. I will_ always _love you, no matter what form you take, and I am so incredibly grateful to Merlin (is she really the same Merlin from three thousand years ago? I'm not even going to bother trying to ask her...she sounds like a capricious sort) for giving you a second chance at life, a chance at growing up outside of that monster's shadow. You deserve it._

 _Don't grow up too fast again, Zeldris, and don't grow up for me. We have eternity, you and I, and if that means waiting a few more centuries for you to see the world and make friends and do everything that...creature who called himself your father kept you from doing, then I'll do it gladly, knowing that the Zeldris who will come back to me will still be the same courageous, selfless warrior from three thousand years past-but you'll be_ happier _._

 _Be happy, Zeldris. I want you to smile as much as you can, laugh until your sides hurt, try to fly until your magic gives out right before you touch the sun, and don't look back even when you fall. Splash in puddles, celebrate your birthdays, live life in its full, open-hearted, wild, utterly messy glory._

 _Be happy. I promise I will be here when you're ready._

 _All my love,_

 _Gelda_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: In Which There's A Bit Of A Party (But Estarossa Needs Help)**

The morning sun shone cold and bright in the early February mist. Estarossa looked wistfully out of the window from his room in The Boar Hat, gripping the wooden sill with small fingers. He did not want to go downstairs, but knew he could not stay forever shut in his room; Meliodas would only worry.

He was happy for the others of course-well sort, of anyway. _I wish I got letters too,_ he thought as he heard Ban's excited squeak even from this distance along with Zeldris's childish, prattling voice and high-pitched giggles. His younger brother's reaction frustrated him no end (this sort of excitement was just so _beneath_ his high-ranking brethren), but what hurt most was that even Gowther, the _doll_ with _no feelings_ got letters too. Even if the the sound of his joy did not echo along the hallways of the bar Estarossa knew his companion lived for these days when the post arrived. That all of them shared this experience while he was left out in the cold made him feel unsettled and disappointed.

Still, at least he and Meliodas were getting on quite well together now and Estarossa had to admit he could understand why Zeldris wanted the eldest's company so badly. Meliodas had been very fair, splitting his time carefully between him and his younger brother, and Estarossa had felt...included? Valued? Even loved. It was a new sensation, the warmth which flooded his chest whenever Meliodas smiled at him in approval. He had longed for these looks all through his previous childhood and the unbridled joy he felt now these glances, the _praise_ that even came his way sometimes threatened to overwhelm the young demon. It meant _so much._

"Estarossa, come down please! Breakfast is getting cold. And don't worry, Escanor made it, I promise!" With a sigh, Estarossa walked slowly to the door, not wanting to disobey his brother's called summons, but his feet felt heavy as they thudded down the stairs despite the glorious smells which drifted up from the bar and the rumbling of his stomach. He was not looking forward to seeing the others all playing with the trinkets they'd been sent.

But this sight he was spared. As he stepped into the bar area, Estarossa was just in time to see Zeldris and Ban running out of the door, Oslo following with a loud bark at their heels. Gowther remained in The Boar Hat, sitting primly at one of the round, wooden tables next to Elizabeth, who smiled a warm greeting. But the doll was never exuberant; even though Estarossa could tell his former teammate was happy, Gowther did not rub his excitement in the demon's face as he joined them. Estarossa felt a gratitude to his brother as he caught Meliodas's eye, knowing that he had not been asked to come down until the coast was clear. The Captain of the Sins could be surprisingly thoughtful at times.

Meliodas placed a plate of bacon and eggs in front of Estarossa, who began to devour them in an instant. The morning had worn on, it was already gone nine and he was _properly starving_. Engrossed in his meal, Estarossa did not notice the expression of utter rapture which spread across Elizabeth's face as she sneakily read Gelda's latest letter to Zeldris from under the table, nor the calculating expression which settled there just a few moments later.

"Meliodas, come and look at this!" she called excitedly. The blonde came unwillingly out of the kitchen, running a hand through his messy hair.

"What is it?" he asked, a little petulantly. "I'm in the middle of cleaning. Escanor is not the tidiest…" At this, an angry roar of protest emanated from the kitchen and Estarossa held his breath in anticipation. The god of a man frightened him more than he ever cared to admit.

"Look at this!" Elizabeth said somewhat breathlessly as she thrust the letter into Meliodas's hands. "We have to do something! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" Meliodas enquired, confusion ringing in his tone. "What? But this… this is nothing! What are you so excited about?"

"But, it's February fifth. Today!" Elizabeth replied incredulously as she stood up from the table, banging her knees slightly on the edge in her haste. "We have to do something, and we've only the day to organise it. What on earth are we going to do for a present?" Estarossa pricked up his ears at the mention of gifts, wondering what the former goddess had up her sleeves as Gowther continued to stare into his book. Surreptitiously, he ate his food more carefully so as to make less noise with his cutlery and thus hear the conversation more easily.

"But… oh! I see. You know demons don't celebrate these things, right?" Meliodas said kindly, the usual soft light returning to his eyes. "It's just a date on the calendar, it means nothing. We never do anything special."

"And look how you all turned out. Don't tell me that is a good thing!" Elizabeth said firmly. "Well, demon traditions or not we're doing something special today. He's a _little boy_ Meliodas. A little boy who needs some joy in his life. You must have seen these sorts of celebrations before, in Liones perhaps?"

"Yeah, of course. I never got what the fuss was about, but I'll play along if it makes you happy," Meliodas said, rising on tiptoes to give Elizabeth a peck on the cheek. "So, what do we have to do?"

"I'll speak to Escanor about the food. Can you go into town and buy a present? A nice one!" Elizabeth added sternly. "I'll get this room ready. And let's keep it quiet. He'll be so excited if we make it a surprise."

Before Meliodas could reply, Elizabeth turned to Estarossa, who was pushing the last bit of bacon around his plate in an effort not to look suspicious. "Will you do me and Meliodas a massive favour?" Elizabeth said sweetly as she looked straight into Estarossa's eyes. Something about the deep cerulean blue, the flash of silver was mesmerising and familiar. _It's as if I've done this before_ Estarossa thought before shaking his head to rid himself of the unwelcome sensation. Something told him this was a memory he did not want to explore.

"Um… Meliodas and I need some space to… get some things ready. Would you be a dear and keep Zeldris and Ban occupied for the day so we can get on? I'm sure Gowther will help you," Elizabeth coaxed as she rested her hand on the doll's stiff shoulder. Gowther looked up from his book, the frosty light from the windows reflecting off his glasses, obscuring his eyes, but Estarossa just spotted the doll's barely-perceptible nod.

"You'll be doing us such a big favour," Elizabeth pleaded, her blue eyes still shining in that unsettling way which seemed to pierce his soul. "We'll be extremely grateful for your help." Elizabeth turned to Meliodas as she said this, and following her gaze Estarossa caught his brother's slightly worried expression. At once, he knew he was being kept in the dark, and that however loudly the voice in his head was yelling at him to protest, he was not going to say no.

Elizabeth continued, "I'd ask Diane to do it, but she and King have taken Merlin to Camelot. We're quite near there now. We're hoping… well…" Estarossa suddenly grinned. He had taken the liberty of listening under Meliodas's bedroom door the previous evening and knew that he and Elizabeth were pinning all their hopes on Arthur Pendragon persuading Merlin to re-age the party. Somehow, Estarossa was sure they would get no joy with this enterprise. He knew Merlin better than almost anyone now, and he was certain the witch would refuse to relinquish the power she held over The Boar Hat and its occupants.

"Okay," Estarossa said carefully, shoving the last of the bacon into his mouth. "I'll play along, but I want pancakes for breakfast tomorrow," he added in a voice muffled by food.

"Done!" Elizabeth said brightly as another loud yell of protest emanated from the kitchen. Evidently Escanor was not best pleased with the idea. "Just keep Zeldris away from here until sundown and you get your wish," Elizabeth said with a smile. "I'm counting on you, Estarossa. I know you can go it!"

"Feeling slightly giddy at the sudden praise, Estarossa jumped up from the table, stepping round to pull Gowther backwards sharply by his loose clothes. The doll fell to the floor, before picking himself up and, after dusting himself off, the two boys made their way out of the tavern. Estarossa just caught another squeak of excitement from Elizabeth as he left through the door. _Now what_ is _she up to?_

"How are you going to keep Ban and Zeldris away from the tavern?" Gowther intoned as he walked jerkily beside Estarossa, who was striding across the damp grass. "I have been ob… obser… looking at them and Zeldris always goes back to see Elizabeth after playing for a few hours, even if he is having fun. He does not like to be away from her for long."

Estarossa pulled up short at this. Gowther was right, his brother was annoyingly clingy, especially since the drugging escapade. Separating him from Elizabeth and Meliodas for the day was not going to be easy. _Why don't you just order him to stay away? He's younger than you?_

"He will never respond to your threats," Gowther said flatly as if reading Estarossa's mind. "You know that. You may be older but he sees himself as your better. He will never do as you say." _Damn. He's right. Stupid Zeldris._

"So… what should we do?" Estarossa asked crossly. "What's your big idea?"

"Hide and seek. You know he hates losing. All we have to do is hide really well. He won't go back home until he's found us," Gowther said, the hint of a smile twitching along his lips. "I've got a great hiding place. He'll never find me."

"Alright." Estarossa sighed, mulling over Gowther's idea, his dark eyes flashing in the pale yellow sunshine. There was no reason to suspect it wouldn't work and with Zeldris occupied in the hunt he would have some time to go and spy on Elizabeth. The need to know what she was up to was burning his soul.

"Zeldris! Ban!" Estarossa called as he set off once again, listening for the sounds of giggles and Oslo's barks as he made his was across the grass in an effort to find the two boys. With annoyance, he felt the cuffs of his trousers brush wet and cold against his skin and a slight squelch in his boots, which were obviously not as impervious to the weather as they were supposed to be. _Stupid Britannia. Why can't it be nice and warm and_ dry _like in the demon realm. I hate this place. I WANT TO GO HOME_.

After several minutes of searching, Estarossa found them, his brows raising into his silver bangs as he came to the clearing where the two children were standing. Zeldris was posed ready to lunge, right foot forward, left leg bent slightly as he prepared to spring, pointed stick held aloft in the loose grip of his hand. Ban was giggling furiously, holding up a sectioned branch of willow which Zeldris must have helped him to make. Ban snapped the stick in the air, a purple light suddenly glowing around it as the tiny, blue-haired boy's face morphed into what could only be described as a wicked grin.

"How come you can do that? You're three!" Estarossa cried and Oslo growled in warning, raising his head from where it rested on his paws. Estarossa was more upset at Ban's display of magic than he had been that morning when alone in his room. He had been trying for weeks to summon a sword, practicing for hours and hours at a time, all to no avail. Try as he might he had no power at all. Ban made some unintelligible noises, which made Estarossa even more cross and he could feel the swirl on his forehead pulsing painfully with his anger.

"I taught him. Well, it's his power, obviously. I just helped him draw it out," Zeldris replied proudly. "He's a natural. I think he must have done this himself with no help the first time around. And look, I'm making good progress too. Watch this." With a sudden movement, Zeldris thrust his sword up into the air and instantly the stick was covered in the fierce purple flames of Hellblaze, the licking fire magically smothering the stick without causing it to burn as Zeldris's face shone with triumph.

Estarossa felt his stomach clench in envy. This is what had happened last time around too. Zeldris was no more powerful than him, not when all was said and done, but he had found a way to call on his power ridiculously early, the little flash of magic cast from the cradle causing the baby's carers to sit up and take notice. Even their father had been impressed, giving the young prince privileges Estarossa could only dream of, and of course his own tutor at a ridiculously young age. Unlike most other demons, himself included, his younger brother had not been sent away until old enough for their clan's gruelling training programme. Zeldris had honed his craft at home, getting a serious head start on building his power. It would have been less hurtful if Meliodas had not also been given these favours, including the obsequious service of the legendary Pacifier Demon, while _he_ was left to his own devices for much of the time. No one had ever bothered to give him any particular notice, unless they were telling him off. Not even Meliodas, who he had idolised and worshiped, had given him more than the odd withering glance, not even when he had mastered Full Counter.

"Show me. I want to do that too!" Estarossa whined. Zeldris looked at him scornfully, before his expression softened as he took in his brother's set face and the coal black eyes burning with hot determination.

"Fine. Let's give it a go. Do exactly as I say though," Zeldris warned as he handed Estarossa the stick. "Now, close your eyes and focus on the darkness inside you. Feel it moving through your body and follow it. Don't try to push it or direct it, just listen to it." Gowther and Ban stood to the side next to Oslo, who was snoring slightly, watching closely and quietly as Estarossa held up the stick.

 _This is stupid,_ Estarossa snarled in his head but he did as Zeldris commanded, following the darkness as it swirled through his legs and into his stomach. Feeling the soft warm power inside him was comforting, and before long Estarossa realised that he had relaxed, more than he had done for ages.

"When you feel your power in your fingers, push it out over the stick. And do it gently. It's a little tough the first time around," Zeldris said a few moments later, his voice sounding like it was coming from behind a brick wall, faint and muffled. Estarossa concentrated, following the pulsing power as it coursed through his arms and into his hands. When he felt it tingling in the tips of his fingers, he carefully pushed it out from his body, feeling the stick growing warm in his hands as he did so.

"There you go. Open your eyes," Zeldris said, a catch in his voice betraying his excitement despite his attempts to feign boredom. Estarossa curiously opened one eye, then the other, his hearts beating wildly in his chest as he saw a few small violet flames licking up the sides of the makeshift sword. It was nothing compared to Zeldris's full-bodied achievement, but it was a _start_. It was the first bit of power he had managed to summon since becoming a child and he felt his raw pride glowing in his chest.

"Show me more!" Estarossa demanded eagerly, but Zeldris shook his head in a statesman-like manner, making Estarossa clench his teeth with his rage.

"No, it's Ban's turn next, or you Gowther if you want to try," Zeldris said imperiously as he looked over towards the two bystanders. Gowther shook his head from side to side in a slight jerking movement, while Ban sprang up, running to Zeldris with an eager face.

"Your power is Snatch, here try taking my strength. You can do it," Zeldris said encouragingly as Ban looked at him, a frightened expression flitting across his features. "I don't know how Snatch works but it's probably the same as other power. Just try and focus on it until you can feel it in your fingers. Don't worry. You have my permission," Zeldris said kindly as Ban's bottom lip began to wobble.

The morning passed pleasantly enough. Ban was making so much progress that Zeldris was reluctant to stop his training. The boy was like a sponge, soaking up everything he was taught and making huge strides in just a few hours, successfully stealing both demons' physical abilities, as well as Gowther's although this didn't amount to much. Ban managed to rip up a tree from the ground with his bare hands, holding it aloft as his biceps bulged while Zeldris clapped enthusiastically and Estarossa had to admit he was impressed. This human was something special.

"You'd have been so powerful if you'd had training as a boy. You didn't, did you?" Zeldris asked sadly and Ban shook his head. The small boy looked up at Zeldris, tears forming in his eyes, mouth clamped shut as the youngest demon pulled him into a tight hug. "We'll make it better, we'll start again. You won't have to do it alone this time, I promise." Estarossa felt himself gag slightly as Ban sobbed into Zeldris's shoulder. _No need for this sentimental bullshit. Gowther isn't behaving like a baby. He's just reading and minding his own business._

Estarossa waited until well past noon before venturing back to The Boar Hat for some food as the others continued to train under Gowther's and Oslo's somewhat watchful eyes. He did not want to face Escanor, well… ever really but definitely not at twelve o'clock. As he came up to the tavern, Estarossa saw immediately that there was something _different:_ a string of multi-coloured lights circled the building and the tavern looked _clean_ as if it had been washed.

The changes continued inside. The Boar Hat sparkled; Meliodas was constantly seeing to the place but it never looked this good regardless, and there were flowers everywhere. A delicious smell of something was wafting from the kitchen and Estarossa felt his mouth water as he took in the sight of Elizabeth standing on a bar stool hanging up bunting along the edges of the ceiling. She smiled as she saw Estarossa and stepped down, grabbing a package from the bar as she walked towards him.

"Here, Escanor made you boys sandwiches," Elizabeth said as she passed the parcel to Estarossa. "The preparations are going well. Just make sure Zeldris doesn't come back for a bit longer. Can you keep him occupied for a few more hours? That should give Meliodas time to get back from town. He'd better have brought candles or I'll have to raid Merlin's lab…" she muttered under her breath. Confused, Estarossa nodded his agreement before running back to the others, prize in hand. Ban and Zeldris had been working flat out and were bound to be hungry, as was he now that he had that smell to think of.

That package contained a woven mat as well as the sandwiches, some apples and three bottles of ginger beer and the boys made a picnic of it, Gowther continuing to read as they ate, not needing sustenance himself. Escanor was a surprisingly passable chef, having served food when he ran his own bar. He had nothing on Ban of course, but at least the food was edible.

Once the meal was over, Estarossa prepared to deploy Gowther's hide and seek idea but Zeldris had other plans. He forbade Ban from doing any more training on the basis he might tire himself out, but showed himself not such mercy. Estarossa watched in amazement as Zeldris put himself through sword drills with his pointed stick and then practiced calling on his magic. He had mastered Hellblaze, but the more advanced applications were proving more tricky. The small demon did not give up though; he spent hours pushing himself to the absolute limit and Estarossa suddenly understood why he had made such strides as a youngster.

"Have you always done this?" he asked Zeldris in awe as Ban ran round a tree, Oslo chased his tail in his sleep and Gowther continued to read.

"Of course, this is how you build power, this is how you get strong," Zeldris said through gritted teeth as he attempted to summon his magic again. "Why do you ask? How did _you_ do it?"

"Well… it just sort of happened," Estarossa said slowly as Zeldris stopped what he was doing and gave his brother his full attention. "I… followed Meliodas around a lot and tried to… well I copied whatever he did. That's how I learned Full Counter. The sword summoning thing I came on one day when Mel took me out hunting and I forgot my weapon. I didn't want him to know so I… got one."

Zeldris stared at Estarossa, the expression on his face familiar but unreadable. "You mean you got all your power without really _trying_ ," Zeldris seethed, his black eyes narrowing to slits. "You… you _idiot_. Think what you could have become if you'd just put some effort in! You could have been _King!"_

"That sort of thing never really bothered me," Estarossa said, flicking a speck of dust from his coat. "I just wanted to be better than _you_ , and for Meliodas to notice me. But it wasn't worth a lot of effort getting there. I was happy with my power, it was enough to beat you in a fair fight."

"Well, you won't beat me this time around," Zeldris declared, a smile on his lips. "This time I'll win. So watch out."

It was dusk by the time the boys were ready to go home. Estarossa and Zeldris had sparred, Ban joining in while Gowther finished his book. As they made their way back to The Boar Hat, Oslo padding beside them and sticks in hand (well, Gowther had a book and whatever he said the pen was most definitely not mightier than the sword, but he guessed it still counted). Estarossa was feeling surprisingly happy. He'd made good progress with Hellblaze, Zeldris was being nice to him and he had accomplished his task of keeping the others away without too much difficulty. Meliodas and Elizabeth would be pleased with him. He had almost forgotten the reason for his sort-of quest and that something odd was going on in the tavern.

When the boys arrived, the string of lights winding round their home was glowing red, blue and pink in the soft evening light. Ban cooed enthusiastically and even Gowther stopped in his tracks for a few moments as he took in the spectacle. Zeldris looked at Estarossa in confusion, before heading in to the bar.

The sight that met the boys' eyes when they entered was at once exciting and comforting. A large, iced cake stood on the middle of the central table, covered in glittering candles, the decorations illuminated softly by the light they gave off. There was more food on the tables too: cookies and a huge jar of sweets as well as more sandwiches. Zeldris stood stock still in the middle of the room, his eyes wide with amazement as he took it all in. He opened his mouth to ask a question but before he got anywhere with it Elizabeth and Escanor jumped up from behind the bar shouting "Surprise!" Meliodas following reluctantly beside them.

"Happy birthday!" Elizabeth shouted as she ran round the bar towards Zeldris pulling him into a tight hug. "Well, what do you think?" she asked as she gestured round at the room. Zeldris's mouth hung open, his eyes so wide they threatened to pop out of his head as, slowly, his face morphed into one of ecstatic delight.

"We got you a present too. Come on, open it!" Elizabeth encouraged as she handed Zeldris a wrapped parcel. The small boy took it gingerly, his fingers ghosting carefully over the shiny blue paper before he finally started tearing at it, pulling it away in pieces to reveal a polished, wooden sword, beautifully carved and proportioned. Zeldris squealed with delight, instantly discarding his stick and holding the sword out in front of him experimentally.

"Thank you, this is… thank you," Zeldris murmured as he pushed his face into Elizabeth's shoulder as she knelt next to him, no doubt hiding some rather embarrassing tears. Estarossa tried to sneer, but he found he just couldn't. He had not felt so _damn angry_ since coming to stay in this ridiculous bar; not when Merlin de-aged him, not when Elizabeth had told him off for _Merlin's_ prank, not even when Zeldris had shown his clear preference for Ban. _This is just not FAIR_.

"So, he gets a birthday party and I got PUT IN A TEST TUBE," Estarossa yelled at the top of his voice. He could feel his face turning red and the tears pricking at the back of his eyes but he suddenly didn't care what he looked like. He wanted to hurt them, badly, to make them feel the way he was feeling now. The idea of slapping Elizabeth came to his mind but he pushed it away again. However satisfying it would be, he knew he was no match for her in his current state.

"What are you talking about?" Meliodas asked in confusion as he walked over to Estarossa. His face was soft, kindly, without any trace of anger but Estarossa was not to be consoled. The raw injustice of it was so painful he just wanted to lash out.

"My birthday was _last month_ and what happened to me? I got put in a test tube by _Merlin_ while he gets… this!" Estarossa shouted as he looked round the room. "I hate you! I hate you all!" Without another word, Estarossa ran up the stairs to his room, letting the tears stream down his face as he slammed the door behind him and threw himself on the bed to weep into the pillows. He felt absolutely wretched.

He was not sure how much time passed before a tentative knock sounded at the door and it slowly opened, creaking slightly on its hinges. Estarossa did not look up; he knew Meliodas's energy well enough to know when his brother was near and he did not want to give his elder the satisfaction of seeing his face.

"I messed this up big time," Meliodas said sadly as he sat on the bed, Estarossa feeling it give slightly under his brother's weight. "I promise it wasn't on purpose, champ. I didn't realise it was your birthday in January any more than I remembered it was Zeldris's today. Elizabeth found out about it because Gelda put it in her letter to him, that's all. I promise I'm not playing favourites here. If I'd remembered, I'd never have let Elizabeth talk me into this nonsense. I'm so, so sorry."

Hearts thumping in his chest, Estarossa listened to his brother apologising. It was something he'd heard the Captain of the Sins do before. _Weak_ , he'd thought. _Weak and pathetic._ But now he was on the receiving end he had to admit it did make him feel better, if only a bit. The hurt was still there, but it felt a bit less raw and painful now.

"What can I do to make it up to you?" Meliodas asked softly as he placed a warm hand on Estarossa's head. "I can't turn back time, but I… there must be something I can do. Just tell me, please."

"Yes, there is," Estarossa said with a gulp, his voice coming out painfully after all the crying as he turned his face towards his brother. "We've been training today and I have a long way to go. _You're_ going to help me this time. Properly. I'm not going to just copy you, you're going to give me lessons." Estarossa held his breath, watching Meliodas's face closely, surprise and delight running through him as he saw a sunny smile spreading across the familiar face.

"You got it! It's a deal. Now will you come downstairs and eat? It's really not the same without you," Meliodas said brightly, his smile broadening as he stood up and pulled Estarossa to his feet. "And I... um… I got you a sword too," he continued as the pair set off down the stairs. "I'll give it to you tomorrow, okay? Something tells me Elizabeth will think it inappropriate if I give it to you just now."

"Yeah, that's okay," Estarossa said with a smile as the two brothers made their way back to the party.

* * *

A/N: Happy Birthday Zeldris!


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: In Which Ban Wishes He Had A Bit Of Sel-Control (And A Hug Maybe)**

It was fucking _weird_ , being three years old.

This, coming from Ban, was certainly saying a lot, seeing as he'd dealt with a lot of weird bullshit in his time (vampires, demons, talking turtles-don't even ask about that last one). But being three years old with forty-three years worth of memories compiled inside a body about as big as one of the Cap'n's arms? That was _beyond_ bizarre, for a lot of reasons that didn't even make _sense._

One of those reasons was _sounds_. Sounds were strange now, sounds were echo-y and almost _scary_ and he couldn't understand half of what people were saying most of the time, as if the words had slipped out of some hole in his mind that he didn't know existed. He could barely speak, too (which was absolutely infuriating) and anything he _could_ say came out as gibberish that only Cap'n and Zeldris were able to understand (and that-well, _that_ was just fuckin' _pathetic_ , in his opinion). He couldn't always understand the letters Elaine wrote, either, and that drove him batshit-fucking-crazy.

(Odd, wasn't it, that he remembered swears and not things that were _important,_ like how to understand adults when they spoke. _Your fault,_ he thought, mind drifting to the dark city he'd grown up in, and he shivered, pushing the memory away).

Being so... _small_ changed other things, too-like how he saw people. Zeldris and Estarossa...he could still _remember_ what they did, how they'd tried to cut up the world he'd wanted so badly to protect, but something in them had shifted now (or something in his perception, maybe? He didn't want to think about it). Zeldris- _the_ Zeldris, the motherfucking _Executioner_ of the Demon Clan who'd enslaved Camelot and killed on command-was _kind_ , and he _listened_ , and he'd let him play with his stuff that first day (he'd been too small and startled and scared to think straight, to even consider the possibility of trying to handle things like an adult, and Zeldris had seen that and _helped_ him instead calling him useless) and most days after. Physically, they were only two years apart, so maybe it made sense that they got along now. It was as if his mind couldn't reconcile the man that had crushed Camelot under his heel with the cheerful demon who liked to explore with a Black Hound and help him with his magic.

Estarossa was a bit of a different story; he didn't _hate_ the prick anymore, even though he was often just that: a prick. It was just harder to look at him and _not_ see the man who'd killed Cap'n with such ease, even when he'd tried _everything_ to save him. Estarossa _tried_ , though, he'd give him that. When he wasn't training with Meliodas (he squashed the jealousy at the thought; it wasn't as if _he_ could spar with the Cap'n now. He wasn't even sure if he was still immortal), he was distracting Merlin from causing too much trouble, or helping Gowther organize the library that was forming in the attic, or even setting up a blanket fort that he'd invited the others into. They'd eaten their dinner in that carefully-crafted tent while the adults chattered just outside, and he'd nearly fallen asleep in the older demon's lap.

Attachments. He'd ended up forming _serious goddamn attachments_ to two people who had both tried to destroy anything and everything he loved, all because they were there for him to cling to when he needed them-and he was forming attachments to _things,_ too. Like with that damned fox that Elaine had sent him-he'd just been so _shocked;_ it wasn't as if he'd had any toys the first time around. Not that he blamed Zhivago at all, of course; his adopted father had been trying to keep him alive and safe while keeping him out from under the roof of the bastard he called his biological father, _and_ simultaneously trying to keep Therion safe. Ban had loved him for everything he'd done (still did, really), for saving his ass time and time again, and it had never even crossed his mind that he'd want something _more_. He had someone who was risking both his life and his _real_ son's life to keep seeing a street urchin who caused more harm than good. What more could he want?

Except Ban wasn't a street urchin anymore, and even though he still caused more harm than good, he had...was _this_ what people would call a family? The thought genuinely alarmed him a bit; what would happen if he started looking at the Cap'n (his _best friend)_ and Elizabeth (someone who had _actually_ grown to be a good friend of his) as-as _parents?_ And then, worse-did he _already_ see them like that?

But if he _did_ -if his instincts really _did_ believe that, that meant they were… _family._ He could sort of deal with that, especially when that family was made up of people who'd been (still were, really) his friends and who were even trying to _protect_ him now. He wished they wouldn't, but it was kind of _nice_ , this second chance. Poorly timed, but nice.

He wrapped his arms tightly around the fox (he'd started calling her Killia in his head on reflex) and chewed his lip, ignoring the sting of pain that his canines caused as they sank into his soft flesh. "You'll hurt yourself if you keep doing that," Cap'n rebuked gently and he felt heat rush to his face. They were sitting by the kitchen (so tantalizingly _close;_ he'd never missed his autonomy so much-ha, there was a word he could remember! _Autonomy_. Fuckin' take that, Merlin!), the February frost climbing up the windows in odd, twisting designs. He clutched Killia a bit closer and glanced up at Cap'n, but his friend's eyes seemed so far away. They _always_ seemed far away now, he thought, feeling momentarily put-out and then feeling guilty.

 _"Valentine's Day~!"_ a voice-Diane's voice-sang, and Ban let out a squeak of surprise (he hadn't even heard her footsteps like he normally could; she must've been either really fast or really cautious or his hearing was just getting to be _awful_ ) as she practically flew down the stairs, leaping off the last step with a spin that would've probably made the most skilled, experienced dancer weep. "To-mor-row!" She shot him-no, Cap'n, of course she wasn't looking at him-a glance and beamed, the ring on her finger crafted carefully of pale gold, never-fading blossoms glinting. "Are you doing anything special for Elizabeth?"

 _Valentine's Day._ That was the fourteenth, wasn't it? His birthday… Ban shook his head quickly, dispelling the thought and burying his face in Killia's cloud-soft "fur". Cap'n probably wouldn't remember, anyways, and he didn't want to make anyone upset, especially after what had happened barely a week ago. Still, he was curious (and it was better than remembering that he couldn't do anything for Elaine for this next Valentine's Day and how much that feeling of uselessness _sucked_ ), and he turned his gaze to Meliodas as he propped his elbows on the bar, chin in hands and bright green eyes practically glowing. "I was going to take her down to that old grotto that the townsfolk kept talking about. Seems like the kind of place she'd love." His eyes glittered fondly. "After you guys are asleep, of course," he added to Ban, and he stifled a squeal of surprise as Cap'n ruffled his hair affectionately.

"Oh, that reminds me!" Diane prodded his cheek gently, and he hid his face in Killia's tail (he'd found that hiding was easier than looking people in the eye when this sort of thing happened; people would call him "shy" and all sorts of the things that he definitely _wasn't_ , but it was better than waiting for the hurt that would inevitably follow the touch). "King said that Elaine was healthy enough to come back for a little while, so she might be dropping by. I'm not sure, but…"

 _Elaine._

Elaine was coming. Elaine was going to see him like this and she was going to _hate_ him, she wouldn't care about him anymore or she'd lie and say she did but he'd only end up being _more_ of a burden when he wanted to make everything _easier_ for her and he was _failing,_ he'd failed her, he was _weak_ and _worthless_ and-

And he couldn't breathe.

He _couldn't breathe_. His chest was tight with panic and the world was swirling dizzyingly around him as he tried in vain to suck air into his lungs. Ban dug his fingers tightly into Killia's tail, inhaling as sharply as he could. Cap'n's voice rang in his ears, too loud and too soft all at once, words (words he couldn't _understand_ , _useless fuck, bastard, waste of breath and space and time_ ) turning to gibberish. A hand _(danger danger danger gonna get hurt hit choked stabbed not again please no)_ grabbed at him, grabbed at the soft toy in his arms and he felt a wail leave his throat, felt magic pulse around him in a hurricane of raw protective force. _Stop stop please let me go won't be bad anymore I'll be good please don't hurt don't hurt_ ** _DON'T HURT ME!_**

Magic hummed and crackled in the air before fading abruptly, and Ban gasped as the _Counter Vanish_ technique swept it away into thin air. Green and gold and violet blurred together as he choked on his fear, the death-grip he had on the fox increasing even more. _No…_

"I'm going to kill them." Diane's words sounded warped and strange, as though he was hearing them from underwater. "I'm going to _destroy_ what's left of that goddamn city; Captain, I'm gonna _kill them-"_

"They're already dead, Diane." Cap'n's voice didn't sound normal; it was quiet and aching and-and _sad,_ and Ban trembled as he realized that he'd caused that, that _he'd_ upset his usually unflappable friend to the point that he wasn't even capable of pretending things were fine. He knew what it meant to upset adults (no food and cold corners and praying for scraps of anything so that you wouldn't starve, trying to nurse a broken arm while still stealing, lying bleeding in an alleyway and pressing your head to the cold stones, wishing that the chill would seep into your bones and freeze you solid), knew what it meant to stir the ire of the Sin of Wrath, and now Meliodas was probably mad and Diane was _definitely_ mad and Elaine would hate him. The world twisted and darkened around him, red-eyed monsters with too many teeth and sickly smiles and long, shadowy fingers that burned where they touched him crowding around him, whispering in his ears, and he could hear Diane crying and Cap'n trying to calm him, his own voice sounding panicky, and everything felt _wrong._

No, he thought as he plummeted into that burning darkness with a silent cry, everything _had_ gone wrong and it was _all his fault._

* * *

"Is he gonna be okay?" Ban shifted, barely registering the soft timbre of the voice in his ears. He didn't remember passing out, but he didn't want to open his eyes, either. A finger prodded his cheek gently and he felt a whine escape, instinctively curling away from the touch (just managing the fight the urge to launch himself across the room and well out of range). He didn't want to wake; in all honesty, he just wanted to _sleep_ for the rest of the day-a toddler's body would do that to someone, apparently. How long had it even been since he'd passed out? An hour? No, they wouldn't be all that worried if it was an hour. _How…_ "I'm worried," the voice whimpered, and he managed to place it at last- _Zeldris._ Zeldris was, for some reason, watching after him as usual, still thought of him as _worth_ that concern. _He really is just like Cap'n._

"I think so," another voice murmured, this one so familiar that he recognized it instantly, his blood seeming to freeze before flowing backwards as tiny hands (hands he couldn't protect anymore, hands that were _touching_ him, hands that could _grab_ and _hurt_ and keep him from running-hands that he knew somewhere in his bones had no intention of doing that, but increased his fear anyway) ran through his hair. "You should probably run and get Elizabeth just in case, though." There was a patter of feet on wood, and her hands ran through his hair again, brushing over his scalp. His eyes flew open at the touch, a tremble running through his body as his scarlet eyes met warm tawny ones. Elaine smiled, taking his hands in hers. "Hello, Ban."

 _Elaine._ Elaine was here, Elaine was watching him and holding him and he needed to run it wasn't _safe_ someone was going to catch him hit him _hurt him_ -window, get to the window, the window was safe and he could (what, jump out and fall and _die_ in this state? No, he couldn't, he wanted to run, not die, not yet). He tried to pull back, terror roaring in his mind, but her grip tightened and he was _trapped, trapped, nowhere to run, nowhere to go, gotta fight fight fight_ ** _FIGHT-_**

There was a shout of pain and the pressure on his hands released. Ban scrambled backwards at the loud noise, misjudged the distance, and tumbled off the edge of the soft surface he'd been on (a bed, he managed to register), a wail rising in his throat as the impact jarred the frail body he was trapped in. The wail died, though, replaced with a deep, burning self-loathing as he stared up at Elaine.

Blood. There was blood on her arm, seeping from a deep-looking cut, and there were teeth marks, and he'd-he'd _bitten_ her. He'd freaked out and sunk his teeth into the arm of the woman he loved (deep enough to draw _blood,_ she had to hate him now, had to _despise_ him), he'd _hurt_ her, done something he'd sworn never to do, and (as if to top it all off) had almost used his magic on her. He stared at her, barely even registering the fact that he was inching backwards, trembling so hard that his teeth (gods, he could still taste Elaine's blood in his mouth; he had the sudden urge to tear out his tongue) chattered audibly. _She hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me._ The chant ran through his head, never-ending and almost comforting in its use as a reminder that he really _wasn't_ good enough for her, that he loved her anyway despite knowing he would always only hurt her and now he actually _had_ and she'd _loathe_ him for it. _She hates me she hates me she hates me I hate me she hates me she hates me-_

"Ban," she whispered, and she was floating down towards him; he frantically shoved himself further into the corner, ignoring the protests of his bruised muscles (he didn't matter, Elaine mattered and if he wanted her to be safe he'd have to stay away). She was undeterred, eyes glowing gold (glowing, her eyes were glowing, that meant she was reading his heart _no no no don't look please it's bad and ugly and no one would like it if they saw it)_ as she knelt in front of him. "Ban, darling, I'm so sorry. I didn't think-I was just so glad to see you, and I forgot that you were scared."

Sorry? _She_ was sorry? But _she_ hadn't done anything, _he_ was the idiot who couldn't handle any contact, who could barely speak, who had all this power and was still _terrified_ when someone so much as lifted a hand in his direction. He opened his mouth to protest, but all that came out was a whimper, and the unearthly glow in her eyes faded back to that warmy tawny, as golden as a cat's. _Little lioness,_ he'd thought to call her once, but he'd never been able to voice it. It just...sounded like something Escanor would say, and he wasn't nearly as eloquent. Words weren't really his thing, anyways; he'd always gone for action as opposed to words.

But it wasn't enough. It was never enough, he wasn't strong enough or good enough or brave enough. _I will never be enough._

 _"No!"_ Elaine cupped his face in her palms and he sucked in a breath, eyes widening as they darted to hers. "Ban, you-you're the bravest, most selfless person I've ever met. _You_ showed me that humans could be honorable and kind and good, that it was possible for different Clans to work together-that it was _better_ when they did, because their combined power could augment each other's strengths until they created something beautiful and new." No, he didn't deserve that, didn't deserve it at all; she had to be lying, _had_ to be. He felt tears sliding down his face and didn't bother to wipe them away. He had already ruined _everything_ , so surely crying wouldn't worsen things any further. "You taught me that there was good in a world that had brought both of us nothing but pain and loss," she continued, and he curled into himself and _sobbed_. "Taught me how to forgive people, even though my grudges had festered for centuries. You brought the brother I loved back and showed me that not even kings are infallible, that they can be wrong and that they can grow like anyone else. You made me believe that friendship was just as important as love, that family was more than blood. You changed _everything_ for me, Ban, and changed _me_ -for the better." There was the soft pressure of lips against his forehead, and he curled into the touch, shuddering as he wept in her arms like the child he now was.

They stayed like that for a long time, and something in him ached as she drew away. "Come on," she told him, sounding cheerful (Ban rubbed at his eyes, managing to clear the tears away enough to see clearly). He let her gather him into her arms, resting his head over her heart, the warm thrum oddly calming to this smaller body, this quieter mind he was locked in. "It's almost dinnertime."

Dinner-it was dinnertime? On _Valentine's Day?_ He'd panicked so badly that he'd been out for-gods, what was it, twelve hours? No, sixteen, seventeen, maybe? Were the others worried? No, Cap'n knew he could handle himself. Everything was probably fine, probably _normal._ It was for the best-he didn't need them running around like idiots trying to make everything perfect. _Perfect_ didn't exist, and everyone here knew that, so it was fine-

"Ban!" He squeaked in surprise as Meliodas swept him up into his arms, cradling him tightly enough that the pulsating rhythm of his best friend's seven heartbeats thundered in his ears. Little tremors seemed to run through Cap'n's body, shudders of emotions that Ban couldn't quite place. It was all he could do not to stare at the shadowed green eyes and the relief and worry etched into his face-relief and worry meant for _him_. "Oh, thank the _gods_ -"

"Meliodas, you're going to startle him," Elizabeth interrupted gently. He could sort of make out the glow of her eyes (one as blue as the wide-open sky, the other as orange as a sunset) over his shoulder, the slim fingers placed lightly on his shoulder. Sympathy shone in those mismatched eyes, and he could see-not for the first time-why Cap'n loved her. Golden magic swirled around her fingers and he closed his eyes reflexively as it washed over him, giggling softly at the tingling that came with the healer's touch.

He opened one eye slowly when he heard Meliodas sigh, before squeaking again as he was passed back into Elaine's arms. Her tawny eyes glowed down at him, no doubt trying to read him again. It was still bad and ugly in there, but he let her see it this time, reaching up to graze her cheek with his stubby fingers-and she _smiled._ "I'm guessing that Meliodas was locked out of the kitchen?" she called over to Elizabeth, and Ban shifted in her arms, stirrings of impatience returning as he spied the table laden with food that _didn't_ look like a demon had infused it with his power.

"Only after he tried to kill us all with something he thought passed for cake," came a grumble. Ban peered over Elaine's arm to see Estarossa (sword in hand as usual; he could swear that the bastard was more attached to it than he was to Killia) heading towards the table, shooting a dark-eyed glare over his shoulder. He giggled as Cap'n made a face right back, looking hilariously put-out as Elizabeth snickered behind her hand.

"It was better than usual," Zeldris piped up, and Ban managed to catch a glimpse of him sitting on a stool, swinging his legs back and forth as he absently scratched Oslo's head. Merlin perched on the bar, golden eyes unreadable (mischievous, yes, but unreadable beyond that). "I mean, no one threw up this time, we just couldn't... _finish_ it."

"Finish it? I could barely stomach one bite!"

"Boys," Elizabeth cut in, her voice firm, clearly sensing the potential for a fight that would end well for absolutely nobody. "Let's just enjoy dinner, hm?"

Dinner was, as it turned out, delicious (he could've done better, of course-more salt for the roast, maybe a _bit_ of rosemary to add more flavor to the potatoes, steam the carrots instead of boiling them-but it was still very good). Oslo kept trying to steal meat off of everyone's plates (Zeldris and Elaine let him, both vehemently protesting Meliodas's complaints that the Black Hound would soon beg at every meal), Gowther had to have his book taken away because he couldn't keep track of a conversation otherwise (he kept glancing at the pages and going off on tangents), and Elizabeth confiscated at least ten magical items from Merlin, but the chatter and the mayhem made it (as always with the Sins) more fun-more _real_. No one protested when he offered up his plate for seconds, or called him a greedy bastard when he ate Estarossa's spurned potatoes. There were no blows or screams or deadly rages.

And then there was a cake.

Ban blinked at the cupcake that was set in front of him, a small, flickering blue candle set on it. The others had cupcakes as well, but they didn't have candles. _Did...is it…_

He looked up as Meliodas set Killia down next to him. "You didn't think I'd forget, did you?" Cap'n grinned ruefully. "Demons might not bother, but you lot-" he jerked his chin at Diane and King in particular (the former grinned, the latter turning red with indignance)- "dragged me to enough celebrations that I _may_ have picked up on the fact that they're important to the other Clans. And that's not even counting what Gloxinia and Dolor put me through…"

"Love you too," King muttered without batting an eye, and Ban giggled into Killia's soft tail, eyes roving over the table. Everyone looked happy (even Estarossa, who seemed to be studiously ignoring the fact that it was his birthday in favor of licking the frosting off the cake), and everyone looked like they _wanted_ to be there, like they were _glad_ to be together like this, even on a day that was supposed to be special for pairs.

Maybe, just _maybe_ , _this_ was what it was like to have a proper family.

Maybe Ban could be part of it this time.

Maybe he wouldn't have to _try_.

* * *

A/N: Happy Birthday Ban!


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10:** **In Which Winter Ends And Merlin Is Difficult (Again)**

King wasn't at all sure he had done the right thing. It had seemed like such a good idea at the time. "Let's take the kids to the festival," Diane had said. "The Captain and Elizabeth really need a break," she had added, her beautiful eyes shining as she smiled that impossible smile. And he had of course agreed; he always did. It was like a disease.

That had been a few days ago. Hawk Mama had been camped out near Camelot for a while now so that Arthur Pendragon could persuade Merlin to turn Ban at least back into the man he was meant to be. The kid was suffering beyond belief and he was expecting his own child after all; _how is Elaine going to cope if he doesn't change back?_ Their geographic position had its advantages of course: the citizens of Camelot were forever grateful to the Sins for the liberation of their great city and the prospect of seeing Zeldris the Executioner in miniature form was a serious draw for the punters, though the poor boy hid himself away a lot of the time. _Can't say I blame him, it's got to be humiliating._ So the bar had never been more busy and Arthur kept Merlin occupied, a serious bonus even if he had not yet made an impression on her conscience. But King was still uneasy. He'd rather have stayed in the north near Elaine.

And now the day had arrived; the day when he and Diane would take a mischievous witch, a tiny human, a not-quite-there doll and two somewhat loathed demons to Camelot's legendary festival to mark the end of winter. King had thought he had more time. The festival did not begin until five days after the first snowdrops appeared and it had been so unseasonably cold he had thought they would have another two weeks at least. Perhaps he could engineer a reason for Hawk Mama to move before he had to make good on his promise. But no: despite the cold weather the pretty white flowers had pushed their way above the frozen ground, and their human neighbours had scurried like ants to get the festival ready.

And there was no doubting how excited their charges were. "Woop!" Estarossa yelled at the top of his voice when Meliodas cheerfully excused his brother from training over breakfast. Ban's eyes grew to the size of saucers as Zeldris held his hand eagerly (the way the small demon had watched over Ban since Elaine's visit and the incident was almost endearing). Even Gowther looked mildly interested and started to make notes in the journal he had taken to carrying around. So far so good. But Merlin was smiling and although it was a smile that conveyed satisfaction it was not a happy expression which lit up her face. _Evil_ , King thought, _evil and calculating. This is not going to be fun. We'll be lucky to get back alive._

"Okay team, let's get going," Diane said with a signature smile as she stood up from the table, all of the children following suit. Although Merlin was no longer making the pills, Diane had enough supply to be human-sized for the day. King watched Meliodas closely through narrowed eyes and he swore he could see the Captain visibly slump, his shoulders dropping slightly as he rubbed the back of his head. This caused a momentary flash of resentment, but King did his best to push his temper into his boots. The Captain had not had a day off since, well, all this started and he definitely deserved a reprieve; Elizabeth had mentioned, her lips quivering with excitement, that the demon planned to take her flying somewhere. King gently moved his own resplendent gold and silver wings as he hovered above the Boar Hat's cobbled floor. He could understand: she must miss the power of flight.

"Don't hurry back," Meliodas called as the party made their way out of the door, Ban and Zeldris running ahead. King's annoyance rose once more in his chest at this blatant crowing, but he was distracted by Diane who grabbed his hand as he sank to the floor and pulled him along into a brisk trot.

"You'll love it! There's rides and games and stalls and loads of food. Elizabeth told me all about it," Zeldris gushed with excitement as he ran alongside Ban, the smaller boy grinning from ear to ear. "I'll help you win the games if you like," the demon added proudly.

"If they let you play that is," Merlin said slyly. "The people of Camelot might not take too kindly to their persecutor - they might even try and kill you."

At this Zeldris's eager pace stuttered and he bit his lip, Ban looking up at him with palpable concern. Even Estarossa looked worried, his eyes narrowing to slits.

"Diane, if it's all right with you I think I'll head back," Zeldris said quietly. "I'll only… get in the way."

"Yeah, me too," Estarossa agreed and Zeldris caught his eyes gratefully.

"Merlin!" Diane hissed sharply and King found his eyebrows raising in surprise. He had never heard her sound so cross before. "Stop it, and stop it now. Any nonsense out of you today and you will find yourself in big trouble. I mean it. The woman who raised me knew a thing or two about making you feel like crap - don't think I won't use those tricks on you if I have to.

"She's talking nonsense, Zeldris," Diane said reassuringly. "Meliodas had a word with Arthur personally and he's promised he's issued orders to everyone in Camelot to treat you as a child, as if nothing has happened. We all know you're sorry and that you didn't have much choice," she said quietly as she ruffled the small demon's hair. "And you'll be fine too Estarossa, same orders issued," Diane confirmed as she looked over towards the elder boy.

"Come on. Ban's not going to have nearly as much fun without you," Diane said as she knelt down beside Zeldris. "And if anyone has a problem they'll have to answer to me. And believe me they really won't want to do that. Not today." King looked at Diane sharply. She was fairly even tempered of course, and did not enjoy fighting, but he could tell her patience was fraying, as was his own. Being around five children was apparently enough to drive anyone to the edge of insanity.

The group walked along in silence, Merlin still smirking, the others noticeably subdued and Gowther with his nose in a book. How he did that without bumping into things and falling over King had no idea. It was some skill anyway. As King surveyed the party, he felt the dread course through his veins: that Merlin was clearly in a mischievous mood did not bode well for a harmonious day. He was on the point of calling the whole thing off when Diane laced her fingers through his, and he allowed his feet to keep on walking.

The festival was only a half mile or so away from The Boar Hat but it took a lot longer to get there than it should have done. Ban, who King was used to having to float next to in order to keep up with, was excessively slow: the pace they were forced to travel at felt like striding through treacle. It was alright when the boy was running, and they made a game of it at first, seeing how quickly the child could reach the next tree or bush, but he couldn't keep that up for too long. In the end Diane, more than fed up with Merlin's whining, hoisted Ban on her shoulders and carried him much of the way, the others trailing behind her. King took to floating on Chastefoil then: no point in walking if they couldn't hold hands.

As they reached the edge of the festivities, the atmosphere noticeably changed, the twinge of excitement and merriment carried forth on the air stirring the blood. Even King felt it, and from the way the children were acting they certainly did: all of them tilted their heads into the air, cautiously sussing out the new sensations. The distant sound of music and playful screaming floated in the slight breeze - no doubt from Camelot's notorious rides, designed by Merlin in her days as an actual-adult - and the smell of baking, sugar and grease tickled their nostrils. Ban started squeaking excitedly, bouncing up and down on Diane's shoulders as the giantess laughed, running over the last few yards to crest the slight hill. King once again caught himself admiring his fiancée's significant strength: although small Ban was pretty heavy, yet she ran as if he was nothing more than a feather. Why she gave him the time of day, let alone agreeing to marry him, King had no idea.

A large red and white striped tent surrounded by smaller stalls stood proud in the middle of the field, hoards of people clustered around sampling the wares of the festival. To his surprise, King sensed Estarossa edging slightly towards him, the gesture of trust catching him completely off guard. With a squeak, Ban scrambled off Diane's shoulders and grasped Zeldris's hand, pulling the reluctant demon closer towards the revelry, Gowther and Merlin trotting behind. King hesitated, then looked up at Diane who smiled reassuringly as she pulled him along after the children as they descended the hill.

"It's Merlin!" several humans called cheerfully as the party approached and King suddenly understood why the witch had been so keen to come. Of course. She was worshiped in this fair kingdom, not unreasonably King reflected, at least not if you were to consider her historic behaviour. _She's going to be an absolute nightmare. Why did I agree to this? Why oh why oh why?_

Merlin smiled beatifically at Camelot's subjects, waving regally with one hand as they made their way through the crowds. King flinched: despite Arthur's orders the looks coming their way were not all of the welcoming variety. There were several bulky humans wearing dark, practically murderous expressions who King was sure were following them around. A gaggle of mercenaries perhaps, or maybe some unfortunate citizens who had lost loved ones in the war and would defy their king's orders to achieve their revenge. Without meaning to, King edged a little closer to Estarossa as they continued on their way. He had been impressed with the elder demon of late; the dedication showed to his training, the _responsibility_ he was finally beginning to display marked him out as someone who could lead well if he wished to, and he had shown himself capable of making effective decisions. Still, Merlin's presence seemed to be keeping the thugs at a respectable distance for now at least, and of course he had Chastefoil at his disposal if these brutes wanted to try anything.

"We need to go on this," Merlin commanded as they pulled up to a ride where a mechanical dragon on wheels wizzed round a metal track, a bunch of screaming humans sitting inside the red and green beast. "I call it a rollercoaster," Merlin explained proudly as another dragon zipped past, the shouts coming from within the carriages sounding like a short bark as the car sped by. King looked at the twisting, twirling beast as it looped the loop and turned green; the contraption looked scary and decidedly unsafe.

"D-Diane?" King looked over at the smiling girl and his stomach dropped to see her bright eyes watching the dragons in awe.

"King! It looks great. Come on let's go!" The seven of them made their way to the back of the long queue of humans, all pointing excitedly or staring up at the cars with open mouths. King was relieved to see so many people in front of them; at least he would have some time to prepare himself for the coming ordeal. But no, it was not to be. Before he knew what was happening King felt the thunder of applause boom through the air as the excited crowd spied Merlin, who practically curtsied. The crowd pulled them forward, propelling them to the front of the queue and, to his horror, King realised they were standing right at the front. They would be going on next.

"Sorry, this one be too young," the gnarly old man running the ride said with some regret as he looked at Ban, who was holding Diane's hand. "Gotta be tall enough for the bar to sit in your lap, see?"

"That's okay," Zeldris said kindly as Ban's lower lip began to wobble. "I'll stay with you, Ban. We'll have fun watching. You others go on." Diane looked down at the small demon and flashed him a huge smile.

"That was a really nice thing to do, I'm proud of you. I'll stay and keep an eye on you," Diane said as she ruffled Ban's hair, the small boy smiling back as Zeldris took his free hand. "You go on King. I'm so jealous!" The last of her words came out with a slight squeal and King opened his mouth to protest, but before he could speak Merlin had pushed him into the car and the man had strapped him in. Estarossa and Gowther took seats behind and the car slowly, oh so painfully slowly, started to follow the track upwards towards the pale blue sky. King felt his heart racing in anticipation as they neared the top of the hill, knowing that what was to come was not going to be good. _I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to…_

"Aaarrrggg!" King yelled as the dragon sped down the track, careening at speed towards the ground as Merlin shrieked with excitement next to him. King could hear Estarossa whooping in the seat behind him; he could see nothing at this point. His eyes were squeezed shut. He felt the dragon lurch, along with his stomach, as the car began to spin around, looping into the sky and then crashing back down before twisting sharply to the left. Then it all stopped and King opened his eyes in relief, only to see that the car was climbing up yet another hill, this one even bigger than the last. Not caring what he looked like anymore, King summoned Chastefoil and clung to the pillow for dear life as the car sped along the track at impossible speed. It didn't stop the juddering, or the terrifying screech of the car's wheels on the tracks but it did make him feel better.

When the ride finally came to a stop, King stepped out gingerly, more than a little surprised to find that his legs still actually worked. The kids all hopped out, their faces shining with excitement. Estarossa looked as if he might faint with the joy; a weird sight to see on the face of the former Commandment of Love. Merlin's amber eyes were shining and Gowther was writing furiously in his journal. As King made a few tentative steps, his knees gave way and he collapsed into Chastefoil, floating the rest of the way towards Diane, doing his best to hold onto the contents of his stomach. In that moment, he wished he had forgone Escanor's breakfast.

"Are you alright, King?" Diane asked gently as he made his way to her. Although he did not know it, his face was a ghastly green colour, and he was sweating slightly, a weird sight to behold as Faeries didn't really perspire.

"I want to go on again!" Estarossa yelled gleefully. "Come on Merlin, I'll race you!" King looked at the boy horrified. He did not want to disappoint him (he'd been behaving so well of late) but he could not put himself through that torture again.

"No you don't. That's not even the best ride here. That is," Merlin said proudly as she pointed towards a tall ride which rose like a tower into the sky. Carriages slowly rose along its sides, resting for a moment at the top of the edifice before plunging back to the ground. Estarossa's eyes widened and Gowther stopped writing to examine the contraption more closely, his lips slightly parted.

"I'll take you all on," Diane said with a grin. "King, can you watch Ban and Zeldris?" King looked at Diane with as much gratitude as he could muster in his state of not-quite-feeling-right and she gave him a slight squeeze on the shoulder before setting off with the older children, who were running and jumping with unrestrained enthusiasm.

"Come on Ban, let's try out the games. Elizabeth said they're really fun. And they're on the ground," Zeldris said kindly to King as he started walking towards a wooden stall, pulling Ban along with him. King stared at the demon as he set off at a slowish pace, deliberately making sure that Ban could keep up. Maybe looking after the two of them would be fine after all. They were certainly both being reasonable enough.

Indeed, the next hour or so passed with relative ease. King's stomach returned to normal as Zeldris helped Ban try all the games they came across, guiding his hand to help him hook a duck (though King could have done without lugging round the massive teddy bear the boy won as a prize). Zeldris made the citizens of Camelot sit up and take notice when he picked up a massive hammer with no sign of difficulty and, with a fluid grace that was a sight to behold, smashed it down into a pressure pad, causing a tinkling bell to ring. This earned the boys yet another teddy bear, and King had to give up his seat on Chastefoil so that he could use it to cart the toys around.

It was when they made their way into the part of the fair that sold food that the trouble began. Meliodas had given King plenty of cash, and said to treat the kids to whatever they wanted, within reason. So when King caught Zeldris and Ban staring in awe as a lady dipped a stick into a spinning metal drum only to pull a ball of pink fluff out of it, he decided to let them try whatever it was. Both boys looked incredulously at the spun sugar in front of them, before attacking it with unbridled enthusiasm. King watched in amazement as the candy floss disappeared in a mere matter of seconds, wondering how on earth the pair of them were able to eat quite so quickly.

After that Ban was unstoppable. After a few nervous glances at King and some unintelligible chittering, it soon became clear he wanted to try whatever was for sale. He ate his way through anything and everything, from hot dogs to donuts, burgers to ice cream. The ice cream was a particular favourite; neither of the boys seemed to have tried it before and the expressions on their faces when they found it was cold made King chuckle in spite of himself. But everything was enormous for some reason. The ice creams for instance came in massive cones with three different flavours, the confection finished off with whipped cream, strawberry sauce and a chocolate flake, and before King knew where he was Ban was looking decidedly peakey.

"We should go and find the others now," Zeldris said gently as he took Ban's hand and, very slowly, started to lead him back to the games. But Ban could not make it. King watched in absolute horror as the boy started to choke, then gag and then, there was only one word for it, hurl the contents of his stomach all over the grass, splattering his clothes and Zeldris in copious amounts of vomit. Ban was so sick he couldn't speak, just retching and retching until his stomach was completely empty. Zeldris, despite the indignity of being covered in sick, patted Ban gently on the back and spoke to him soothingly until the vomiting stopped, hugging the boy as the tiny human burst into tears.

"You're a disgrace," a snarky voice floated towards them on the wind and King whipped round, not at all surprised to see Merlin looking down at the pair of boys, her face glowing with triumph. "Absolutely disgusting!" At this, Ban cried even harder and he looked up with palpable fear at Diane as she ran lightly towards them, her feet carrying her like the wind across the grass, Estarossa and Gowther following behind.

"You… selfish shit!" Zeldris growled as he rounded on Merlin and King watched in amazement. He had been about to reprimand his former colleague himself, or to try to, although he would have chosen slightly different words of course.

"How dare you speak to Ban like that!" Zeldris yelled as he glared at Merlin with coal black eyes as he continued to cling to the boy. "You have no idea what he's been through, or you do and you don't care. Either way you have no right to talk to him like that! He was abused. He cries in his sleep, and flinches if you get too close to him too quickly even though no one here would dream of hurting him. And why? Because no one helped him. No one _fed_ him and you wonder why he doesn't know how to control himself properly now he has access to food? It's not his fault! You're nothing but a bully! Now, you clean him up and get him back to The Boar Hat or I'll… I'll… I'll fight you!"

King could feel his head swimming with stress, his consciousness beginning to give way. There was no way Merlin would respond well to that; they were all in big trouble.

"Better do as the boy says young lady," the woman selling candy floss said as she looked down at Merlin with stern eyes, her hands curled in fists as they rested on her wide hips. "You wouldn't want his majesty to hear about this, I dare say." Merlin shot the woman a cold, calculating look, and then, unbelievably, a wind whipped around Ban and Zeldris, removing all traces of the vomit from them and their clothes. The ground also was suddenly free of the vile sick and King took a deep breath of the clean air as the smell dissipated. With a cold look at Zeldris which held nothing but the promise of violence, Merlin clicked her fingers and both boys instantly vanished.

"I just sent them back to The Boar Hat," Merlin grumbled as King turned to look at her, fear etched onto his face as he wondered if he could stay conscious for much longer. He could feel his grip on reality beginning to slip when Diane placed a hand on his shoulder, grounding him, the danger of passing out slipping away.

"Why don't you head back too, King? I'll stay with the others. I need to get them something to eat or they'll be unmanageable," Diane said quietly into King's ear. King nodded, and started on his way back when a shout from the candy floss woman stopped him in his tracks.

"Here. Take this for the two lads," the lady said as she handed King two bags of candy floss. "Tis not easy bringing up young 'uns, but you seem to be doin' a good job. Hey Derek, come 'ere," she yelled and King blanched as one of the thugs who had been following them earlier loomed into view, walking towards them with menacing steps.

"Sorry 'bout him," the lady added as she looked up at the tall, muscular man at her side. "This is me son, Derek. We lost our Bill in the war and truth to tell we were pretty cross with his majesty for pardoning those two," she said as she looked over at Estarossa, who was munching on a hot dog, a smear of tomato sauce decorating his nose. "But that boy of yours, he's alright under it all, that's plain to see. Just needed a good home is all. You take care of him. I'll let these know not to bother you no more," she added as she looked up at her son, who rubbed his nose with the back of his hand.

So King set off, floating towards The Boar Hat with two massive teddies and two bags of candy floss in tow. Maybe the old woman was right; perhaps things were going to be okay after all.


	11. Chapter 11

**In Which Arthur Comes To A Realisation (Or Several Really)**

A/N: This chapter was written before Chapter 256, which is when [spoilers!] it turns out that Arthur did not, in fact, utterly destroy his adversaries. Therefore it was written as if he had , because we play fast and loose with canon in this bitch (I mean, we turned two demon lords into kids; what more do you want).

* * *

" _Please_ unlock the door?"

Arthur grimaced as Meliodas's chuckle, audible even through the heavy oak, answered his question. "Sorry, Arthur, but you two have been dancing around each other for weeks. You need to talk." The sound of boot heels on the ground (Arthur took a minute to consider making a snide comment about his height, before sighing and shrugging it off; Meliodas used his short stature to his advantage and it was honestly more of a blessing to the Sin of Wrath than a curse. It certainly wasn't something he was self-conscious about) echoed, and the King of Camelot sank to the floor and wondered just how he'd gotten into this mess.

Well, he _knew_ how, but it wasn't entirely his fault. In fact, it was mostly the fault of the tiny demon currently pressing himself into the corner of the room (for taking over his kingdom and hurting his people and _Arthur if you go down that road you'll end up killing him, stop_ ), but... _okay,_ so maybe he'd been acting weirdly around Zeldris, but that was because the very demon who'd terrorized his people so much was now five-years-old and distinctly _terrified_ of _him_. And _maybe_ he'd been avoiding him because whenever he looked at Zeldris all he could see was the proud tilt to his chin and the flat shadows of his eyes-and whenever he saw that, he itched to grab Excalibur from where it hung on his belt and strike.

Arthur sighed, pressing his head against the cool wood with a grimace. If only he'd been able to convince Merlin to change them back, he could've gone back to quietly resenting the demons in peace. But Merlin was as stubborn as a...well, as a _boar_ when she wanted to be, and had pointedly ignored any attempt to appeal to her better nature, or even to her logical side. Arthur had learned long ago that if she wanted something to happen badly enough, she'd _make_ it happen however she knew how. He (and the Sins, apparently) had just never considered all of _this_ as being something she wanted.

 _But doesn't it make a little sense?_ a tiny voice whispered in his mind. _No one in this tavern has ever really had the chance to be a child, except for perhaps Elizabeth. Maybe she's doing them a favor…_ Arthur shook his head a second later, frustrated. _You need to stop siding with her all the time,_ he scolded himself, getting to his feet (he didn't miss the way that Zeldris stiffened at the sudden movement, but he ignored it-no plays towards his sympathetic side would work today, no sir, nuh-uh, not happening. End of story). _If you can't stand up to your mentor, then how are you going to rule effectively? Get it together, Pendragon, come on._ He knocked hesitantly on the door. "Er...Elizabeth?"

He wasn't even certain that she was there, but her soft laughter betrayed her position and he sighed with relief. _Oh, thank the gods._ "Um, do you have any...uh, suggestions?" He tugged fruitlessly at the doorknob. _Please unlock…gods-damnit, of course it won't unlock, I could break it down but that would be rude, oh damn._ Arthur glanced over his shoulder at Zeldris; he hadn't left the corner, but his eyes had brightened upon hearing Elizabeth's giggles. "Anything at all?" he added with some desperation, his voice coming out with a strangled gulp.

"If you're asking me to let you out, I'm afraid I can't." Her voice was more mischievous than he recalled it being, a soft hum of iron and electricity crackling under her mild tone. Why had he ever thought of her as less dangerous than the others? Why did _anyone_ bother underestimating Elizabeth Liones now, when her steel was so clearly visible, her fire there like a great golden beacon that screamed "danger" if you so much as looked at her family wrong? _Idiots,_ he thought, a bit proudly-he and Elizabeth had become quite close after the war (he'd always wanted a sibling, a proper sibling that looked out for you and cared for you, older or younger, and Elizabeth had laughed and called him her "brother-in-arms" enough times that they both believed it). There was a rustling noise like paper being shaken out, and Arthur blinked in surprise as a sheaf of parchment was shoved under the door, along with a small package of colored pencils. "Both of you, relax," her voice hummed a second later. "Everything will be fine."

"Elizabeth," Zeldris whispered, the pleading in his voice evident, and Arthur stiffened in surprise. It was the first word the demon had said to him all day, since Meliodas had put them in this incredibly odd situation, and he couldn't help but be startled as he noticed hope entering those deep black eyes, hope and fear and- _love._ One of the demons that had tried to kill Elizabeth now loved her as fiercely as everyone else who lived in this tavern, and gods, if that wasn't the perfect description for what Elizabeth could do then he wasn't sure what was. "Please."

The electric hum of mischief left her voice, and Arthur heard her sigh, a soft, sad sound. "If anything goes... _wrong_ , I'll be right here." Arthur grinned ruefully at the carefully veiled threat as he heard her footsteps traveling away from the door. _And she loves him back._

And he was never one to cross someone like Elizabeth when it came to love.

With a sigh, he scooped up the paper and pencils and carefully set them down within Zeldris's reach before sitting down across from him. Uncertainty and anxiety chased each other in circles in his brain as the Executioner reached for a slip of paper. _What will he draw? What am I going to see?_ And then, illogically- _what if he takes a pencil and stabs me in the eye with it?_ He tried to shake off the last thought, but soon other possibilities began crowding his mind, other ways that the Ten Commandments' "Piety" could murder him with the (suddenly frighteningly sharp) colored pencils laid out in front of them, other ways that blood could be spilled. He had no doubt that the child was still fast enough, still strong enough to kill him even in this state, and he closed his eyes, waiting for the blow.

All there was was a rustling, sliding noise, and he opened one eye cautiously to see Zeldris settling back into his corner, the paper and pencils now just a bit closer to him. _What…_ Suspicion and worry pounded at his head, but he shoved them back quickly. _Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he's…better? He's definitely not the same person, but I didn't consider how far that might extend…_ "Thank you?" he tried, pulling a silver pencil free, and was rewarded with a tremulous smile, one that was surprisingly _sweet_. _It's...cute._ He's _cute._ "Do you want the rest?" he inquired, pushing the paper and the rest of the pencils toward him. "I only need one piece."

Zeldris started, shoulders tensing at the sound of Arthur's voice, and the young king resisted the urge to wince. Something was fundamentally _different_ about this younger Zeldris, as though there was something _missing_ -or something not yet there? "Only need one," he whispered, voice small and very soft-very _young_. Definitely not two-hundred-and-fifty-two years old. Arthur shook off the thought, sliding the paper and pencils close enough for him to grab. Green was picked up first, hesitantly, and then blue and yellow. _No idea what that's going to be-or what I'm going to do, for that matter._ Arthur stared down at the silver pencil, before grinning ruefully. _Well, it's the same color as the stones in the throne room, so I might as well do that._

He set pencil to paper, and let his thoughts of home take him away.

* * *

The picture came to life in the page, swirling shades of silvery and gray building up the throne he'd fought so hard to gain. Arthur swept his pencil over the page again, carefully crafting Excalibur's hilt, before checking the sword itself for accuracy. The weight of the Holy Sword was familiar to him now, heavy, yes, but familiar, as if he'd been born to wield it. As far as he knew (as far as Cath had suggested, anyways, and a pang of grief struck him at the memory of the catlike creature), he had been. He ran his fingers over the scabbarded blade, taking comfort in its presence, before carefully sketching out the cracks in the floor around where the sword was embedded. His thoughts drifted to that first moment of _true kingship_ , when fury and grief and pain and _betrayal_ had combined and allowed him to pull the sword free, given him the strength to battle his idol Holy-Sword-to-magic (if only for a few moments). A small, sad smile crossed his face. _What would I give for a different ending? For it never to have had to happen at all?_

 _Almost anything_. Arthur closed his eyes, the room spinning to life around him- _Cath hurt, Meliodas a traitor, surrounded by enemies, no allies no saviors no chance_ -before opening them with twinge of regret. _This wouldn't be nearly as awkward if that_ hadn't _happened_. His gaze drifted from his own drawing to the surprisingly colorful bit of paper that Zeldris was steadily scribbling away at, the blue pencil clutched tightly in his small fist. A blue sky dotted with misshapen clouds rose above a shaky green hill, a crooked shape drawn carefully in brown and black. _That's..._ "You drew the tavern?"

Zeldris flinched back at the sound of his voice, the blue pencil clattering to the floor as his black eyes darted to the picture and then up to his own, wide with panic. "I-I-is it-I didn't-"

 _Oh,_ shit. "No, don't worry," he tried, reaching forward, but Zeldris scurried backwards with a whimper, eyes huge with terror as they landed on Arthur's sketch of the throne room. _Terror._ The demon who had crushed his kingdom single-handedly was _terrified_ -of _him._ Or...no, not _just_ him, he realized, watching as Zeldris tried to make himself smaller, knees tucked into his chest, eyes fixed on the drawing. _Of the castle-of Excalibur?_ Guilt swamped him as he recalled exactly _why_ he'd be afraid ( _blood soaking the floor, Excalibur flashing out, slashing his back open-)_.

"F-Father-Father c-can _hear_." The words were halting, barely audible, soft as shadow and shaky as sunlight. Zeldris's fingers found their way into his hair, pale skin stark against silky black locks as his grip tightened, the child gasping as he squeezed his eyes shut. "F-Father can hear and he's g-gonna take m-m-me a-and-and _g-get him out of m-my head I don't w-want him in there g-g-get out-"_

 _The Demon King. That's what this is about?_ Rage, sudden and furious and protective and _terrifying_ thundered through Arthur, and he gritted his teeth against the intensity of the emotions. _That fucking_ bastard _…it's a good thing he's dead, or else I'd have to go back and finish the job._ "Zeldris," he whispered, reaching for the child in an attempt to console him. Instead of calming, though, Zeldris _shrieked_ , a raw noise of fear and loss and hurt, before diving under the bed and out of sight.

And it was only when Arthur's fingers (quickly, instinctively, _so fucking naturally)_ came to rest on Excalibur's hilt that he figured out _why._ He took his hand off the hilt so swiftly, the metal suddenly seeming blisteringly hot. He fiddled rapidly with the scabbard, dropping the Holy Sword to the ground and stepping away from it in growing horror. He'd begun carrying the blade around after the war as a symbol to his people, a symbol that they would recover, that he could protect them this time, that everything might be alright. He'd shown up at the Boar Hat with that fucking sword _every goddamn day,_ never considering what it might mean to the people who lived there (Meliodas had seemed normal, if a bit wary). Estarossa was always stiff around him, though, eyeing the blade with a hint of fear, but Zeldris...Zeldris had been nervous when he neared, all color leeching from his face when the sword was within range. And how could he blame him? Arthur had fucking _flayed_ his back open, cut the demon's mentor in two right in front of him and then he'd gone on to talk about peace and pardons while parading around the weapon that had done it like he was some kind of _saint_. No wonder Zeldris had bolted-the last time Arthur had been so close to him, he'd been trying to slice him to pieces. Granted, he'd ended up not doing much damage at all, but watching someone impale themselves on a blade-a blade that then drew one of the most dangerous of the Sins to the battlefield in order to save them-wasn't something a child should've had to handle, _could've_ had to handle. They weren't built for that sort of experience, and when it haunted them as much as it clearly haunted Zeldris…

The fact remained that he hadn't done so without reason, of course, but he'd still done it, and he'd carried his sword around a child who a. had all the memories of his older self lodged in his brain, b. thought mostly in terms of battle and was always jumpy and looking for the next attack, and c. was a _child_ with no way to defend themselves if he decided to finish the job. "Damnit," he whispered shakily, running his hands through his hair. "Damnit, I…" But what could he say? _I'm sorry for not realizing that I was subconsciously threatening you this entire goddamn time? I'm sorry for forgetting that I cut you open with the same sword I marched around with? I'm sorry I brought the very weapon that caused so much pain into your home and then ended up having to be locked in a room with you and that weapon?_ He kicked Excalibur away before kneeling, hesitantly peering under the bed. A quivering mass of rippling dark magic shielded Zeldris from view, but he could just make out the curve of small, pale fingers permeating the shell as choked sobs wracked his small body.

Bizarrely, he was reminded of himself when he was small, nursing a broken arm after the first time Kay had tried to "train" him (he'd long since figured out that his jealous foster brother had been out for blood, but to a parentless six-year-old with no friends, everything Kay had done had seemed nearly godlike). Merlin had appeared in the middle of his room with no warning and he'd screamed in terror, racing past her and into the closet, slamming the door and clinging to the knob in a feeble attempt to keep it sealed against the intruder. She hadn't followed, though. Instead, she'd talked to him through the door, telling him stories and making small talk until he'd been calm enough to emerge.

Arthur closed his eyes tightly, leaning his back against the footboard of the bed. _Stories and small talk._ Well, the latter was clearly _not_ an option, and he hadn't had nearly enough experiences to have a personal story that wouldn't result in a further breakdown. _But...fables, maybe? No, no fables...myths! Myths might be good, I know a lot of those-and legends, too!_ "Once upon a time," he began hesitantly. _Which one, which one...oh, that one might be good._ "Once upon a time," he repeated more confidently, "there was a secret warrior race dedicated to protecting the humans of the world, destined never to be seen or thanked, but to always be their silent guardians, and they hid their children in a secret country so that their race would be safe forever. Except one warrior was not content to stay in the realm…"

Arthur told the tale of Risk, running through the old legend of the warrior girl who appeared to protect the humans when Holy Knights could not from memory. He'd always loved the tale of the Valkyrie and the name she'd taken for herself, especially the final chapter of her epic tale, in which she fought the monstrous Asmodei. He paused after Risk's Tale, glancing under the bed; the magic he sensed no longer seemed as volatile, but Zeldris was still huddled beneath a thick shield of shadow.

After Risk, he spoke of the Orchid, a venomous assassin who turned on her masters, melting the castle down to ash with an acidic potion of her own making, and after the Orchid, he told the story of the Rider, a man who escaped with a dragon from a gladiator ring they were both trapped in and returned to ravage slavers with his draconic partner. After the story of the Rider, he began the tale of the Six Gods and their sealed-off sister, the goddess of ruin, before realizing that that was maybe a sensitive topic and switching tracks to tell a story of their children, the First Knights.

Halfway through the story of the daughter of the fire goddess, he heard a rustle from under the bed. Hope rose in his heart, but he kept speaking, keeping an even tone as he continued on with the tale of Pyrris-and that hope was quickly replaced with joy and _fear_ as Zeldris's trembling form crawled out from under the bed and directly into his lap, curling up there. _I can feel his heartbeats,_ Arthur realized after a moment, eyes widening. Seven pulses thrummed in quiet tandem, as fragile as a bird's, and he took a shaky breath, hesitantly running his fingers through Zeldris's hair.

 _This isn't the person who destroyed my home. That person was broken and burnt so many times that he was reshaped into something durable, dangerous, but hollow and hurt._

 _This is someone...new._

 _This is someone who has a chance to be who he could've, should've been-someone who deserves a chance._

 _Someone who I won't hurt anymore. Never again._

(Outside, Meliodas and Elizabeth twined their fingers together, clinking their steins of ale against each other proudly as they shared a kiss.)


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Buckle up for a load more angst, ladies and gents! Estarossa's mental state is about to go horribly downhill, poor thing~ The culmination of which will be seen in future chapters.

First line lifted directly from a Peppa Pig episode, because this is the sort of stuff you have to watch/read when you have children.

 **Chapter 12: In Which Merlin Goes Too Far And Something Cracks**

"And so the princess, the dragon, the budgie and the frog all lived happily ever after," Elizabeth said serenely as she smoothed over Estarossa's hair, her fingers gently brushing against his forehead. The small demon sighed and snuggled into Elizabeth's side, enjoying the hug she gave him in return.

"Would you like another story?" Elizabeth asked. "We have time."

"Yes _please_!" Estarossa found himself grinning as Elizabeth pulled out another book. There were some benefits to being a child.

"Did your mother read you stories?" Estarossa asked, his voice slightly muffled as he fought off sleep. He realised his mistake straight away as Elizabeth stiffened at his side and he looked up with something approaching horror on his features. In the moment, he had forgotten who her mother was.

"That depends, I've had quite a few mothers," Elizabeth said with a forced laugh. "The queen of Liones was a wonderful mother. She used to read to me and my sisters all the time." Estarossa left it at that, squeezing his arms more tightly around Elizabeth by way of apology. She seemed to understand, and nuzzled the top of his head with her cheek as she settled more comfortably on the bed, preparing to read the next story.

"Once upon a time…" Elizabeth began before, suddenly, a loud crash and an indignant scream interrupted her words. Estarossa frowned; it sounded like the ruckus was coming from Merlin's lab and the scream definitely belonged to Ban, who should have been in bed but obviously wasn't.

"You have to go, don't you?" Estarossa asked, his voice quiet and small. Even as he emotionally prepared for Elizabeth to depart he clung to her more desperately, his fingers digging into her side slightly. _It's completely unfair. We all have storytime with her, that's the rule. Now it's supposed to be my turn. And this happened yesterday too. And the day before._

"I'll send Meliodas to tuck you in. I'm so sorry, Estarossa, I really am." Elizabeth gave him a brief, hurried kiss on the forehead before practically flying out of the room and running upstairs, her feet thudding on the steps in her haste. Seconds later, Estarossa heard Elizabeth's stern voice drifting through the ceiling. Evidently Merlin had done something pretty bad. Again.

A minute or so later, the door opened and his eldest brother entered the room, a sheepish expression on his boyish face. "I'm sorry champ. Merlin has… well let's say Ban looks a bit different now, and so does Zeldris though he was too cross to even make a noise. Elizabeth had to sort it out, I'm afraid. Merlin wouldn't listen to me…" The heartbroken timbre with which these words were said was enough to make Estarossa's blood boil with rage. He would make Merlin pay for upsetting his brother. Tomorrow. _And that's a promise._

"Shall I finish the story," Meliodas asked as he spied the book lying on the coverlet. "Where did you get up to?" Estarossa snuggled into the covers as Meliodas read, allowing the hypnotic words to wash him to sleep. His dreams were unsettled however, a smirking witch featuring over and over again in his nightmare.

* * *

The next day at breakfast, Estarossa understood what the fuss of the night before had been about. He did not need to be told. Ban was sporting bright pink hair, the spikes of it standing up proud on his tiny head, and Zeldris, who had no hair at all, was glowering in fury at his plate. Estarossa could not help but snigger at this; his younger brother had always been ridiculously vain where his hair was concerned.

"It will grow back, I promise," Elizabeth said soothingly, and she gave Zeldris a kiss on the cheek. This however did nothing to improve the small demon's mood, especially when Merlin sauntered down the stairs looking for all the world as if nothing had happened. Zeldris immediately got up from the table, breakfast unfinished, and strode out of The Boar Hat without a word or even a glance in Merlin's direction, pausing only to grab a bobble hat as Ban followed him on tiny legs, running like the wind to keep up.

"Merlin!" Meliodas yelled as he came in from the kitchen and his eyes locked on the witch, "You have gone too far this time."

"Meliodas," Elizabeth said soothingly, "we discussed all this last night. We have to put it behind us."

"No, I don't accept that. Her behaviour never changes, she has not even apologised and Zeldris is crosser than I have seen him since… well you know what I mean." Estarossa blanched slightly, remembering the day in Camelot when Meliodas had strode back into their lives, Elizabeth on his arm. Yes, Zeldris had been pretty furious then.

"See, we all do things we're not proud of," Elizabeth said softly.

"Yes, but not over and over again with this much enjoyment," Meliodas grumbled, as he rubbed the back of his head. "We have to stop this!"

"Yes and we will," Elizabeth said serenely. "Merlin, come here!" This last was said with a slight bite to the tone and Estarossa sat up in his seat a little. Next to him, Gowther, who had as usual been completely silent as he devoured a book, pulled his head out of the pages to observe the exchange.

"Arthur is dropping by today, he was going to take you and Zeldris to see the enchanted forest," Elizabeth said slowly and Merlin squealed. "No, wait!" Elizabeth warned as Merlin's eyes shone. "You are not going. Arthur will take Zeldris and Ban to the forest instead."

"What?" Merlin practically yelled. "But… but… I _found_ him, I _made_ him. Arthur can't…"

"You should have thought about that before you messed with their hair," Elizabeth said smoothly, completely unperturbed by Merlin's spluttering. "And Meliodas is right, you have not apologised. You can't because you're not truly sorry. So there have to be consequences. And this is your consequence. You have upset Zeldris and Ban so they get to do something you do not. End of discussion."

"Or you could change their hair back," Meliodas said hopefully. "Seriously Merlin it's a really sore point with Zel. Always has been. Can't you just…"

"Nah, I don't think so. Serves him right for being mean to me. I didn't even know it would upset him that much, that's just a bonus." Merlin floated in the air as she said this, her childish face alight with satisfaction. "His face was so funny!"

"Well, if you won't change their hair back you don't go to the forest. It's that simple," Elizabeth said, and Estarossa could tell she was trying to control her temper. "Now, sit down and eat your breakfast, and no more sassing," Elizabeth warned.

"Grow his hair back," Estarossa hissed as Merlin sat down. "I'm sick of you taking up all of Elizabeth's time. It's not fair."

Merlin laughed nastily as she looked at Estarossa, eyes glowing with mischief as she began to eat her buttered toast. "You poor fool," she said nastily before crunching her teeth into the dry toast. "That's not why Elizabeth doesn't want to spend time with you."

"What are you talking about?" Estarossa said quietly, wanting to yell but finding his blood running cold as he looked into Merlin's smirking face. "What do you mean? Elizabeth loves me."

"Don't kid yourself," Merlin simpered as she concentrated on her toast. "You killed Meliodas remember. In front of her. We were watching it all - I was there - she saw the whole thing. And do you know what she did after you left Mel's broken body and swanned off to destroy Britannia? Well, do you?"

Estarossa tried to reply, but the words stuck in his throat. Elizabeth had seen it? But how? Then he remembered, Ban had shown up and tried to stop him and seemed to have some prior knowledge of what had occurred, so presumably all the Sins had watched the fight, probably courtesy of Merlin. Elizabeth must have been there with them.

"She insisted I teleport her to Meliodas's body, with those swords of yours sticking out of it and his arm sliced clean off," Merlin said with some relish. "She cried for days. _You_ did that to her. To heal his body she had to find that arm, you know. She had to search round Vaisal for hours looking for it. And you think she'd want to spend time with you now? You think she could love you even? You are more of an idiot than that brother of yours."

Estarossa felt his throat tighten uncomfortably as he stared at his plate. Maybe Merlin was right. Maybe Elizabeth really was avoiding him. Maybe that's why she left him alone every night instead of finishing story time.

"Me on the other hand," Merlin said smugly, "she asked me to call her Sis-Sis. We go back millennia. She loves _me_ best."

Estarossa stared at his plate, his tongue refusing to form words. He felt slightly sick, the creeping nausea curdling in his stomach as he swallowed hard. She was right of course. After all he had done how could he have ever hoped that Meliodas and Elizabeth would care about him? He was _nothing_ to them.

"Merlin, you need to be careful about what you say," Gowther said primly, his eyes obscured behind his shining glasses. "You will cause a great degree of upset if you con… con… carry on. People's feelings are not to be played with, you taught me that," the doll added, his book laid down on the table at his side while he gave the witch his full attention. "My creator would be disappointed with you."

"I have said nothing but the truth," Merlin protested as she pursued her lips into a sulky pout. "You were there. You saw what a mess Elizabeth was. Don't tell me you think she's forgotten it. You know enough about memory to know that's not the case."

Estarossa took advantage of the bickering to quietly slip away from the table, creeping up to his room as stealthily as he could. Once there, he leaned against the closed door for a few moments, panic and horror washing through him in waves. _What have I done, what have I done, what have I done? Got to get away from here, start again, not make Elizabeth hate me anymore. Gotta run, run, run._

Mind made up, the panic in his chest receding slightly with the formulation of his plan, Estarossa opened his wardrobe, pulling out an old bag from the depths and shoving some clothes in. Then he went to the chest of drawers next to the window and carefully fished out an old sock, where he stored what little money he had. It was not much, just the odd coin or so, and for a brief moment Estarossa considered raiding Zeldris's stash before deciding against it. He would just have to find some way to earn money once he was on the move. He cast a longing glance at the polished wooden sword which was propped up by his bed. He wanted to take it, badly, but as a weapon it was worse than useless and would only slow him down. He'd need something more deadly.

After tiptoeing down the stairs, Estarossa waited, hidden in a cupboard next to the bar where cleaning supplies were kept. Diane and King came down together, sharing a few words with the others before heading outside. Merlin and Gowther left some time afterwards, followed by Escanor, who was mercifully wearing his glasses and from the snatches of conversation Estarossa could hear had apparently agreed to watch the remaining children for the day while Ban and Zeldris were out with Arthur. Once alone, Elizabeth and Meliodas cleaned up the bar, taking a lot longer than they should have done. Estarossa caught himself blushing as he saw Meliodas groping Elizabeth with abandon through the cupboard's keyhole, but although she sort of protested she didn't seem to really mind. The two were about to head upstairs when Elizabeth kissed Meliodas with an unrestrained passion and Estarossa felt his insides twist painfully with his guilt. They had really and truly loved each other, all this time. He should never have parted them, even temporarily.

With the coast finally clear, Estarossa carefully opened the cupboard door and slowly, ever so slowly, made his way into the kitchen. The place looked the same as when Ban had been in charge: the wooden spice rack nailed to the wall groaning with small jars of dried herbs, the black, gleaming stove, the pots and pans left to dry in the stream of sunlight pouring through the window and the knife block on the countertop, Ban's professional instruments sharpened to perfection. Quick as a flash, Estarossa reached up, taking a large knife for protection and a smaller one too. _I can use that to make fire, I think, or at least prepare food._ Estarossa had lived out in the wilds of Britannia before of course, but not without magic and, being honest, not without the other Commandments to rely on in the event of any problems. _Well, you'll just have to learn. How hard can it be?_

With a last look round at the place he had begun to think of as home, Estarossa stepped out of the bar, heading at top speed in the opposite direction to Camelot, which lay to the east. He did not want to run into any humans, nor anyone else for that matter. He set a brisk pace, bounding past boulders and wispy birch trees, stomping through meadows dusted with snowdrops and the odd purple crocus. Birds chirruped cheerfully, the sound reverberating through the still air as they searched out seeds and worms. It had rained ( _it always rains, stupid Britannia)_ and, in places, the ground was sodden with squelchy mud, impeding his progress and soiling his trousers. This was particularly the case where he came close to human settlements and the sheep and cows, all squashed together in what looked to be smallholdings, had churned up the mud with their hooves, the vile brown mixture smelling strongly of dung. But for once Estarossa did not care. Every step he took he was a little further away from The Boar Hat and the people he loved and had hurt so cruelly.

 _This would be so much quicker if I could fly_. Estarossa had tried, and tried, and tried some more but despite Meliodas's patient teaching he was no nearer to summoning his wings. Zeldris and Merlin had taken to taunting him occasionally, the pair of them exploring the sky as he remained locked to the land below, gazing up wistfully at their retreating backs. Zeldris has even taken Ban for a couple of rides, the small boy screaming for joy in his arms as they soared up to the sky. He had not complained, swallowing his disappointment, but he had felt left out. _Well, maybe if I tried it now - what's the worst that can happen?_

With great determination, his face scrunched up with the effort, Estarossa focused on the darkness swirling inside him, waiting for it to travel towards his back. As he felt the warmth of it slip up his spine he pushed at it with all his might, willing it to slide out across his shoulder blades. With astonishment, he felt the black substance push out from him body and, holding his breath, he directed more of the material to swell the small tendrils which had left his form. Slowly, the tendrils grew and thickened, flattening out into two wings and Estarossa felt his hearts soaring in triumph. Experimentally, he beat his wings up and down, patiently working out how to coordinate their actions, before finally pressing down on the balls of his feet and launching himself into the sky.

The rush of cold wind which hit his face as he finally became airborne made his blood surge with excitement. He had finally done it. _That will show Zeldris,_ he thought before remembering that, all being well, he would not see his brother again. The thought caused him some disquiet, and he flapped his wings more firmly, travelling north west with a wobbly gait, but still at remarkable speed. He was miles away from The Boar Hat, out of their way. _I hurt them. They are better off without me_.

Estarossa flew for hours, the sun rising over his head and scorching his back before sinking again on his left, the orange orb coating the land in splashes of golds and pinks. It meant the weather would be good tomorrow of course and this thought should have cheered him, but with each passing moment he became more and more miserable. His whole body ached from the continual adjustments he had to make to maintain his position in the air and he was seriously cold, the invigorating wind having seeped into his bones to freeze him from the inside out. To top it all off he was hungry, and he cursed himself for not taking any provisions from the bar before he started his journey. _Zeldris and Meliodas would not have been so stupid._ And, being honest, he missed his family. Surprisingly, it was Elizabeth's face which haunted him the most; her soft, gentle style was decidedly soothing. He would have given anything to be in her arms. Tears fell from his eyes, splashing backwards over his cheeks as he continued to make his way through the sky.

It was the smell that first attracted his attention, the mouthwatering scent of roasting meat which drifted up from somewhere on the ground. Eyes straining to see through the gloam of the twilight, Estarossa spied a building in the distance, the white painted walls shining in the light of the moon. The smell must be coming from there, he reasoned. His stomach rumbled audibly as he let the smell overwhelm him. He would have to stop, there was no way he could pass by without at least making an attempt on the food.

Retracting his wings slightly, Estarossa sailed to the ground. The long journey had helped him master the power of flight, and he easily made the descent, and he set down lightly on the path which led up to the house. Sneaking up to the window, Estarossa took a careful look inside, his eyes locking on two elderly humans preparing their meal. All he had to do was wait for them to go to bed and then sneak in and steal whatever leftovers he could find. Simple really. The humans probably wouldn't even miss the food. _Well, they probably will, maybe I can leave them some money. I don't want to upset them and they don't look that well off_ , Estarossa thought as he took in the threadbare carpet on the hard stone floor, and the battered wooden table and chairs which looked like they had seen better days.

Estarossa was just about to settle down into a hedge until the humans had gone to bed when the door opened, flooding the area with a soft, warm light. The silhouette of a thin woman wearing an oversized shawl stood in the glow, and Estarossa shrank back into the leaves of the shrub as far as he could.

"Come out young man, I won't hurt ya," the woman barked out as she held the door open wide. "I've seen the look in them eyes before. You're hungry, so come eat."

Estarossa stood up cautiously, wishing he could deactivate his demon mark and so pass for human. Once the woman saw who he was, what he was, all chance of a peaceful meal would be gone.

"Come on lad, come on," the woman coaxed more gently, "we won't hurt ya." As Estarossa took some cautious steps forward he kept his eyes locked on the woman's face, waiting to see her expression harden and the hatred creep into her eyes. But her face remained steady, firm but kind as she continued to beckon the young demon into her home.

"Don't you be worrying," the woman said reassuringly as she ushered Estarossa inside. "The war's over now, and you're just a young 'un. No need for upset. Come and eat." As she said this, a wizened old man pushed a plate of food in Estarossa's direction, and the small demon began to devour the meal placed in front of him.

"I've seen this mark before," the old man said gruffly as he examined Estarossa with a piercing gaze, his eyes boring into the demon's forehead. "You belong to that one, the Sin that goes mad."

"John," the old woman said, a bite to her tone. "Leave the lad a bit. Let him eat."

Not needing to be told twice, Estarossa continued to devour the food in front of him, barely pausing until it was gone, worried that it would be taken off him if he gave the humans any room for manoeuvre. When he had finished, the old lady stood up from the table, gesturing to Estarossa to join her.

"Stop here the night, then we'll see what's to be done with ya in the morning. Ya look beat," the woman said kindly as she ushered the demon into a small, dingy bedroom, barely more than the size of a cupboard. But it was warm and dry, if a little musty, a small fire in the hearth casting flickering shadows over the walls. Once he was alone, Estarossa changed into clean clothes and sank into the bedcovers, falling asleep almost immediately, his dreams haunted by images of Meliodas laying on the rough ground, eyes closed and unmoving.

* * *

The next few days passed peacefully enough. In gratitude to his human hosts, who unaccountably seemed to have taken a liking to him, Estarossa did his best to help out. He pulled buckets of water from the old well at the back of the house, swept and washed the stone floors of the place and tended the garden as best he could, allowing the old man to show him how to grow vegetables. Every time he tried to leave there was always some reason he could not go, but he did not really mind. It was a pleasant place to spend time. Until he was away from the cacophony he had not realised how terribly noisy The Boar Hat was. At first he had relished the quiet, then it had grated on his nerves, the moreso as he longed to hear his brother's voice and Elizabeth's tinkling laughter. Soon, he carried a permanent ache around in his hearts, a pain which grew a little each day as he went about his work. If he was being honest, he even missed Ban.

Estarossa was pulling up weeds from the path that led up to the house, carefully working between the cracks of the stones, when a shadow loomed overhead. Looking up in surprise, he was alarmed to see two familiar shapes descending down on him, the black feathers which grew out from their arms shining in the light of the sun.

"Estarossa!" Meliodas yelled as he saw his younger brother, who quivered in fear as the Captain set down with some force on the ground in front of him. _He hates me, he hates me, he hates me, he_ … It was only when Meliodas ran towards him and pulled him into an uncomfortably tight hug, almost enough to crush his lungs, that Estarossa began to feel a hope kindling in his breast. A few moments later, a small body worked its way between the two brothers, Zeldris wrapping his small arms around them both as best he could. Estarossa looked down, and was shocked to see what looked like streaks of tears on his younger brother's extremely pale face. He looked really upset.

"I thought we'd lost you," Meliodas whispered, his voice sounding hoarse and broken. "We've been looking for days. Oslo followed your trail for a couple of miles but then it vanished… I thought, I thought…" At this Estarossa felt Meliodas hug him even more tightly, his arms wrapped right around him. And despite the fact that it was awkward if he was trying to breathe properly, he had never felt so _safe_.

"Gowther told us what happened," Meliodas said a few moments later as he pulled back a little to look into Estarossa's face. "It was all lies. All of it. I love you. Elizabeth loves you. We all do." Estarossa was surprised to find that Zeldris took advantage of the gap which had widened between him and Meliodas to thrust himself more firmly into the space, wrapping both of his arms around Estarossa's middle and burying his face in his shirt. It was then that Estarossa noticed that Zeldris was shaking, and that his head was once more covered in spiky black hair.

"Thank you! Thank you so much," Meliodas said with relief as the elderly couple came out of the house. "If you hadn't sent that message…"

"It's nothin'," the old woman said with a smile as she looked down at Estarossa, handing Meliodas the young demon's bag, which was tied and secured as if ready for travel. "He's been a good 'un. Take care of him."

"We will, I promise," Meliodas said as he squeezed Estarossa's shoulder. "Here, please take this," he added, pulling a pouch from his pocket, the coins within jangling merrily. "It's the least I can do for your kindness."

"Nah, wouldn't dream of it," the old man replied, waving the proffered pouch away. "He's been useful enough."

"Well, the drinks are on us if you ever stop by The Boar Hat." Meliodas reluctantly put the pouch away as he turned towards Estarossa, a smile of relief ghosting over his face. "Will you come back home now? Please? We all miss you, even Merlin I think." Estarossa tried to reply, but his efforts were hampered by a tightening at the back of his throat and Zeldris, who was still clinging to him for dear life. Relief ran through him as he looked at Meliodas's earnest face - he had to be telling the truth - and he eventually managed a nod. Meliodas started to hug him again, and Estarossa wondered if he would ever breathe properly before both his brothers stepped back and he felt their energy surging as they prepared for flight.

"Thank you!" Estarossa called to the humans, finally finding his voice as he and his brothers summoned their wings and took to the sky, the humans waving at them as the sped back to The Boar Hat. Flying home, Estarossa realised just how far he had travelled; it took the best part of the day flying at speed through the piercing cold air to get back to the tavern as they sped past fields and wooded hillsides and the occasional stream. It was dusk by the time the three brothers set down outside the familiar barrel-shaped building, Estarossa's hearts soaring at the extremely welcome sight.

"Estarossa!" Elizabeth called as she ran out of the bar, stumbling slightly in her haste as she pelted down the stone steps and pulled him into a hug. "Thank goodness! We were all so worried! Are you hurt?"

"He's fine. The humans looked after him, thankfully. Now, let's get you inside and warmed up," Meliodas said cheerfully as he turned to Estarossa and Zeldris. "And Estarossa," Meliodas added, his voice lowered and after waiting until Zeldris had run past, "next time come and talk to me, please. I don't want you to worry like that ever again, okay? Elizabeth and I love you all the time, whatever is happening. Got it?

"I thought you were in your room," Meliodas continued, wrapping an arm around Estarossa's shoulders as he pulled him towards the tavern. "It wasn't until lunchtime that we realised you were missing and Gowther explained what had happened. I wish… I'm so sorry. I should have…"

"So you're home," a snarky voice sounded as they entered The Boar Hat and Meliodas whipped round, the obsidian mark staining his forehead in an instant as he looked at the girl. Merlin was floating in the air, swinging her legs back and forth and Estarossa flinched in anticipation of his brother's wrath. He could feel Meliodas's powers crackling like lightning through the room and he braced himself for the coming attack. Before Meliodas could strike however, a rush of black flames shot past them, engulfing Merlin in a ball of dark fire. The witch screamed, the flames extinguishing as she waved her arms and the smoke slowly cleared, revealing a rather indignant looking Merlin, unharmed for the most part but completely bald.

"Zeldris! How could you?" Elizabeth cried as Merlin fled upstairs to her lab, not even casting a glance over her shoulder in her rush to escape. "That was…"

"She deserved it!" Meliodas and Zeldris shouted in unison as they both glared at Elizabeth, identical expressions of righteous indignation in their coal black eyes. At this, Estarossa could not contain himself: after days and days of feeling sad and lost and alone, the sheer _relief_ and the sight of both of his brothers looking so funny was enough to make him lose it completely. Before he knew where he was, he was giggling, then chuckling, then laughing in earnest, Zeldris and Meliodas following his lead as the tension in room slowly drifted away.

"Alright, maybe so," Elizabeth said reluctantly, suppressing a smile as her eyes softened. "Well, come and eat anyway. You must be exhausted. An early bedtime for all of you is called for I think." And with that, she led Estarossa to the table, planting a kiss on his cheek as he sat down to eat.

A/N: What do you think? Have a suggestion, a prompt, more shenanigans? Comment below! We love feedback-the more, the better!


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: In Which Merlin's Game Begins (And She's Winning)**

Merlin has her reasons, as she always does, and who really cares if a few people happen to get caught in the crossfire?

But when it's Arthur...well, that's a bit of a different story.

With thanks to etherias dragneel for suggesting this idea.

* * *

 _This is completely and utterly unfair,_ Merlin sulked from the stairs, eyeing Zeldris and Arthur. The smallest of the demons had had the nerve to steal _her_ student right from under her-the same student that had _freaking slashed him open._ Ridiculous! She'd deemed it impossible that Arthur would ever be partial to any of the children in the Boar Hat (besides her, of course), but then Meliodas and Elizabeth had had that perfectly awful idea of locking them in a room together to get them to stop dancing around the fact that they'd tried to kill each other. What was even worse was that their stupid idea had _worked_ and now Zeldris was nearly as close to Arthur as he was to Elizabeth. He drew _pictures_ for the king, for the gods' sakes, and Arthur actually _liked_ them. _Ridiculous,_ she thought again, kicking her feet crossly. She could always cast a spell to make them forget each other or something, but Meliodas had taken her aside after Estarossa had been brought home and warned her that she was on "thin fucking ice"... and as powerful as she was, having the Captain against her was not something she wanted while in any form.

But the raw _injustice_ of it all still rankled, and she gritted her teeth as Zeldris flashed that shy, tremulous smile (an act, it _had_ to be a damn act, there was no way someone who had helped the Demon King ravage the world she loved so dearly would _ever_ be content to act so childish, to fall so easily into caring and being cared for by others) and offered Arthur a piece of paper. She snorted derisively at the delighted laugh that was startled from her student, jealousy burning in her as the demon was swept up into a hug with a squeal. _As if he needs your patronizing, Arthur; he's two-hundred-and-fifty-two years old._

Except he wasn't, not right now. No, now he was seventeen, the equivalent of five years old for a human, and terribly, ridiculously, delightfully fragile. In fact, so were the others, their ghosts made ten times worse by the shrinking of their bodies. Merlin couldn't help but feel as though they deserved it-after all, they'd razed her first home and laid waste to the kingdom she'd grown to love, nearly killed the boy who was like a son to her and worsened conflict after conflict. Every nightmare, every sob, every tremble, every step further into their increasingly-childish minds...they deserved every second of it, no matter how agonizing. Meliodas and Elizabeth didn't seem to think so, though, not even about _Estarossa._

Magic swirled angrily around her at the memory of that smug smile, the black flames that erupted from his hands and poured over the city of Belialuin. _No mercy,_ she thought, baring her teeth. _The bastard had no mercy and now Meliodas expects me to give him that courtesy? Bah. He had no mercy and now neither will I._

She could feel someone's eyes on her back and she squared her shoulders, schooling her rictus mask of rage into one of cool indifference before looking over her shoulder and shooting Gowther a smirk. "Oh, what is it _now?"_ she huffed, letting a childish note of petulance fall into her voice. Better that they thought her actions were those of a mischievous, malicious child rather than a grown woman who knew _exactly_ what she was doing. Or, really, better that _Elizabeth_ thought that; she was fairly sure that Meliodas knew full well what her game was, but her adoptive sister was as good a shield as anyone. "What, have I dredged up some terrible memory for you, too?"

Gowther merely tilted his head in response. To anyone else, the motion would've looked innocent, childish perhaps, but she saw the light in his amber eyes harden to flint. "Don't," the doll said oh-so quietly, "hurt them anymore. Or I will tell Elizabeth _exactly_ why you started this in the first place."

"As if you know," she sniffed, but worry pulsed in her all the same. She'd made sure to remove Gowther's magic as well, but during those few seconds where their minds had dueled before she'd gotten the upper hand… _Did he see it?_ Her gaze drifted to the child huddled behind Gowther, clutching at the doll's hand. Ban met her gaze and a shudder ran through his small body. Satisfaction ran through her as he tugged weakly at Gowther's hand, a whimper coming from him as he clutched the stuffed fox Elaine had given him to his chest like a talisman of protection. Perhaps she'd gone too far with him, but it was his fault for getting attached to a pair of _demons._ When he'd started siding with _them_ over her, she'd known it was time to drop the bomb, and it had worked out better than she could've imagined.

As if sensing her thoughts, Gowther's glare intensified, pale light flickering around his fingers-weaker, yes, but still rather potent. Merlin raised her hands placatingly, letting the hum of magic around her drop (she didn't miss the way Ban flinched at the movement, guilt flickering within her for a second before anger swallowed it up again). The doll's magic vanished in response and he gave Ban's hand a gentle squeeze before herding the tiny human down the stairs, shooting one last look of warning over his shoulder. Merlin curled her lip at his back, feeling resentment rear its ugly head. _Why do the others always side with them?_ she groused, drifting down the stairs after them.

"Hey, Merlin!" Arthur called cheerfully as she dropped onto the counter, crossing her legs with a soft huff. The light in those bright violet eyes, so cheerful and brilliant and unassumingly _happy,_ dulled the edge of her jealousy and she managed a fond smile, one that she quickly curved into a smirk as soon as Zeldris caught her eye, narrowing his dark eyes suspiciously. No need for the demon whose master had nearly killed her student _in cold blood_ to know how she truly saw him, how she ached to protect him from all that was wrong in the world. Better for him to think she saw Arthur as means to an end; it would be less likely that he'd be used against her that way. "There's a meeting in the palace today, if you'd like to come along. The courtiers..." he trailed off, shaking his head. She didn't miss the way his voice tightened on _courtiers,_ and guilt pulsed in her again. _What am I doing here while he's trying to run a kingdom? I'm his advisor, his mentor, I should_ be there-but it evaporated as soon as she saw Estarossa descending the steps, looking decidedly more exhausted and skittish than usual, replaced with cruel satisfaction. _Good. He deserves it._ "They want to see meet you in person," Arthur finished ruefully.

"You mean they want to see the Sin of Gluttony," she corrected, drifting over to hover in front of him; Zeldris immediately backed away towards Ban, and every non-human in the room could hear the soft growl of warning he gave. _This damned_ fool, _I'm not the one whose psychopath of a master put a sword through his chest. I'm not the one who wanted him dead, who annexed his kingdom. That was you, all_ you, _and I swear to the gods that I'll make you pay._

She shook off the anger and flexed her fingers lightly, grinning. "It's been a few months since I took _that_ form. It'll be nice to stretch my legs once more." Truth be told, she _missed_ her adult form, missed being taken seriously. The fear factor her smaller form inspired, however, was easily worth the annoyance of being physically looked down upon. Merlin glanced about the room, widening her eyes innocently, a flicker of fear and glee rising within her as she noticed the pulsing black markings spiraling along Meliodas's skin, as she noticed the envy and terror in Estarossa's eyes as he clung to his older brother's hand, as her gaze fell upon the too-quiet form of Ban and Gowther's eyes, filled with anger and icy protectiveness.

They feared her, she realized as she flicked her wrist, magic suffusing her as her body shifted forms in the span of a second, as her long coat flared out behind her once more, cloaked in magic and fire and pride..

And she _liked it_.

* * *

"I'm just saying, Lord Arthur-"

"King," Merlin corrected coolly for what had to be the hundredth time, crossing her arms as she arched an eyebrow at the master of the treasury. Arthur had been right; these men were vultures, itching to get their claws into a king they viewed as young and naive. _One who saved your asses while you were cowering from demons,_ she thought in disgust, her catlike smirk still frozen in place as she stared down the portly man enrobed in gold and red. _A king's colors worn by a bastard with no right to them._ She curled her lip slightly, letting a chill settle over the room as the ice she favored pulsed within her blood.

Arthur shot her a grateful glance, before fixing his gaze back on the treasurer, who quailed beneath the sudden intensity of those violet eyes. "Lord Uriel, I can understand your concerns for the palace and the...nobles." He raised an eyebrow on that, as if to say "really?" and Merlin felt ridiculously proud as a few of the courtiers glanced away as if ashamed. "However, the people most _directly_ hurt in the war have to be the ones we prioritize-namely, the people whose homes and livelihoods were destroyed when the demons invaded. The people _you_ want to...raise taxes for, is that it? After a war that hurt u- _them_ the most? _"_ Disgust rang in his voice, and Merlin's pride only rose as he squared his shoulders, lifting his chin. "I cannot, in good conscience, allow you to impose your will across citizens who are still recovering from the horrors of the Second Holy War."

Uriel opened, then closed his mouth, before clearing his throat and lifting his chin. "My King, with all due respect, you took the throne-" The _throne,_ Merlin noted. _The throne, not_ your _throne. How...interesting-_ "on the field of battle. It is no surprise that you'd be more sensitive to the many. However, you'll find that this proposal, along with the reinstatement of the Tithe, would work favorably for the good of the kingdom. I understand that you are young-"

 _Bullshit_. Merlin wasn't aware that she'd spoken aloud, that she was _standing,_ until she felt the shocked gazes of the court upon her. She didn't pause, though, calling upon the ice magic she loved as the room's temperature dropped, bitter, frozen wrath rushing through her veins as she stared them down. "Bull. Shit," she hissed again. "You call him a child, you call him _naive_ and a _fool_ and ignore the fact that sitting before you is one of _two people_ at this table who has stood on the field of battle and gone head to head with beings with the power of _gods._ He risked his life, over and over and over, for innocent people while you cowered in your manors and fled from the city you vowed to put above all else. Out of everyone in this room, _one person_ deserves his seat here." She was cloaked in fury, in rage, in so much anger directed inwards-anger now exploding out to pin the fools gaping at her. She lifted her chin, eyes blazing. "He is not a _child._ He is your _king,_ and your lack of respect for someone who is not only a king but a _hero_ is appalling."

"Merlin," Arthur said quietly, and she glanced over at him, at the child she'd raised, the boy who was practically a son to her. His violet eyes were sharp as cut amethysts, his posture relaxed, but there was an air of authority-of a quiet, predatory stillness-to him that made her lips curl up in a sudden smirk. _The true king._ "Gentlemen, we'll discuss this another time." He stood, nodding to the staring nobles before turning and stalking out the door. Merlin swept her gaze along them and grinned wolfishly, snapping her fingers.

Frost coated the table, and she turned and stalked out the door, the alarmed cries and gasps of the courtiers and advisers within like music to her ears. "You forgot," she said to the king, who gave her a rueful smile, "to mention that you were surrounded by vultures." _And where was I?_ she wondered with a sharp pang of regret, before shaking her head. _Protecting him-protecting all of them-from those...those_ creatures _that seem to have fooled the entire world into believing they're worthy of forgiveness, of second chances._

Arthur snorted, shaking his head as he made his way over to a wide balcony, leaning against the stone barrier. "I've got plans to dissolve the council, but if I did it outright, they'd circumvent me somehow." He tilted his head back, eyes shining. "But...I can make things _better_ , Merlin. It's-it's huge, and it's _terrifying,_ but I feel…"

"Like this is what you're meant to do," she finished, fingers subconsciously coming up to brush against the scarlet of her tattoo. Merlin had always been a wanderer, a shaper of Fate, a force that played in the shadows and danced with fire, daring it to burn her, daring it to show her face to the world. But when Meliodas-Meliodas, one of the two who had practically raised her, who'd showed her that all living things had a capacity for change, for humanity-had approached her, had demanded her help...that was when she became _the_ Merlin. When she became the most fearsome sorceress, the warlock whose magic, whose very _name_ was a death sentence. When the shadows had forced her out, and she'd claimed this world as _hers._ And when she'd accepted the title of _Boar's Sin of Gluttony..._ nothing had ever felt more _right_.

Arthur beamed, that wide-open smile she would've burned the world to ashes for, the one she would forever fight to keep on his face no matter what form she was in. "Yeah." His brow furrowed a second later, though, and he turned to her with the faintest of frowns. "But, um, Merlin...why, exactly, have you targeted Estarossa and Zeldris? And why'd you draw Ban and Gowther into it? I'm not...you don't have to change them back, and this isn't because Meliodas and Elizabeth asked me to. I just want to know."

Right. Because as wise-beyond-his years, as brave and noble and kind and _intelligent_ as her adopted son was, he was still seventeen, still young and forgiving and gentle. He was capable of being fooled, perhaps _susceptible_ to it-not when it comes from the vultures of his court, of course, but when it comes from two monsters disguised as children, monsters that seem to have fooled even a feared demon warrior of three thousand years...well, that was another story entirely. "They are...twisted creatures," she said carefully, eyes on the horizon. "They have done unspeakable things-worse than Meliodas, worse than-than me. They're…" _Nightmares._ It was their grinning faces that haunted her worst dreams, Estarossa's fire and Zeldris's silent shadows, shrill screams echoing in her ears, her father (an invalid, a kind man, her hero, her teacher) letting out one final howl as his skin was melted from his bones, smoke and ash searing her lungs as she sobbed, clawing at the ground as her world burned. Twin smiles, cruel and solemn and full of wickedness, hands that ravaged the many places, many people she loved _in her fucking house_. It was only a matter of time until their true natures reappeared and the family she'd built for herself would _burn_ when it did. _So I'll burn them before that._ "And as for Ban and Gowther...they were collateral damage, but they _need_ this. So I'm not changing them back until they have what they need."

Arthur met her gaze, a small frown on his face. "And the demons?"

 _The demons._ Merlin curled her lip, narrowing her eyes at the open skies. _How long until they turn all of this into ash and blood?_ "They will receive what they deserve."

No need for him to know that she planned to break them.

No need for him to know that they would be nothing more than dust and shadows when she ended her game.

No, there was no need for him to see the monster that lay beneath the skin of the Sin of Gluttony.

 _Not yet._ Her mouth curved into a wicked grin. _For the game has just begun._


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Another request chapter. Thanks to lickitysplit for the request for a closer look at the relationship between Meliodas and Elizabeth. Feedback always welcome!

 **Chapter 14: In Which The Best Mom Loses Her Temper And Even Merlin Says Sorry**

"Elizabeth!" the small voice whispered into her ear as she felt a sharp elbow dig into her ribs. "It's the morning already!" Elizabeth groaned, forcing her heavy eyes to open by sheer force of will, feeling her head swim slightly with the fatigue. _How can I possibly be so utterly tired?_ She forced herself to wrap her arms around the warm, spiky body that was all angles and bones in the bed next to her, willing the wriggling mass to stop writhing around and allow her the chance to return to sleep.

 _This would be nice, if only the boy would stay still for five seconds_ she thought with annoyance as this time a knee made its way into her stomach. Next to her, on her other side, she heard Meliodas sigh softly in his sleep as he rolled onto his back, blissfully out for the count as he continued to breathe steadily in and out. And peeved as she was she could hardly blame him. The room was pitch black, no sign of the dawn making its way through the diamond patterned window of their bedroom. Where Zeldris had got the idea that it was now the morning she had no idea.

"Will you come and play with me? Elizabeth?" Zeldris asked as he pushed a thin arm underneath her, wrapping her in an uncomfortable sort-of embrace. Groaning inwardly, Elizabeth fought to repress her anger. _He's only five, he's only five, he's only five. He doesn't know you were up half the night with Ban. Be patient. Be kind. Be… ouch! Does the boy never stop moving?_

"Okay, just give me a minute. You go downstairs and I'll be there soon," Elizabeth mumbled as, unable to do otherwise, she allowed her eyes to close.

"Alright!" Zeldris said excitedly before jumping out of bed and running out of the room, the sound of his footsteps padding down the stairs floating into the room moments later. Elizabeth tried to wake up, but tiredness overtook her and she felt herself drifting, the soft pillow cradling her head as she fell back into sleep.

It felt like mere seconds later that she awoke with a start, the sound of coughing coming from somewhere downstairs sliding down her neck like icy water. _Shit! He's poisoned himself. Why didn't I watch him? What is wrong with me?_ A second later Elizabeth was hurtling down the stairs in a panic, taking them two at a time as she ran, nearly tripping in her haste. The coughing noise was still coming, the short barks at least suggesting the boy was alive. From the direction of the sounds, Zeldris had obviously found some way to unlock the door to the kitchen which had remained off limits to all of the children since Meliodas had entered to find Ban gleefully clutching a cleaver in his right hand, swinging it experimentally above his head as Estarossa giggled uncontrollably. The small demon had been sent to his room while Ban was given a stern talking to, which only caused the toddler to cry, fat tears spilling pitifully down his face as Meliodas backed away, leaving her to comfort the sobbing child.

"Elizabeth, I made toast," Zeldris said between short, sharp coughs as she ran into the kitchen, the cold stone freezing her feet. He was standing on a stool next to the stove, a severely charred piece of bread, roughly cut and pierced through with a metal skewer standing proudly on the centre of a plate in front of him, one bite taken out of the blackened corner. "But it's a bit dry," he added ruefully.

Elizabeth stared at the boy in relief, wondering exactly how she should respond. "Good job," she murmured finally, forcing herself to wear an encouraging smile. "It was good to make your own toast. Next time, wait for me though. I can help you make it."

"I didn't do a good a job," Zeldris said quietly as he looked at the plate. "I burned it," he explained, his sad eyes meeting hers as his lip wobbled slightly.

"Let me show you how to make it without burning it," Elizabeth said softly as she pulled the demon into a hug. "Then you'll know what to do next time. But don't do this on your own again, please. I'm happy to make you breakfast." At this Zeldris cheered up slightly, and Elizabeth showed him how to hold the toast above the flames of the stove rather than directly in the fire, and to turn the bread to prevent it from overcooking on any one side. She was not a good cook, but toast was something she could actually manage. Just about.

* * *

About an hour later as Elizabeth was groggily playing a game for which she did not know the rules with a prattling demon who was talking nineteen to the dozen, Meliodas came down the stairs looking reasonably well-rested and holding a contented-looking Ban in his arms. The sun had now risen, the golden fingers of dawn creeping over the land and into the windows, brightening up the bar with a welcome light.

"Morning," Meliodas said with a yawn as he smiled at Zeldris, who ran up to give him a hug. "How long have you been up?" he asked as he turned to Elizabeth, his sparking green eyes doing nothing to quell the temper rising in her chest. Elizabeth felt her face flush with anger and her teeth grind together as she looked at the smiling face in front of her.

"You mean this morning or overnight?" she asked sharply as she shot Ban a cold look.

"What?" Meliodas asked, a playful smile still hovering on his lips.

"I've been up with Zeldris for over and hour, and I was up with Ban for the best part of the night. While you slept!" Elizabeth felt the fine hairs on her arms stand to attention and her hands curl into fists at her sides as Meliodas shot her a guilty look. "We have to do something about his sleeping," she hissed as she looked sternly at Ban. "I gave him four cups of milk, no five maybe, I don't know. They all blur into one another at that time of the night."

Meliodas rubbed the back of his head with his hand, Ban still curled up against him in the other arm, his spiky blue hair mussed up. "He can't help it," Meliodas said sadly. "You have to remember…"

"You have no idea why I'm upset, do you?" Elizabeth said furiously, the tone of her voice causing both Zeldris and Ban to look up at her in apprehension. But although she knew she should stop, should rein in her temper in front of the kids, she was just too angry, too livid, too apoplectic with rage to allow reason to take control. "You. Have. No. Idea!" With that, Elizabeth strode out of The Boar Hat, slamming the door loudly behind her. Let that wretched demon look after the kids on his own for a change.

Elizabeth walked and walked, practically running in her anger across the grass and into the trees of a nearby copse, her long hair flying out behind her as she pushed her way through the branches. Finally, exhausted, she flung herself down at the foot of a large oak, leaning her back against the rough bark. The soft breeze and the chirruping of birds was soothing to the soul and the goddess could feel her annoyance beginning to dissipate, the dappled sun on her skin as it shone through the leaves lulling her gently to sleep. She closed her eyes, the rush of adrenaline having left her feeling even more exhausted than before, and she could feel herself slipping into sleep.

"Elizabeth? Why are you sleeping here? This is not a bed," the flat voice sounded from beside her, pulling her abruptly out of the slumber she had only just achieved. Her eyes snapped open to find a pair of amber orbs staring at her through shining lenses. Gowther's head was cocked to one side, his pink bob of hair falling slightly to the right as he examined her carefully, as usual a book tucked under his arm.

"I know," Elizabeth managed to grind out through her clenched teeth. "But…" She found she could not continue. How could she possibly explain to the small doll who was gazing at her curiously that she was so tired she just didn't care, not even if she woke up all stiff and sore. _I just need to sleep._

"I hy… hypothe…I think Ban kept you up last night." Gowther intoned, his face still tilted to the side. "You know that Merlin has been drugging the milk, of course."

"What?" Elizabeth asked sharply as she stared back at the doll, a cold horror suddenly squeezing her chest. "What did you say?"

"It's nothing that will hurt Ban, it just keeps him awake," Gowther explained slowly, as if he were talking to a child. "I saw Merlin add the potion to the milk yesterday. My creator taught her to make it. The demon generals used it to keep their armies awake even if they'd been marching for days. It's very effective. I esti… I work out that Ban won't sleep properly for at least a week."

Elizabeth felt light-headed, weak and, above all, furious. She tried to stand, but her legs felt like jelly, refusing to bear her weight. "Merlin was aiming for Zeldris really," Gowther continued to explain. At this, Elizabeth suddenly found the energy to move, and she sprang to her feet, running back to The Boar Hat as fast as she could. As she set off, she heard a very slight rustling behind her and knew that Gowther was making his way back too.

Elizabeth burst through the door, breathless and sweating slightly, small beads of liquid dripping down her back. Meliodas was smiling, setting some toast down in front of Merlin as Estarossa shoved porridge into his mouth. Zeldris and Ban both had enormous glasses of milk in front of them, their hands curled around the vessels. "STOP!" Elizabeth yelled at the top of her voice causing the whole party to jump. Meliodas opened his mouth in surprise as Elizabeth grabbed the glasses of milk and threw them out of the window, smashing the pane in the process.

"Elizabeth, what…" Meliodas began, his eyebrows raised quizzically.

"She's drugged the milk," Elizabeth seethed as she turned to look at Merlin, who wore a smug smirk on her face, and Elizabeth could see that she was swinging her legs back and forth under the table. "That's why Ban isn't sleeping. She wants to keep them all up."

"Merlin!" Meliodas looked at the girl, the mark on his forehead inking to black as his eyes turned to pits of darkness. "I told you, you were on thin fucking ice did I not? This is too far…"

"You don't care about anything!" Merlin screamed, her golden eyes flashing with anger. "They're killers!" She pointed a surprisingly long, bony finger at Estarossa and Zeldris as she spoke, both demons looking back at her in confusion. "They deserve this! I hate them, and I hate you. Why are you always taking their side?"

"Merlin," Elizabeth said more gently as she stepped in front of Meliodas, who was visibly pulsing with rage, his darkness rising like a cloak around him. Now that Merlin was displaying some real emotion, her bright eyes slightly damp with unshed tears, Elizabeth found the anger she had been nursing was suddenly gone, replaced with an overpowering love and concern. "What's the matter, dear?" she asked softly, stepping forwards towards the girl, her arms outstretched. "Arthur told me you were upset and that it was something to do with Estarossa and Zeldris but I didn't realise… please just explain. I'm sure we can make it right."

"Nothing will make it right. What they've done is unforgivable," Merlin cried as she ran from the room, her feet thundering up the stairs followed by the sound of a door slamming in the distance.

"I'll settle her," Meliodas growled, a deep purple haze shifting like mist all around him. "How dare she! I'll…"

"You'll do nothing of the sort. Can't you see there's something seriously wrong?" Elizabeth gasped incredulously, feeling her wrath spring back to life as her gaze met Meliodas's pits for eyes. "We need to understand Merlin's side of the story. We need…"

"She just tried to drug my brother and my best friend, and that's after what she did to Estarossa last week," Meliodas yelled, the mark on his forehead growing as he spoke. "She needs to be taught a lesson. She leaves The Boar Hat. Today. I will not allow her to wreck havoc like this."

"Please, listen to me," Elizabeth begged as she placed her hands on Meliodas's shoulders. She pushed out her powers, trying to calm the rage inside him, but met with resistance, her power being forced back into her hands. _He's defying me, how DARE HE, after everything we've been through!_ "You heard what Arthur said," she continued as reasonably as she could. "Merlin must have her reasons. She needs understanding, not punishment. What will throwing her out of her home achieve exactly? She'll just get more upset and then where will we be?"

"In a home with no troublemakers," Meliodas spat out. "Much happier, with my brothers and Ban and Gowther safe from the witch."

Elizabeth looked at Meliodas aghast. _How can he be so cold? Merlin has looked after him for years, has risked her life for him. Doesn't he care?_ "Meliodas," she said forcing herself to use a placating tone, trying again to soothe the demon she loved. "Merlin is _hurt_ , and you constantly badgering her is making it worse! Why can't you just learn how to handle her? You have to stop…"

"She is a menace," Meliodas shot back, his anger still blazing. "She is torturing Zeldris and Estarossa, belittling Ban and, alright she's leaving Gowther alone for the most part, but that's not much to be said in her favour. She needs to be taught a lesson. Now! _You_ spoil her. _You_ protect her. Her behaviour is _your_ fault."

"What?" Elizabeth said, feeling her own power prickling in her fingertips as all of her fury burst like flames in her chest and she took a step back from Meliodas the better to glare at him, more than annoyed to see that he merely responded with a cold stare. "How fucking _dare_ you say that to me! I keep this family running. I do everything for these children. Who looks after Ban in the night? Who takes care of them and calms them down when they squabble? Who…"

"Elizabeth," a small voice sounded behind her and she whipped round to see Ban, Zeldris and Estarossa staring at her in horror. Gowther had come in and was standing just inside the door, busily making notes in his journal. "Please, I'm sorry, we're sorry, we didn't mean to upset you. Sorry," Estarossa continued, his lip quivering as a tear splashed down his face. In an instant, Elizabeth was kneeling before him, pulling him into a warm hug.

"No I'm sorry, Esta. I'm sorry all of you," Elizabeth murmured as she glanced round at the other children who still looked like they had seen a ghost. "You shouldn't have heard any of that. Meliodas and I love you all. I am so sorry."

"Come on Esta, let's go. I need to get out of here for a bit. You too Zeldris, Ban," Meliodas said, his expression slightly softened but his mark still in position. Zeldris hopped down from the table in an instant, running up to Elizabeth and kissing her on the cheek, a soft 'sorry' whispered into her ear before he let his brother usher him outside. Ban squeaked and followed, grabbing hold of Zeldris's hand. "Gowther, you want to come too?" Meliodas asked. The doll nodded slightly, putting his book back under his arm and stepping out of the bar. Elizabeth wanted desperately to call Meliodas back, but she knew deep down that this would not be a good idea. So, still fuming but her heart heavy with regret, she watched her boys leave, every step they took causing her more pain.

Tidying up the breakfast things was even more of a chore than usual. Elizabeth found she was constantly looking towards the door, hoping that the boys were coming back, her ears straining to hear the continual shouts and laughter that they brought with them. But they did not come. The Boar Hat was almost empty. Diane and King had gone to visit Elaine and Escanor was off somewhere; he had taken to excusing himself during the day as much as possible since Ban had broken his glasses and Merlin had not yet made him a replacement pair.

 _Merlin_. _I'll have to tackle her, this cannot go on. Meliodas is right about that at least, even if he is being too harsh. I_ have _to find out what is wrong with her._ Mind made up, Elizabeth made her way up the stairs, all thought of sleep and tiredness driven away by the anguish she now carried. _Maybe Meliodas was right. Perhaps I do spoil her. But she's… she's always looked out for us. How can I send her away?_

"Merlin," Elizabeth said softly as she tapped on the door to the lab. "It's me. I'm on my own. Can I come in? Please," she added in response to the deafening silence which followed her address. "I just want to talk to you."

Elizabeth waited for what seemed like an age, and was just on the point of heading back down the stairs when the laboratory door creaked open and Merlin's face came into view, framed by shadow from the dark room. Her eyelashes were clumped and she had dark circles under her eyes as she stared definitely at Elizabeth, her expression one of abject disgust.

"Leave me alone," Merlin said defiantly, her voice harsh but with a note of a whine. She had definitely been crying, Elizabeth thought as she examined the unhappy girl's face. "I don't need you. I don't need anyone."

"Let me come in, please," Elizabeth insisted, sticking her foot a little way into the gap of the door to prevent Merlin shutting it. "I know you are hurting, but I don't know why. Nor does Meliodas. That's why he's being…" _An absolute ass, an incontrovertible idiot, a perpetually annoying…_

"I'm not telling you anything," Merlin practically snarled and Elizabeth recoiled slightly. She sounded like a wounded animal. "You want to send me away, and it's not fair!"

"I know, it won't happen. I won't let it happen." The words were out of Elizabeth's mouth before she could stop them. All she knew was that the girl in front of her was hurting and she wanted to ease her pain. "Please, Merlin, I don't understand."

"And you never will! No one will!" Merlin tried to slam the door but Elizabeth held it open, refusing to let the girl have her way. Eventually, Merlin gave up and shrank back inside, allowing Elizabeth to enter her sanctum. She cleaned the rest of The Boar Hat, save her adult comrades' own rooms, clearing up after Estarossa, Zeldris and Ban, making their beds and brushing away the biscuit crumbs which collected in their bedsheets. Even Gowther's attic received the occasional bit of attention from a feather duster. But Merlin's lab had been off limits to everyone on all but a very small number of occasions ever since she had taken to existing in her child form. Now Elizabeth looked at it in shock. It was a completely different room.

"What is all this?" she asked tentatively as she gazed around, taking in the many books written in a language she did not recognise, the large square of yellowing parchment which Merlin had affixed to the wall and the drawings done with charcoal which dotted the room, all of them showing scenes of fire and death. "Merlin, what is going on?" Elizabeth moved a step towards the girl, who backed away with a snarl.

At a loss to know what to do, Elizabeth searched through the new additions to Merlin's sanctum for some clues as to the cause of the girl's inner turmoil. Her eyes fell on the poster on Merlin's wall, showing a shining city, filled with tall spires and neat, thatched houses. It was a place wholly unfamiliar to her, but from the care with which it had been placed squarely in the centre of the wall opposite Merlin's workstation, positioned so that she could keep and eye on it at all times, it must be important.

"Where is this place?" Elizabeth asked, dredging up the very depths of her memory. She seemed to recall something, a parchment like this alongside a map spread out on a table in her mother's palace. Yes, Ludoshel and Mael were there, pouring over the picture, choosing a strategic place to attack.

"It's Belialuin!" Elizabeth gasped as the realisation hit her, remembering the glee on Mael's face as he described the plan of attack. "Oh Merlin, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. My Clan…"

"Are dead, and have paid for their sins," Merlin practically yelled as she glared at Elizabeth, her hands on her hips. It was then that Elizabeth noticed the girl was still in her nightclothes, the simple white gown hemmed with small pink flowers falling loose over her form. "Nothing more to be done." Merlin's face scrunched up as she said this, and Elizabeth took a tentative step towards her, feeling relief when Merlin launched herself into her arms and sobbed into her shoulder.

Elizabeth held the trembling girl, smoothing her hair as she continued to cry. _How long has she been holding this in? The poor girl._ Elizabeth struggled to find words which would comfort her colleague, her sister, the girl, the woman who had looked out for her for millennia even when she did not know it. _Surely there must be something I can do, or say!_

"Have you been back?" Elizabeth asked tentatively. "It's been centuries now. The land will have recovered, it will be beautiful again, if in a different way. It might help…"

"Nothing will grow there!" Merlin gasped through her tears as she clutched at Elizabeth's shirt. "Purgatory fire. It kills the soil. It will always be dead and burned…" Merlin broke off as her sobs wracked her body and she shook with the strength of her grief.

"Purgatory fire?" Elizabeth wondered, her brow creasing with thought. "But… but my clan can't wield… oh!" _Of course. It was not only my mother who was betrayed, whose patronage was sought then rejected. Merlin did the same to…_

"The Demon King!" Elizabeth whispered and Merlin suddenly stopped crying, but her breathing remained fast and ragged as Elizabeth continued to hold her. _But no, he wouldn't have gone himself, of course, and Meliodas had joined Stigma, I'm sure of it. So who…_

"Is that what this is about?" Elizabeth asked, her voice feeling forced and coming in a strangled whisper. "Was it… did they…Estarossa and Zeldris..."

"You mustn't say a thing to The Captain," Merlin cried as she pulled back and stared into Elizabeth's eyes. "He must not know. Promise me!"

"But Merlin, I have to tell him," Elizabeth groaned, pressing her point as the girl opened her mouth to protest. "He has to know why you are hurt. He'll find it a lot easier to forgive you if…"

"I should not need his forgiveness," Merlin protested as she stamped her foot. "He should not be protecting those murderers! Over _me!_ It's not fair!"

 _No. No it is not. No one asked Merlin, or the others, or me if we were happy having Zeldris and Estarossa around._ She remembered she had not been too thrilled, particularly about Estarossa who was decidedly creepy and had done nothing to atone for his behaviour during the war and before. Zeldris had tried of course, and it could be argued was instrumental for the Second Holy War going the way of the allies, and he had supported Meliodas, but the other was nothing more than a killer, and a sex pest at that. She had insisted on Estarossa being stripped of his manhood before he took up residence in The Boar Hat, a condition to which Meliodas had agreed in an instant. Now she thought about it, she should have perhaps been more suspicious about that.

"I don't want him to be _told,_ I just want him to _get_ it," Merlin shouted, a fierce wind blowing round her as she lost control of her emotions, flicking her long, dark hair into Elizabeth's face. "He's an idiot, and he needs to learn to take notice of other people's feelings."

 _Well that is true. Look at his behaviour today… he just doesn't understand._ "Alright," Elizabeth said reluctantly, as she pulled Merlin back into a tight embrace. "I understand. I'll keep your secret. But you should tell him. He's… he can be… you know…"

"A stubborn, pig-headed fool," Merlin concluded and Elizabeth felt herself smiling as the girl pouted up at her.

"Maybe, but he is a good man, whatever mistakes he makes," Elizabeth said, being struck by the truth of her words even as she said them. "He just wanted the best for everyone, and I don't think he knows, about Belialuin I mean. He had left the Demon Clan when its destruction was ordered."

"I know that," Merlin said dismissively, "otherwise I would never have helped him all this time. But he should be able to work it out. He should just _know_."

"He's not a mind-reader," Elizabeth said gently. "If something is wrong you have to tell him." _And so do I._ "But it's up to you when. If you're not ready now though don't leave it too long. It will only make you crosser." At this, Merlin snorted and Elizabeth smiled slightly. "I know how you're feeling, believe me. Now, let's go downstairs. Whatever your thoughts for goodness sake apologise for trying to drug Zeldris and for actually drugging Ban. I was up all night with him last night." Merlin said nothing to this, but had the good grace to look uncomfortable, shuffling her feet as she looked at the floor.

Pressing her hand into the small of the girl's back, Elizabeth ushered her charge down the stairs, her breath coming more easily as she heard the sounds of cheerful conversation below, Meliodas's voice sounding as sunny as usual. She felt the relief wash over her and she and Merlin made their way into the bar and she saw the boys eating lunch at the table, all looking happy as they munched on the sandwiches Escanor had left for the day, Gowther propped on a chair with his nose in a book. Meliodas stood up as the pair entered the room, his green eyes softer than they had been for weeks.

"I'm sorry," Merlin said her eyes downcast, her body angled squarely towards Ban and Meliodas and away from the two demon children. "I shouldn't have done it."

"That's okay, Merlin," Meliodas said as he stepped towards the girl, bending down on one knee as she approached. "And I'm sorry too. I got carried away this morning. Please don't do it again though. I don't know why you're upset but this is not the way to deal with it." Merlin opened her mouth, then closed it again and Meliodas nodded, making his way back to the table. He missed the look of pure loathing which Merlin shot at Zeldris and Estarossa, the promise of future mischief clear on her face.

* * *

"So I want some help overnight, and in the mornings, please," Elizabeth said softly as Meliodas held her hands in his. They were sitting on the bed in their room, all of the children having been delivered to sleep after an unusually peaceful afternoon. Even Ban, for whom Merlin had made a sleeping draft that sufficiently powerful to counteract the drug he had already ingested, had been heard snoring when Meliodas opened his door to check on him. "I need to sleep too," she continued, her heart lightening considerably as Meliodas returned her smile.

"Of course, I'm sorry, I should have thought of it," Meliodas said ruefully as he leaned over and kissed Elizabeth tenderly on the cheek. "Wake me up, okay? I don't know what it is but I'm sleeping really heavily at the moment. I didn't even know Ban was up last night.

"You know, I love you," Meliodas said suddenly as Elizabeth made to stand up and get ready for bed. The words took the wind out of her sails and she slumped back on the covers, her eyes springing to Meliodas's face. He was smiling, but the smile was unsure, tentative, as if he was worried about her reaction. "I always have, but seeing you look after the children… I love you even more. You are an amazing mother, you know that? If you want kids of our own sometime, well there's no one else in the world I'd want to experience that with. You are wonderful."

"You mean, you don't mind having kids?" Elizabeth asked as she squeezed Meliodas's hands more tightly. "This hasn't put you off?"

"Nope, not now. It did at first, to be honest. I thought I never wanted to see a young person again. But you're so good with them, and seeing them respond to you, even Merlin, I've changed my mind. I want to have that with you, I really do!" Meliodas protested as Elizabeth looked at him, an expression of utter incredulity on her face. "So tell me when you feel I'm not pulling my weight, okay? I want us to do this together."

Elizabeth sighed as Meliodas pulled her into a tight embrace and their lips finally met, thinking it was just as well that Merlin had fixed Ban's sleep for the night. There was more than one reason she did not want to be interrupted just now.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: In Which Zeldris Is Overwhelmed, Gowther Helps And Merlin Has It Out For Everyone**

"School?"

Zeldris gazed at Gowther, slightly bewildered, as the doll nodded with a tiny smile-the closest thing, he presumed, to full-on jumping up and down and squealing in delight. "Not a proper school, of course," he added after a moment, furrowing his brow. "But there is much you and your brother have missed while you were sealed, and while I'm certain you've heard most of the important-" Judging from the look on Gowther's face, he certainly didn't consider it that vital- "bits of history, you've missed three thousand years worth of literature and science and new tactics and all sorts."

"Sounds bo-ring," a voice grumbled from behind him, and Zeldris stiffened as Merlin drifted into view. Golden eyes flashed with amusement as Gowther spun to her, crossing her arms as she hovered above them (smug as ever, damn her). He felt fire crackle around his fingers as she curled her lips in a wicked grin, fire that quickly evaporated as a small figure pressed into his side. Ban, he realized, and his anger only rose. After Merlin's near-constant tormenting-especially after the festival disaster (he could've killed her for that, would've killed her for that if he'd had even half a chance)-and the argument they'd accidentally witnessed between Meliodas and Elizabeth (he still shuddered when he thought about it, his stomach turning unpleasantly in shame), Ban had grown utterly terrified of his former comrade, visibly nervous whenever she entered the room and distinctly scared when she tried to approach him, often hiding behind whoever he was closest to at the time. During one particularly awful day, Merlin had grabbed Ban's shoulder and he'd jumped, hitting his head on the edge of a table and bursting into tears. The tiny human hadn't been able to be alone with her since, and Zeldris felt...felt glad, almost. Mean-spiritedly, yes, but still happy , because that was one more victory against her and it meant Ban felt safer.

…How did I end up attached this quickly? Before he could ponder it, however, Gowther placed his hands on his hips and lifted his chin, looking almost defiant as he stared at Merlin. "This is for the benefit for Zeldris and Estarossa and Ban, the former two of whom missed much while the latter received no formal education." That sense of of vindictive glee rose up in Zeldris again as Ban trembled against him, Gowther's eyes flashing behind his glasses. "Needless to say, you were not invited."

Merlin curled her lip in a sneer. "As if I'd want to be with you blithering idiots. Yuck." She tossed her head imperiously, the boar symbol on her neck practically shining-another practiced movement, Zeldris realized as Gowther seemed to almost deflate a bit. The others had lost their brands upon shifting (he was grateful that the Demon Clan's crest was biological as opposed to a tattoo like theirs; at least she couldn't take that away from him and Estarossa), but she still had hers and flaunted it regularly. It was like some sort of badge to the Sins, he'd figured out, a symbol to a group of outcasts that there was at least one place they belonged...but Ban and Gowther had their brands ripped away from them, as if being thrown out into the cold while Merlin was allowed to stay, and she knew that and exploited it at every turn. The whimper that came from behind him at the sight confirmed it, and Zeldris scowled darkly at her as Ban shuffled back a few steps, tugging on his hand with a desperate whine. Her golden eyes glowed with amusement, and frustration rose up in him at the look of false innocence she shot his way. You aren't fooling anyone-not even Elizabeth. Not anymore, at least, and you're just here to bother us so you should just go. He stomped his foot without even thinking about it, the petulant gesture coming naturally (almost disturbingly so, maybe he should stop acting like an actual child, but it was so hard now) to him as he glared at her. You always ruin everything and make everyone upset and it's not fair!

Gowther saved him from having to do anything, though, stepping forward with blazing eyes and a small frown on his face. "You're not welcome," the doll said simply, though his voice was icy. "You have hurt not just those your vendetta extends to, but your own comrades."" He felt Ban flinch behind him and gathered the human into his arms, shooting another glare over his shoulder at Merlin as the witch bared her teeth in a sly grin, seemingly unperturbed as Gowther continued. "You have done so to an extent where one of the people who has stood by your side since the beginning-someone who has walked through Purgatory itself-is now scared of merely being in the same room as you." Ban wailed at the mention of Purgatory, and Zeldris bit back a curse. He'd been lucky enough never to catch a glimpse of the domain his father had been trapped in for so long, but the horror stories had frightened even him when he was younger. The mere name of the hellish dimension was enough to strike fear into most demons; how bad would it be for someone who'd spent what equated to thousands of years wandering it-someone whose mind was already fractured and fragmented into their childish state far more deeply than his own?

( Well, a small voice whispered, perhaps not that much more deeply , but he shoved the thought away. Meliodas and Elizabeth trusted him to take care of his little brother Ban, and he wasn't going to let them down anymore.)

Merlin opened her mouth (whether to protest or sneer at them again, Zeldris wasn't sure), but Gowther simply turned around and started heading for the stairs. "Come on. Estarossa is already upstairs."

Ban stirred slightly, peeking up at him through scarlet eyes wet with unshed tears, and he felt a rush of protectiveness sear through him at the frightened expression on the small human's face. Minuscule fangs chewed his lower lip for a moment before he choked out, "Srossa?"

Zeldris tightened his grip around him, letting magic boost his strength for a moment as he carefully scooped Ban up, feeling momentarily proud. Ban was tiny, even for a human child; it was normally hard to tell-he hadn't exactly met loads of human children to compare him to-but despite the steady diet and general better-ness ( is that even a word? He felt heat rush to his face in embarrassment at the thought; he was over two-hundred, for the gods' sakes, he should be able to at least remember whether there was a proper word for something) of his care, he was still worryingly thin, almost delicate . "Estarossa's in the attic with Gowther," he explained, ignoring the burning sensation of Merlin's gaze boring into his back. "We're going to go up and read stories and…other stuff, I guess."

"Vawerie taw?"

"I bet Gowther has Valkyrie's Tale," he agreed, setting off at a trot toward the staircase that led to the attic. "We could see if he has anything new, too." Curiosity tugged at him as he neared the steps and he halted, peering up into the shadows. He'd only been up there once or twice, but there had been books everywhere , scattered across pillows and warm blankets, like a sort of sanctuary of peace and comfort. Excitement started to filter through the near-constant whirl of worryworryworry ; after Arthur (the king of Camelot was surprisingly kind and gentle, and he found himself clinging to him embarrassingly almost every time he visited) had told him all of those myths and legends (so different from the stories Elizabeth told him, but every bit as good), he'd desperately wanted to hear more , more stories about unlikely heroes and gods and monsters, about adventures and magic and freedom.

Maybe I'll find some up there. Zeldris started up the stairs, only for Ban to tighten his grip and whimper "Kiwwa" in a small, shaky voice. He froze, blinking in confusion- Kiwwa, what's a Kiwwa? Maybe Meliodas will know, or Elizabeth, maybe I should go find them, right, I should- before biting back a cry of frustration. Killia. Ban's stuffed fox, the one that Miss Elaine had given him, the one he was rarely without now. He glanced over his shoulder, back down the hall where Merlin was probably waiting to scare them again, and tears of helplessness pricked at his eyes. I-I can't get it, I can't help him, I-I-

"I have it." Gowther suddenly appeared at the top of the steps, waving the toy triumphantly. Relief settled over Zeldris even as he wrapped his arms more tightly around the now-squirming Ban. "And Valkyrie's Tale," the doll added as he finally reached the top of the steps, shutting the door behind them. He set Ban down, the squealing toddler immediately reaching for the fox, latching onto it. "Merlin should not be able to enter; I set up wards when I still had my magic-ones that should resist her Absolute Cancel, to a point at least."

Zeldris wasn't exactly paying attention anymore, though, left entranced by the sheer amount of books in the room, stacked floor to ceiling on haphazard shelves. Novels were scattered across the floor, each open to a different page, some dog-eared and loved while others were shiny and new. The entire room smelled of parchment and ink and candles, and he found himself drifting over to a shelf with drawings tacked up along the sides, reaching up to touch one of the worn covers. So many, he thought reverently, sliding one off the shelf and sinking down onto a warm pile of blankets, already thumbing through the pages. The title read Daughters of the Sea, the words crisp and clear despite the smudges and the worn paper, and he beamed without realizing it, nestling subconsciously into the safety of the blankets. In the books, there was no cruel sorceress who masqueraded as a innocent victim, no terrified human children he needed to protect, no older brothers he had to forcibly stop himself from clinging to constantly. There were just adventures and whole worlds of different magic and creatures and beautiful things that he could escape with.

The stories were safety and protection when the rest of the world was unsteady beneath his feet, and he curled into the warmth of the shadows, flipping back to the front with a small sigh of relief.

"You always loved that."

Zeldris jolted, the book falling to the floor as Estarossa flopped down next to him, his brother's dark eyes downcast. "Reading," he clarified, uncharacteristically quiet, his gaze vaguely unfocused. "If you weren't training, you were in the library or in your chambers with at least one stack of books nearly twice your height, just… constantly . Especially after a battle-after your first battle." Pale silver hair almost hid the eyes of his older brother, but Zeldris could see the dark circles that had formed beneath them, the slight hollowness of his cheeks, the suddenly sickly-looking pallor to his skin. "I never really got why ."

Zeldris blinked at him in confusion, at hands that trembled slightly and eyes that drifted unsteadily from shelf to shelf, lingering for a moment on Ban and Gowther as the latter explained something to the former, who was paying rapt attention to the Sin of Lust as they pored over a map together. "Estarossa, are you okay?"

He was waved off, a hand flapping dismissively at him as he laid back on the blankets, closing his eyes. "M'fine. Just…tired. Sleeping's been weird lately, but it doesn't matter-don't tell Elizabeth," he added suddenly, propping himself up on his elbows and giving Zeldris a look that 100% failed at being stern, the look in his wide eyes more pleading than anything else. "She doesn't need to be bothered any more than she already is. This-it's fine. I'm fine."

Zeldris scoffed despite the sudden pulse of dread in his gut, picking up the book again as his brother rolled back over on the pile of blankets. He was so obviously lying -not about being tired, maybe, but about why he was tired. "If you say so," he muttered, already flipping back to the front cover. At least he didn't say I couldn't tell Meliodas, he reasoned, turning the battered novel over and over in his hands as he tried to beat back his worry The thick paper cover was inlaid with some kind of iridescent stone, positioned over each other to look like scales, a serpentlike tail twining over the faded words, convoluted and elegant. Just like her, he thought, scowling at the reminder of Merlin's acidic smirk and poisonous laughter. Boar Sin...bah. She should've been the Serpent Sin, it suits her more than Diane.

He shot a glance at Estarossa, whose breathing had slowed, the normally unsteady pulse of his remaining magic within him smoothing out. And he's asleep already. Of course he is. He huffed a sigh and opened the book up again, delving into the story of the siren and the pirate queen she hunted with glee. Halfway through the first chapter, a small weight settled against his side and he looked over to see Ban curled against him, the human's thumb sneaking towards his lips as drowsy red eyes fluttered closed. Gowther sat down next to him a moment later, looping one arm around his shoulders and pulling him off-balance to the point where he had to lean against the doll to stay upright, a squeak of embarrassment escaping him. It quickly vanished into a warm feeling of safety as Gowther's fingers ran gently through his hair, and he reached out to take Estarossa's hand with a low hum.

Books had always been his sanctuary, where he fled when he couldn't handle the weight of the world pressing down on his shoulders.

Maybe…maybe his family could be like that, too.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: In Which The Boar Hat Crew Rally Round A Common Foe**

Vision blurry in the early morning light, Ban rubbed his eyes, swinging his legs and jumping out of his bed. His own bed, with a mattress and everything. Even after all these weeks and months it still took some getting used to. The memories of his life as a child had become so much clearer, sharper, more _frightening_ after Merlin had cast her spell and it worried him that he was still so constantly scared. Even when in Elizabeth's arms, he sometimes felt his heart racing in his chest, afraid that the soft comfort would turn into the slaps he was used to. If anything, his anxiety had grown; he was always on edge, always looking for where the next meal would come from, always dodging imaginary fists.

Well, nearly always. "Good morning," a sleepy voice called as Zeldris padded into the room. "I thought I heard you were up. Let's go downstairs. I can make toast now!" the small demon added proudly. Ban instantly ran to his side, feeling the dread in his chest slowly slide away as Zeldris gently took his hand, leading him out of the room and helping him down the stairs, counting them as they went. In a sudden rush of gratitude, Ban flung his arms around Zeldris's middle, the two boys stumbling down the final few of the steps, their laughter chasing away the last of Ban's fears.

"Thank you," Zeldris murmured as he helped Ban to his feet. "I… that was nice."

"No pwoblem 'tall," Ban sang with a smile, still surprised to hear his voice so high-pitched. He planted a kiss on Zeldris's shoulder before skipping towards the kitchen, missing the demon's confused but pleased look.

Zeldris stretched up a tendril of darkness to pick the kitchen door lock, before dragging one of the bar stools up to the stove. "Look, Elizabeth showed me how to do this. I'll make us toast and then I'll read you Valkyrie's Tale. I know that's your favourite." Ban watched with apprehension as Zeldris hacked at the bread Escanor had left out on the counter, cutting the slices at weird angles, the ragged edges prone to burning. And to his surprise, Ban found he didn't really care. It was food, it would be edible and someone was making it for him. With a squeak, Ban ran to the larder and pulled the butter in its heavy dish from the bottom shelf, toddling back unsteadily to Zeldris with his prize.

"Oh, that's a good idea!" Zeldris enthused as he plonked a slightly burnt piece of too-thick toast down on a plate, using the bread knife to spread way too much butter over the slice as Ban winced internally. _This won't be edible_ , he thought glumly. "There, you have this one. I'll carry it for you. The plate's quite heavy." Ban followed Zeldris back into the bar, hungry enough to demolish the meal. It tasted as bad as he had expected but did not make him sick. Zeldris joined him a few moments later with his own mangled toast, apparently eating the monstrosity with enjoyment. At least Meliodas did not pretend his food tasted good.

"Valkyrie's Tale is in Gowther's room. Let's go get it, he won't mind," Zeldris said as he stacked the plates, leaving them on the bar for the adults to deal with before wiping down the table with Meliodas's old cloth. "I don't know washing up yet," he said sadly as Ban gave him a disapproving look, "she'll only have to do it again if I try, and if I leave them here maybe Mel will do it." Ever since Elizabeth had lost it in front of them, all of the boys had been doing their best to help out. Zeldris had learned some basic chores, Gowther kept them amused in his attic under the pretext of teaching them history (in reality they were just reading whatever they could get their hands on) while Estarossa confined himself to his room unless he was reading with them. Ban caught Zeldris's look of concern as they passed by the older demon's door, and wondered if there was something more that he needed to worry about. Merlin was bad enough. And Elaine.

Elaine. It had been weeks since he'd seen her and Ban was growing increasingly anxious. Now they were positioned not far from Liones, Diane and King were almost permanently stationed in the Faerie King's forest, such was the concern for her health. She was not in serious danger, but she was uncomfortable and still finding it difficult to eat solid food. The faeries were angry he had learned, blaming him for her suffering. He would have to persuade Meliodas to take him there so he could see her and replenish the tree; that would calm things down. He didn't want people to hate him: when had that started? He was Ban the Undead, nothing was supposed to bother him.

As the two boys made their way up the stairs, Ban heard a sharp knock at the door and instantly he froze. It was too early for customers; the sun had barely risen half an hour ago. _Bad guys don't knock, bad guys don't knock, bad guys…_ Ban suddenly felt an arm round his shoulder, Zeldris's fingers squeezing him reassuringly and his breathing began to slow; he took deep breaths, trying to quell the rising panic. _Get ahold of yourself, you're not really a child anymore._

Zeldris stepped cautiously towards the door, using a chair to peek through the keyhole. "It's a man," he hissed, "looks like a tax collector." At this Ban relaxed slightly; annoying as they were Britannia's tax collectors were a bunch of weaklings, barely capable of subduing a weasel, certainly no threat with Meliodas around. "I'll go get Elizabeth, she'll know what to do," Zeldris called as he ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time, his feet thudding like stones on the wood. Ban stared round the bar, suddenly alone, trying to block out the incessant sound of banging on the door, unsure of whether to answer it or to hide.

With a sigh of relief, Ban stepped back away from the door he hadn't realised he had begun to edge towards as Elizabeth came pounding down the stairs, nearly tripping over in her haste. She pulled back the chain and yanked open the door, a small blob of a man with a clipboard falling inwards as it opened. With a disgruntled look, the man looked up at Elizabeth and dusted himself off deliberately with tiny hands before making a note on his parchment, his bald pate shining merrily in the light of the sun.

"Um… how can I help you?" Elizabeth asked, a fake smile on her lips. Ban remembered the way he would hide whenever the tax collectors paid a visit to The Boar Hat, extinguishing all the lanterns and ducking down below the the bar, Meliodas elbowing him in the ribs and giggling as he pulled faces at his friend. He really missed those days; the Captain was still nice to him of course but it wasn't the same.

"Her royal highness, Queen Margaret, has received several complaints that this hostelry is unsanitary and serves meals not fit for human consumption," the man whined and Ban's eyes caught the crest of Liones sewn into the man's waistcoat. "I, Harold Osworth, chief health inspector of Liones, have been sent to carry out an audit of the premises. I have been waiting for months for you to make an appearance and I can tell you now I am not happy about the way I have been treated!"

"So sorry about that," Meliodas said smoothly as he came down the steps, his uniform perfectly pristine and business-like. "Please excuse us. We were not intending to open for customers today." Ban was amazed; for the first time in his life he could tell for certain that the Captain was lying. _Must be because I'm a child_ he thought to himself.

The man pursed his lips, drawing himself to full height so he could look eye to eye with Meliodas. "I take it you are the proprietor of this… establishment?" he asked as he glowered at the blonde.

"Yup, I'm the owner alright," Meliodas said cheerfully. "Can I offer you a drink? We have Vanya ale…"

"It's seven in the morning and I'm on duty!" the man snapped, "how dare you attempt to bribe her majesty's chief health inspector!" At this Harold started jotting notes down on his piece of paper, the force of his strokes near enough to break the nib of his quill as Meliodas sighed.

"A glass of water then?" the demon suggested, this time not causing quite so much ire. Elizabeth quickly fetched the beverage while the inspector continued to make notes on his parchment.

"I will need to see all of your paperwork," the man said pompously as he set the glass down on the table. "Everything. All your invoices, receipts, the final sign-off from building control for this construction, the lot."

"You're welcome to see it all, but there's no paperwork from building control," Meliodas admitted, a sunny smile fixed to his face. "The construction of The Boar Hat was ordered by King Baltra himself after my comrades liberated the kingdom from the Ten Commandments. It is my understanding that he deemed additional controls unnecessary at the time. No doubt her majesty can furnish you with the relevant documents when you get back to Liones, if you require them for your records." At this, Harold blanched slightly, making a big show of jotting more notes down on his parchment as Elizabeth placed a groaning pile of papers in front of him, stepping back nervously as the inspector glared at her. Ban stared incredulously; he had no idea the bar kept any records of anything.

"There's too much here for me to look at! You'll have to make copies," the inspector said grumpily as he began to leaf through the piles of paper. Ban looked nervously at Meliodas, but as usual the Captain gave no sign of any inner turmoil he was feeling, simply placing his arms behind his head and whistling thoughtfully.

"And where are the recipes?" Harold demanded as he started organising the papers into smaller piles. "I want to see all of them." Ban squeaked at this. _Recipes? But I never wrote anything down? Who does that?_

"Who is the chef?" Harold said petulantly into the pervading silence, "I need to talk to them about this!"

Without thinking, Ban stepped forward, sticking a thin arm up into the air. "Me am chef," he said simply, shrinking back slightly as the inspector glared at him with merciless grey eyes.

"Don't listen to him, of course he's not the cook," Meliodas said bracingly, ruffling Ban's hair. "Why don't you two go out and play for a bit, hmm?" he asked casually, his eyes locking with Zeldris's. Taking the hint, the younger demon gently took Ban's hand and started dragging him towards the door.

"Come on," he whispered, "it's okay, we can watch what happens from outside. Don't worry, it will be fine." At this, Ban let himself be led away; he and Zeldris stumbled into the open, the soft wind blowing their hair as Zeldris shut the door to the bar behind him.

"This way," Zeldris called, pulling Ban towards the window, before rolling a couple of logs over for them to stand on, the better to see. Escanor had spent the previous day chopping wood for the stove, leaving a pile to dry out slightly in the warm spring air. Zeldris helped Ban to stand on a log, making sure it was secure before turning his attention to the proceedings within, Ban eagerly doing the same.

"I need to see these recipes!" the inspector said crossly, practically stamping his foot. "The allegations against this… whatever you call it are extremely serious. If you do not…"

"Here they are, here they are," Escanor panted as he ran into the room, newly-made glasses firmly in place. He practically bowed as he placed another pile of papers in front of the inspector, and Ban grit his teeth at the obvious obsequiousness.

"Well… that's more like it," the inspector said grudgingly as he looked Escanor up and down. "So _you_ are the chef I take it?"

"Yes sir," Escanor stuttered as he lowered his head again. The inspector seemed to appreciate the gesture and his expression softened as he looked through the papers. "I see you brought me a menu as well. Good, good," he murmured as he started cross checking the recipes with The Boar Hat's specials. "Very well, this all seems to be in order, except you are missing recipes for three of these options."

"I… I'm terribly sorry," Escanor mumbled as he trembled slightly, "I must have unaccountably left them upstairs. If you would be so kind as to tell me which I have neglected to bring I will go fetch them immediately."

"Carrot sticks, apple slices and the cheese board," Harold said, referring to his list as he spoke.

"But… surely…" Escanor began.

"What?" Harold asked, his voice deadly quiet. "Have you something to say to me?"

"Um… well…" Escanor trailed off, examining his shoes as Harold tapped his pen on his clipboard, "those are… I don't cook them, you see? The carrot sticks are chopped carrot, the apple slices are from the fruit we grow in our garden and the cheese board is… well… cheese."

"Not good enough!" The inspector made a mark that looked suspiciously like a cross on his clipboard. "Everything needs a recipe!"

"So, out of interest, what would you say is the recipe for carrot sticks?" Meliodas asked casually, signature smile still in place. "I'm interested," he added innocently.

"Pick up carrot, wash carrot, peel carrot, chop carrot. The documentation should say exactly what length and width you use for the carrot sticks too," Harold said firmly as he stared at Meliodas. "You should also note what breed of carrots, or selection of breeds you use and whether there are any seasonal fluctuations to this."

"I… I'm so sorry, this is all my fault." Escanor's shoulders were slumped as he apologised and Ban felt an anger rise in his breast. "Of course, you are right, I should not have taken shortcuts. I will rectify my mistake immediately."

"Well, as long as you do so before I leave I guess I can be lenient on this occasion," the inspector huffed and, at once, Escanor ran up the stairs, no doubt to follow the ridiculous instructions he had received. Ban banged his fist on the windowsill, failing to notice the splinter that lodged in his hand or the small trickle of blood which ran down to his arm.

"Now, you have some explaining to do," Harold snapped as he turned to face Meliodas. "I've not read these properly but I can tell you are missing the standard operating instructions for dealing with dangerous venoms."

"What?" Meliodas asked, his brows raised into his fringe. "What dangerous venoms? We're in Britannia…"

"We have two poisonous creatures that inhabit this land, as you should know being in the catering business!" The inspector really did stamp his foot this time, his pale eyes fixed on the demon. "The black widow and the adder."

"Neither of which are found in this part of Britannia," Meliodas said smoothly. "Both are found in the south of the country. It's too cold for them up here."

"Nethertheless you need standard operating procedures to deal with any emergency…" Harold began.

"Besides, my best waitress is a brilliant healer," Meliodas protested, a sharp note finally entering his tone suggesting his patience had been torn to shreds. "Elizabeth has goddess powers. She can deal with the minor effects of venom from either of those animals…"

"Did you hear what I just said?" Harold seethed as he slammed his clipboard on the table. "You need standard operating procedures, written down and signed off by an official medic of Liones. Or you can't trade here. You also need to have the antidotes for both venoms to hand. So, do you?"

"We might do..." Elizabeth began, her hand twisting the scarf of her uniform as she nervously shuffled her feet.

"What kind of answer is that?" the inspector snapped as he glared at Elizabeth, his mouth scrunched up in a petulant pout.

"My colleague has various medicinal herbs in her laboratory," Elizabeth explained, her voice soft and placating. "She has likely got the necessary ingredients for the antivenom."

"You don't sound so sure. I'm going to have to make an inspection for myself and believe me, if you don't have the antivenom I will shut you down straight away. Where is this… _laboratory_?"

Ban felt Zeldris scurry off the log beside him, his feet scraping on the rough wood as he clambered down. "Stay here Ban. I'm… um… going to get Merlin," Zeldris said nervously, his face deathly white. "I know, I know," he added as Ban squeaked out a protest, "but she won't want this man in her room, so maybe she'll help. Mel will be so upset if The Boar Hat closes." _And so will I_ Ban thought, his eyes flitting around. _But Merlin will never help._

"Okay, I'll be back soon. Please stay here. I don't want you to get hurt," Zeldris begged before summoning his wings and flying up to Merlin's window. Ban saw him rap on the glass, and then Merlin's small, angry face emerge. A few moments later, unbelievably, Zeldris made his way inside, the window shutting with a bang behind him. _This is bad, this is bad, she'll really hurt him this time. But the Captain is busy. What can I do? Why don't I know what to do?_

Then Ban had a brainwave. Gowther had taken them on a nature walk the previous day and they had examined the plants they found, reading up about them as they trekked. It just so happened that a plant which could subdue the effects of both adder and black widow venom was growing not too far away, on a ledge of rock jutting from the middle of a waterfall as it hurtled to the forest ground. If he could get it, The Boar Hat would be saved. Quick as lightning, Ban jumped off the log, wobbling slightly as he landed on the grass before running off towards the forest.

Branches whipped his face and stones snubbed his toes as he quickly retraced his steps from the previous day, not minding the pain the lingered on his skin. Since Elaine had forced the fountain of youth down his throat, he had been unable to feel pain for long and had got used to ignoring its temporary effects. The stinging was bound to stop soon, and anyway he had a job to do. Panting with his exertion, cursing the small legs which impeded his progress, Ban moved ever closer to his target, rejoicing as the sound of crashing water filled his ears, and the smell of damp earth drifted to his nose a few moments later.

And there it was. A pale purple flower growing proud out of a mossy rock, its dark green leaves flanked by a few stems of tall grass. The rock was positioned almost exactly in the middle of the waterfall, and Ban momentarily wondered how he would reach it, before he saw the ledge of rock running along the precipice. He could edge along that, pick the plant and come back. Easily done, and if he were to fall his mangled body would quickly repair itself. One thing about being immortal, it did make it easier to take risks.

Slowly, carefully, Ban began to edge along the slippery rock, his freezing fingers gripping the stones behind the water for dear life. As his digits started to numb with the cold, and his clothes were soaked through making him shiver uncontrollably he grit his teeth, willing himself to ignore the discomfort. _It'll be over soon, this won't kill you, get a grip._ With a sudden rush of inspiration, Ban kicked off his shoes, using his toes to grip more firmly into the rock, which was covered with the treacherous green slime of algae. The sound of the water roared in his ears, the deluge of cold as it washed right over his head nearly knocking him forcefully to the rocks below.

At last he had made it! Ban relished the comparative dry as he stepped out onto the jutting piece of rock, his feet finding relief from the feel of soft moss rather than pointed stone. With a cry of triumph, he pulled up the plant, the coarse stem digging painfully into his fingers. It was then he noticed the blood on his hands where the plant had cut through the skin, and then he looked at his feet which were mottled with blood. And the wounds were not closing. He shut his eyes tight, pressing the lids together and counting to ten, but when he opened them again his feet and hands were the same. He was not healing at all.

Panic, overwhelming heart-stopping panic and fear the like of which Ban has not experienced for years paralysed the small boy, making his vision swim and the blood pound uncomfortably in his veins. He could actually hear his pulse in his ears, the dizziness making him feel physically sick. He was going to die, at the bottom of a waterfall. Who would look after Elaine and the baby he wanted so badly? _What a stupid way to go!_ Despite his best efforts, Ban felt the tears slipping down his face, mingling with the cold splashes of water as he wailed his pain to the heavens.

"Found you!" came a familiar voice and Ban felt himself grow warmer as a figure soared out of the sky, a pair of strong arms grabbing him round the middle and pulling him into the air. He was safe, the Captain had saved him, as he always did. Ban clung to Meliodas's neck, pushing his small face into the bartender's shirt as the demon carried him safely back to The Boar Hat.

"I thought I felt your energy leave," Meliodas said softly as he set Ban down gently on the ground. "You must never, ever run off again, okay? And what is this?" Meliodas gasped as he took in Ban's hands and feet. "You're bleeding!" The look of horror on his friend's face made Ban's stomach churn, and he felt the dizziness return.

"Inside, now!" Meliodas barked, an edge to his tone. "I don't care what that inspector thinks; we need to get you to Elizabeth. I don't know what we're going to do about this."

Ban felt himself ushered inside, the inspector, now apoplectic with rage, glaring at him the moment he entered the room. "What is this?" the man gasped as he took in Ban's appearance.

"Here plant!" Ban said simply, thrusting the flower into the inspector's face. "No close bar, pwease."

"That does it," the inspector hissed. "I have enough citations to close this place already but this…"

"Rewrite Light!" The voice sounded from the stairs as Ban felt his consciousness slipping away. _I tried so hard, I tried so hard…_

Meliodas placed a comforting hand on Ban's shoulder, helping to ground him as the inspector's indignant splutters suddenly came to a halt. With great effort, Ban just about managed to look up into the inspector's face, seeing his hostile eyes cloud over and an eerily vacant smile spread over his lips.

"Well, this all seems to be in order. I am happy to give this bar a clean bill of health," the inspector said, his voice sounding wooden. "I will inform her majesty. You are free to trade." And with that, the man wobbled out of The Boar Hat leaving his paperwork still on the table, stumbling slightly as he made his way into the sun, shaking his head as if in confusion as he continued on his way back to Liones.

"Nice save, Gowther!" Meliodas gushed, as Elizabeth ran to Ban, a hand smoothing his forehead and he felt a soft warmth spread through his limbs, knitting the broken skin together and soothing his swollen digits.

"I didn't even know you still had power," Escanor stammered out as he stared at th doll. "How did you do that?"

"Simple really. Merlin never took my power away. She can't. My creator gave it to me, he is the only one who could remove it," Gowther explained, his voice as usual completely expressionless.

"You're welcome!" Merlin snapped as she glared round the room, her amber eyes flashing with irritation, a nervous-looking Zeldris standing at her side. "I told him to do it…"

"Thank you!" Meliodas cried as he practically ran across the room, pulling Merlin into a hug. The witch looked momentarily annoyed, and then pleased, returning the embrace with something like enthusiasm. Elizabeth too went to Merlin, placing a kiss on her forehead, the girl blushing slightly at the sudden attention. "There was no way I was having that man in my lab," she muttered under her breath as she returned Elizabeth's embrace.

"How did you do that? There's no way you should have passed that inspection!" a familiar voice called and Ban turned round to see Gilthunder, Griamore and Howzer standing in the door to the bar. Gilthunder was smiling slightly, Howzer scratching his head as Griamore folded his massive arms across his huge chest. "You were supposed to fail!" Howzer shouted.

"You guys put him up to this?" Meliodas asked, his sunny smile back in its usual position as he regarded the holy knights of Liones, his hands reaching up to rest behind his head.

"You made me throw up all of my insides!" Gil grumbled as he looked round the bar. "We figured this was the least you deserved. It was just a laugh," he added more contritely, "we didn't mean to cause you this much trouble."

"Quite right!" Meliodas said cheerfully, the grin still on his face. "That was a great prank boys. Now, I'll get some Vanya ale out to celebrate and dinner is on the house. And don't worry, Escanor's cooking," he added as Howzer went slightly green. Ban did not need to see the wink flashed in his direction to know that he had once again caught the Captain in a lie.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: In Which It All Becomes Too Much For Poor Estarossa**

 **A/N: This chapter contains a description of mental breakdown and attempted suicide which readers may find upsetting.**

 _It was cold out on the open plains. Estarossa couldn't quite tell where they were-in the midst of a ruined wasteland, maybe, mist swirling and hiding the world from view. Subconsciously, he knotted his fingers together, barely beating back the sudden waves of fear crashing over him._

 _"You killed them."_

 _He whirled, eyes widening as his gaze landed on_ Zeldris, _his little brother back in his fully-grown state. White fog swirled and spun around him as dark eyes drifted to him, wide and sorrowful and horrified. Zeldris gazed at him in disbelief and horror, face streaked with tears. "You_ killed _them," he whispered again. "You killed them all."_

 _Estarossa stiffened, bringing his hands up as if to shield himself._ I knew I was poison, knew I would hurt them, but…but I didn't mean to do anything, what did I do, I'm sorry, I'm sorry _. "I-I-"_

 _The mist danced and spun and twisted wildly, before lifting entirely, revealing shadows and…_ desolation _. He felt the blood drain from his face as he took in the crimson-soaked earth, the slumped corpses, the blades-_ his _blades-embedded in their bodies, started to tremble as tears pricked at his eyes._ No…no, please, this can't be happening…no, no, _no…_

 _Ban was curled around Elaine, blood running from the corner of his mouth as the little faerie's torn wings leaked scarlet. Diane looked almost as if she were sleeping, despite the gashes across her stomach, King's broken body cradled gently in her blood-soaked palms. Arthur laid sprawled on the ground, Excalibur lying broken beside him and tinted rust-colored with dried blood with Gelda crumpled a few feet away, gray eyes wide and unseeing. Gowther seemed almost normal, if not for the trickle of blood running from behind his closed eyelids and the glasses that lay broken a few feet away. And Meliodas…Meliodas and Elizabeth were hand in hand, broken and bloody and gazing blindly up at the gray skies above them, the familiar curved steel of his silvery swords bright against the lifeblood that soaked their bodies._

 _Blood he'd spilled._

 _He'd become a monster._ Again _._

 _"You killed them all," Zeldris said again, and Estarossa turned, tears slipping down his cheeks. Those black eyes, usually so cold and distant in this form, were wet with tears and blazing with hate and fear. "Y-you killed our brother-killed M-mama-"_

 _He flinched at that word, eyes widening as a whimper escaped him._ No one-no one was supposed to know that I wanted-that I kept thinking-I- _"I don't-don't remember…" Estarossa froze as Zeldris turned his sword in his hand, the steel brushing the curve of his throat as scarlet trailed down pale skin. "Z-Zeldris, no, please-"_

 _The blade went in, and he choked on a sob as Zeldris's legs gave out, those dark eyes cold and accusing. He shuddered, a hand coming up to cover his mouth as the light slowly drained from his little brother's eyes, leaving an empty husk where his powerful, vibrant brother had once been._ Zeldris…gods, Zeldris, this is all my fault, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry…

 _"That's right!" a voice crooned, and he flinched back as a familiar, hulking form melted out of the shadows, golden eyes shining._ No, I killed you, you're _dead_ -just like t-them, just like Meliodas, just like E-Elizabeth. _Mael, still somehow bleeding from the seven stab wounds in his chest, leered down at him, lips curving into a wicked smile. "It's all your fault~"_

 _He skittered backwards with a whimper as blood started pulsing from the wounds, soaking into the ground. More shadows rose from where the crimson brushed the ground, forming humanoid shapes. Faeries with torn wings and slit throats loomed over him, giants carrying their heads advancing slowly as blood leaked from their wounds, goddesses with blood-soaked wings shuffling toward him. Humans, burnt and broken and battered and blood-soaked, limped toward him, some toddling children among them. Somehow, he knew that that they were all people he'd killed, people he'd hurt come to exact the punishment he deserved._

 _One by one, the Sins picked themselves up off the ground and staggered along with the ghosts, bleeding and watching and baring their teeth like they'd rip his flesh from his bones. Estarossa collapsed to his knees, shaking uncontrollably, as Elizabeth emerged at the front of the ground. Crimson ran down her face in a grotesque parody of tears, and when she smiled, her teeth were soaked red. "All your fault," she purred, fingers wrapping around his throat and_ squeezing _. "You've earned this,_ sweetheart."

 _The witch's laughter echoed as he wept, no longer struggling, no longer fighting against the fate he'd managed to escape for so long._

 _He did deserve it._

Estarossa woke with a scream, reaching out blindly into the darkness of his room _(not safe not safe gonna find me_ should _find me I deserve it_ I _should die, not them not them never them)_. His grasping hands touched something smooth and cold and he recoiled instinctively, sending the glass of water flying. There was a loud clatter as the glass shattered on impact, a sob tearing from his throat as he managed a strangled gulp of air. _Nightmare, nightmare, nightmare, just a nightmare,_ breathe, _you idiot._ Tears coursed down his cheeks as he tried to get a handle on his racing hearts, fingers knotting into his sheets and gasps shaking his shoulders. _You have to clean that up, have to fix it, they wouldn't want you if they knew._

The dream-the nightmare, the _hell_ he was plunged into every night without fail-was one he'd been having for some time now, but it had gotten _worse_ (so much worse). He'd always seen blood, seen his family lying dead, seen his victims appear before him, seen Zeldris take his own life over and over and over, but Mael had only appeared after Zeldris's birthday, and everything had spun rapidly downhill after he'd run away.

Now Elizabeth was the one to take his life in _every single dream_ , strangling him or ripping out his throat or pulling his hearts out of his chest. And every time before she dealt the killing blow, she smiled _the smile,_ the one that made him feel safe and protected, like everything was maybe going to okay after all, and told him it was _all his fault._ Which it _was_ , really, and he'd never denied that _(liar, liar, you'd do anything to pass the blame onto someone else),_ but he'd always clung to some small hope that maybe what she'd said after Meliodas and Zeldris had brought him home was true-that she really _did_ love him, that she didn't blame him nearly as much as he blamed himself, that she wouldn't hate him if she knew how weak and fragile and close to _shattering_ he really was.

 _Broom. I need a broom._ He stumbled out of bed, remembering at the last second to give the sheets a quick check ( _dry, thank the gods, Merlin would never let me live it down if I'd-if I'd-)_ before shuffling into the hallway. It was still dark, shadows creeping and crawling around the corners, the heavy silence hanging over him as he fought the urge to cry out for Elizabeth or Meliodas or _someone_. _Stop, stop, stop, you shouldn't bother them, be_ quiet-

A silvery laugh straight out of his nightmare floated toward him and he flinched back instinctively. "And why are _you_ up so very, very late?" Merlin's eyes glowed like a cat's, a hellish, unearthly sort of gold that seemed a thousand times more terrifying in these shadows than in the daylight (and considering he was barely handling his constant fear during the day, he felt about five seconds from throwing up). Her smile curved wickedly, revealing teeth that seemed razor-sharp in the gloom and he stumbled back a step, remembering the sickening dream-sensation of flesh being ripped from his body in horrific detail. "I'd _hate_ to have to wake anyone…"

 _Oh no, please don't please don't I'm fine everything's fine it doesn't matter-_ "Just g-getting a broom," he stammered, backing up more as she drifted closer, looking cruelly amused. "There was glass-"

"Are you _crying?"_ she interrupted, looking utterly delighted; he cringed back, feeling hot tears press against his eyes again. _Stop, stop, don't come any closer, don't touch me, please don't touch me._ "Oh my gods, you _are._ You've really stooped this low-and to think you once mocked Ban and Zeldris for doing the same. You really are nothing more than a child."

 _Nothing more than a child, weak, worthless, you should be_ dead. Estarossa bit his lip, stumbling backward another few paces as a familiar shadow rose on the wall, its eyes flashing gold-before gasping as he blinked and it vanished. _H-hallucinations? Or was it really Mael?_ Terror and _relief_ gripped his chest; scared though he was, he really _would_ be better off dead, Zeldris and Ban would be safer, Elizabeth wouldn't have to pretend to love him anymore, and Meliodas…Meliodas wouldn't have to hide his resentment any longer, resentment Estarossa _knew_ he felt. Despite himself, though, he managed to gather his wits for a retort. "I-isn't that what you w-wanted?"

Her eyes flashed wickedly and she stepped forward with a snarl, making him shuffle back in raw _fear_ at the sudden look of loathing on her face. "You have _no idea_ what I want, you little-" She shook her head, taking a breath as her lips curled back into a smirk. "Though I'm glad the message has started to…sink in."

"M-message?" _What does she mean? I don't understand._ Except he did, sort of, and he bit his lip as she leaned forward, smiling cruelly.

"Why, you've finally realized that they're _lying_ to you."

Estarossa's world _shattered_.

He stood, paralyzed, as she began circling him like a wolf closing in on her prey. "Of course, I did _try_ to tell you that they didn't love you, but they're _good people,_ unlike you. They wouldn't even let a _mass murderer_ go on feeling out of place, but they don't want you, you see. Not like they want Ban, or your brother, or me, or Gowther. In fact, it's rather more of a hassle having you around, seeing as you slaughtered innocents in droves. Most of us actually suggested that you be turned over to the people whose families you killed for punishment, and now we have to put up with people trying to get at you to kill you…it's all very _annoying_ , and even more of a burden than putting up with you in general." She snorted, looking amused. "I don't know why the gods decided you should live-you _are_ rather useless, as well. No magic, no heart, no _humanity_ …" She curled her lip. "We'd all be better off if you paid more attention to those ghosts you think you see and offed yourself."

 _Better off dead._

 _They all think I'd be better off dead._

 _I…I would be better off dead._

 _I wish I was._

"Estarossa? Merlin?" Meliodas's voice echoed down the hall and Merlin's snarl melted away to innocence, her golden eyes widening charmingly as she whirled toward him. Estarossa was left trembling, physically forcing himself not to claw desperately at his arms (his skin wasn't his anymore, it felt _wrong_ and awful and he didn't _belong_ here, wasn't good enough for them, he was a monster and a failure, a murderer and a weakling, a soldier and a coward and he was _terrified_ ) as his brother advanced, looking slightly concerned. "Why are you two up so early? It's two in the morning, I heard someone scream and I thought-"

 _No!_ "B-broom," he rasped out, clasping his hands together to keep them from shaking. "I-I knocked over a g-glass in my room and w-went to get the broom. Merlin was s-showing me where it was." _Please don't ask questions, please don't ask questions, please, please…_

Green eyes softened slightly. "Why didn't you come to get me? Or Elizabeth? If there's broken glass…"

"I can h-handle it!" he protested. _I'm sorry, I didn't want to be any more trouble, you don't have to pretend anymore._

"No, I will," Meliodas told him firmly, and he flinched backward despite himself. "I don't want you getting hurt." Merlin glanced at him and mouthed _"liar",_ golden eyes flashing with amusement before she turned back to his brother. Estarossa was momentarily pleased by the look of exasperated suspicion Meliodas gave her before feeling even more guilty, chewing his lip anxiously. "You both head back up to bed, alright? I'll clear the glass up for you, kiddo." The gentle squeeze of his hand on his shoulder was clearly meant to be comforting, but it took everything within Estarossa not to burst into tears in response. _Liar, liar, I'm so sorry._

He stayed up long after Meliodas helped him clean up, the knife he'd kept after his rapid flight glinting tantalizingly at him from the open bedside drawer.

 _I'm going to make this right._

It was lucky, really, that they hadn't managed to get very far from the ravine Ban had gotten stuck in; while Britannia was full of dangers, there were so few that might do the job fast enough (and painless enough, he was weak and a coward and he couldn't even find a _proper_ way to end it). Estarossa landed unsteadily on the edge of the rocks, his wings evaporating as he gazed down at the thundering water, gray and blue and frothing madly like a beast reaching for the kill.

 _At least it won't have to wait long,_ he thought, a bit hysterically. He glanced back in the direction of the Boar Hat, grief and self-loathing twisting nauseatingly within him. "I want to go home," he whispered, voicing the one thing he could never _really_ have at last. "I-I w-want to g-go-" A sob wracked his small frame and he buried his face in his hands. _Stop, stop, at this rate you're gonna go back, you're gonna bother them and keep reminding them how awful you were and waste their time and resources and energy, you have to be better, you have to end it._

 _"About time,"_ Mael's voice purred in his ear, and his eyes stung fiercely as tears welled up. _"Finally, we'll have retribution…"_ A soft chorus of _finally_ echoed in his ears, and he felt icy fingers trail down his arms, the slick sensation of the blood he'd spilled rising to form chains around his wrists. The ghosts had come to watch his final moments, he realized, and a hysterical giggle escaped him even as he stepped forward.

This was the only choice left, the only way to make sure everyone was safe and happy. The only way left for him to find _peace_. Even so, he looked back toward _home,_ wishing despite everything that he might see the unmistakable flash of Elizabeth's light on the horizon or Meliodas's dark wings spreading. He'd left a note-not a long one, not one that explained what he was trying to do (he didn't need them to try and "save" him due to their strange obligation; he was broken, unsalvageable and he _finally understood),_ but one that said that he was going out for a while and that he loved them (he'd almost cried when he realized he'd forgotten how to spell his own name-was it one "s" or two?-eventually just scrawling a shaky, lopsided heart and his first initial). He hadn't been able to stomach writing any more than that, had fled as soon he'd seen Gowther coming down the stairs.

 _"End it. Pay for your crimes."_ The sickening feeling of blood crawling up his limbs brought bile to his throat, and he shook his head wildly, gazing down at his hands. A chill of dread went up his spine at the sight of the scarlet coating them. _How-when-_ He turned his head away as the tide of crimson swamped him, tears of the stuff sliding down his cheeks, letting it drown him in all the blood he'd shed, the pain he'd caused, the figures from his nightmares rising up around him. _"Pay, pay pay paypaypaypaypay-"_

And Estarossa flung himself willingly off the edge.

Wind slammed against him, knocking the air painfully out of his lungs; he squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the impact, for that final shock of agony before it all ended. There was laughter around him, high and piercing and _cold,_ so cold that it _hurt._ What little magic remained in him writhed wildly, instinctively trying to form wings. Estarossa tightened his control over it desperately, forcing it to stay down as the deepwater drew nearer, nearer, _nearer-_

 _"ESTAROSSA!"_

His eyes flew open, light flashing at the edge of his vision as the water (gray and frothing and foaming like a wild thing, aching to swallow him whole and he _wanted_ it, too, wanted to stop feeling and thinking and _hurting_ , wanted to _vanish_ ) slammed into him-or was he slamming into it? Agony rocketed through him, white-hot and burning through his arms and chest, and he choked out a sob. _Why does it hurt so much, why isn't it over yet, why are you crying you stupid fuck stop stop stop, weak worthless hurthurthurts-_ Water rushed into his mouth as he sank, the currents snatching and pulling at him, and it _burned,_ scarlet threads of blood _(his or theirs, his or theirs, it hurt so much he couldn't tell it_ hurt) twining through the water above him. A figure with glowing wings hovered high above him, something glowing in their hands, and he felt tears form even as his vision darkened. _Too slow, too slow, Mael came to finish it and now it's gonna hurt scared scared scared_ alone.

Light erupted, blinding and pure, throwing the water back and cradling him in its grasp in one smooth motion. Estarossa tried to inhale but couldn't, the water in his lungs stealing his breath and _burning_ agonizingly as the figure dropped, arms coming around him swiftly. The jolt of motion sent agony rocketing through his fractured bones, tears spilling down his face as he tried to struggle away. _Nonono I was_ helping _I was ending it let go let go let go please Elizabeth's going to hate me, Meliodas is going to hate me._ A hand pressed down on his chest, hard enough that water bubbled up and out his lungs; he sobbed, squeezing his eyes shut as he was lifted up, clawing at his arms desperately. _I failed, I failed and they're all going to die, I killed them, I killed them, I'm a_ monster.

Hands ran through his wet hair, soothing and somehow desperate, trembling slightly. A warm tingle sang through his veins, the feeling so similar to Elizabeth's magic-but no, it _couldn't_ be, she couldn't know, she could _never_ know how weak and stupid and _unworthy_ he was. "Estarossa, Estarossa, _breathe,_ come on, baby-" and that voice, that was _her voice_ but why was she _here,_ how had she figured it out and why had she _saved him,_ he didn't _understand._ "Don't leave me, sweetheart, come on, come on, come on." Those shaking hands cupped his cheeks and an involuntary whimper rose up in his throat, earning a hoarse cry of victory as he was pulled into a warm lap and cradled against someone's chest, his head positioned so that a steady heartbeat rang in his ears solemnly. Haltingly, he opened his eyes-and froze.

Elizabeth really _was_ here. Blue eyes shone down at him as he stared in horror, quivering as much from terror as the cold. Blood snaked down her face from a graze on her forehead, her lips stained scarlet-and then she smiled _the smile_ and brought her hand up.

Estarossa _screamed,_ struggling wildly for a moment before managing to wrench himself out of her grip. He fell back onto the hard stones, scrambling backwards as his breathing stuttered and twisted and air _rushed_ out of him. _Don't hurt me don't kill me please I'll do it myself Elizabeth please I'll be good I'll be good please-_ His gaze landed on a round, flat stone and he grabbed it, planting one hand on the ground while he raised the hand clutching the rock with a sob. _Please-_ He brought it down, the bones cracking as pain throbbed through his wrist. _Please-_ And again, breath hitching as agony shot up his arm. _Please please pleasepleaseplease-_ Over and over, until his hand was a mangled mess of blood and bone and torn flesh, his arm burning white-hot as though magma had replaced the blood in his veins. _I'm sorry!_

The stone was pulled from his hand was he went for another strike, and he flinched back, tears blurring his vision as agony rocketed through his hands. A gasp escaped him as he was suddenly pulled into a fierce embrace, golden magic shining as it swamped him and washed away most of his pain. Shaking hands combed through his hair again, pressing his face to the leanly muscled warmth of Elizabeth's shoulder. He squeezed his eyes shut as heat pressed more firmly at his eyelids, waiting for the deathblow.

"Sweetheart, tell me what's wrong, _please_." There was a slight tremble in her voice and he stiffened against her, drawing back enough that he could look her in the eyes. Her eyes were wide with horror, her face pale-as if she'd really been worried, as if maybe Merlin was _wrong._ "Whatever's upset you so much, I promise I can help."

 _Can't help gonna hurt me kill me please don't hurt me I'll be good I swear I'll be good please please please-_ "N-no!" He buried his face in his hands, a hiccupping sob wrenching itself painfully from his throat. "N-no, gonna hurt m-me, k-kill me please no no _no-_ "

Her grip on him tightened, strong and solid and comforting, and _real._ "Kill you? Estarossa, why in the world would I-I _love_ you, sweetie."

 _Wh-no, it's not possible, not after everything I've done, not after what I did to him, to you, I'm not good enough I'm broken useless worthless I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry._ "B-but you do," he choked out in place of any of that, the words coming out twisted and mangled through his sobs. "E-every night t-there's a-so m-much _b-blood_ -k-killed you-and-it h-hurts, d-don't wanna-p-please d-don't-" He shook his head wildly, trying to pry himself free before her hands could plunge into his chest and tear away his hearts. Elizabeth's mouth had formed a small "o", her eyes widening, and he felt another wail rise up in his throat; he didn't want her to kill him, to hate him, he loved her so, so much and he'd only end up hurting her, she'd _loathe_ him now.

"Oh, _baby,"_ she breathed, and a gasp escaped him as huge wings crafted of light embraced him, as warm and comforting as his brother's darkness. "Gowther showed me some of your dreams, did you know that? He was worried about how… _loud_ your mind had become, loud and lacking _you._ He said it was being _choked,_ that someone had snapped the last of the Commandment's hold in the most painful way possible-" a sob escaped him at the mention of the Commandment; it had been agonizing, receiving it, and there had been a moment of clear lucidity in which he'd thought _anything would be better than this_ before everything he had been and wanted to be was twisted and ripped away- "and that what was left was cutting your soul to pieces, but I never thought…I'm so _sorry,_ Estarossa."

"N-not you." How could she possibly think it was her fault? She hadn't done anything to him, had taken him in after everything, after all he'd done, had helped him and protected him and was trying to stop him from killing himself even though it'd fix _everything._ "M-my fault, s-should've been m-more careful, won't h-happen again." _I'll make it better, I'll fix it, I'll be good don't leave don't hurt don't kill_ please _._

"You're right, it won't." A yelp of fear escaped him as Elizabeth stood, a shudder running through his body as those wings of pure light spread wide. Estarossa could see gold eyes flickering menacingly at him in the shadows those bright wings cast, a wail building up in his throat that he just barely swallowed down as Mael seemed to rise from the darkness, leering wickedly at him. "I'm taking you home, and you're going to get some rest, and I'm going to have a… _talk_ with a certain witch."

Fear washed over him at the thought; Merlin would definitely blame this on him, would torment him for ages, find a way to make the nightmares _worse_. Nausea rose up in him, made him twist with discomfort as his hearts pounded wildly in his chest. _Nonononono-_

Mael's golden eyes flashed behind his closed eyelids as he dropped into unconsciousness with a terrified scream.

Estarossa wasn't alone when he woke this time; there was a hand in his, a thumb gently stroking the back of his hand, and blue eyes glowing at him from where their owner sat . He bolted upright with a gasp, trying to wrench himself free on instinct, but Elizabeth's smile (sad, so sad and soft and _kind_ , not quite the smile, but familiar enough that he wasn't exactly _scared_ ) made him pause. "Feeling any better?"

He chewed his lip hesitantly, glancing nervously around the familiar confines of his room (safe and warm and awash in faded sunlight, like a sanctuary the dreams couldn't touch). He didn't feel so sick, so _volatile_ anymore, but he still felt like Merlin was right, like he had to be _dead_ for everything to work-felt lost and scared and _lonely,_ and tired, so _tired_ , his eyelids like heavy iron curtains _._ "A bit," he managed, his throat feeling as painfully scratchy as sandpaper.

She raised her eyebrows, looking mildly disbelieving, but her eyes softened again. "Tired, I'd guess?" Her hand reached up and smoothed his hair back; he managed not to flinch away at her touch, actually leaning into it once the knee-jerk reaction of fear passed. His eyes drifted closed and it was far harder to pull them open the time, but he somehow managed, blinking sleepily at Elizabeth. She laughed, ruffling his hair gently. "I figured. And about Merlin…Gowther's warded off your room from her influence; she can't get in unless he gives her permission, since he's more experienced with her tricks. Her lab's been warded as well; she no longer has access to it."

Estarossa froze at that, his eyes widening as terror pounded wildly in his chest. _No-she'll kill me, she'll blame me, she'll hate me too._ The dark, almost gleeful fury in Elizabeth's eyes, though, brooked no argument, and he settled back against the pillows. Exhaustion settled over him, a heavy blanket that pressed down on him almost comfortingly, and the world blurred as he strained to stay awake. _No…no nightmares, please, no no no, just let me sleep please I want to be okay I want it to be over…please don't leave me._

"Mama," Estarossa whispered, unaware of the tears slipping down his cheeks as he reached toward her timidly. Her eyes widened, a look of wonder and _fear_ ( _she didn't want him, she hated him, he wanted to_ die) crossing her face, melting into something feral and ferocious that he couldn't quite name. His eyes drifted closed, a hiccuping noise that was half a sob and half a plea escaping him. "P-please don't l-leave." _I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I love you…_

There was a soft rustle, and then arms were around him, cradling him protectively. A kiss was pressed to the top of his head, a hand running through his hair. "Go to sleep, baby," Elizabeth rasped, her voice thick with an emotion he couldn't place through the deepening blanket of exhaustion. "Mama's here."

Estarossa cried himself to sleep that day, clinging gratefully to her (she didn't let go, didn't hate him, she _stayed)_ , and for the first time, the nightmares didn't come for him once.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18: In Which The Children Get Sick And Merlin Finally Gets An Explanation**

"Elizabeth!"

The squeal rang all through The Boar Hat and Merlin clenched her teeth in frustration. What the fuck was this now? Why could these children never shut up?

Turning her face into the pillow of the bed that she hated, the one she had been forced to use now her lab was off limits ( _stupid Estarossa, it's not my fault he tried to kill himself_ ) Merlin tried to block out the sounds of Zeldris as he continued to gloat about something. _I hate him, I hate him, I hate him_. The sounds however would not go away, so with a sudden burst of energy, she got up from the bed, padding down the steps to the bar in bare feet. She went quietly, wondering if she could get some useful information before she made an appearance. But no, there was nothing. Nothing but shouts and screams and the sounds of Elizabeth's tinkling laughter.

As she rounded the corner, Merlin pulled up short. In the very centre of the room stood the youngest demon, eyes shining as he held aloft a beautiful stuffed dragon. It was absolutely stunning, bigger than his head and shining bright orange in the early morning sunlight. Merlin felt the breath catch in her lungs as she stared at the boy, wondering where he had acquired such a treasure.

"Arthur is the best friend _ever_. I love him!" Zeldris yelled at the top of his lungs and Merlin felt suddenly cold, her spiteful retort instantly dying on her lips. _Arthur_ had given it to him? Even after she had explained?

"You must write him a thank you letter," Elizabeth warned, her eyes shining as she gave Zeldris a hug. "Go on. Do it now before you forget."

"I won't forget!" Zeldris said, his voice sounding hurt. "Come on Pen, let's go!"

"Pen?" Merlin spat before she could stop herself, her eyes raking over the small demon as he suddenly clutched the toy to his chest.

"Yeah. Pen the Dragon," Zeldris said defensively, returning Merlin's piercing gaze. "It suits him."

"You named it after _my ward_?" Merlin snarled, power cracking at the tips of her fingers. "How _dare_ you. I'll…"

"He.. he gave it to me," Zeldris protested, his fingers digging into the dragon's soft fur. "So why shouldn't I. I'm sure Arthur won't mind. I'm going to ask him anyway." With that, the demon shot up the stairs, taking them two at a time despite his small stature. Ordinarily Merlin would have taken satisfaction from his obvious fear of her, but not today. An ache bloomed in her chest, nagging at her as she struggled to recover herself. _It will be fine. Arthur will have sent me something as well. Don't let them see that you're riled_. With great effort, Merlin forced her face to betray no sign of her perturbation but as she looked at Elizabeth she could not suppress the hope which surged in her breast.

"Arthur sent me something as well." A statement not a question as she looked at Elizabeth. Of course he had. No need to show any sign of insecurity.

"Yes." The one word was cold, uninviting and all at once Merlin found herself close to tears. _Why won't they understand? It's not FAIR!_ Without a word, Elizabeth handed her a letter and Merlin could not hold back her gasp. The epistle was thin, no more than one sheet of parchment, a far cry from the largess which had been shown to her enemy.

But eagerly Merlin ripped open the envelope nonetheless, her breath coming in short bursts as she looked at the page. The message was cold, almost impersonal and, without thinking, she looked up at Elizabeth, unable to stop the a tear spilling down her face.

"Why?" she gulped, suppressing the sobs that threatened. "It's like he's angry with me. He…"

"He is." Again the words were cold, no comfort there at all. Merlin stared in horror as Elizabeth stood up from her chair, picking up a tray laden with bacon and eggs as she moved towards the stairs. "We all are," she added with her back to the girl. "It will be a long time before I can forgive you for what you've done." And with that she was gone, mounting the stairs without a backwards glance in her direction and Merlin bit her lip to see Elizabeth knock softly on Estarossa's door. A second later, the goddess entered, cooing softly as she stepped inside. Since the day he had tried to take his own life, Estarossa had stayed in there and Merlin found she could not enter.

It has been nearly a week since Estarossa had thrown himself off the cliff and, since then, Meliodas had refused to be in the same room as her, while Ban scuttled behind the nearest adult if she came into the room. As well as being locked out of her lab, Merlin had been forbidden from taking her meals with the other children, Escanor providing her with sustenance and a bit of conversation in her room. But even he was cold and aloof, refusing to look her in the eye.

And this letter from Arthur? Well that was the last straw. In it he explained, in no uncertain terms, how disappointed he was and that he expected her to make amends with the demons. _What the hell? Why the fuck should I? They're the ones in the wrong_.

Still fuming, Merlin made her way upstairs, heading towards the unfamiliar room. She was surprised to see Zeldris standing on the landing, looking decidedly pale as she approached.

"Elizabeth!" he called, his voice sounding weak, "I don't feel…" And with that the demon suddenly leaned over, hurling the contents of his stomach onto his shoes. Merlin looked with some satisfaction at the splattery mess, discerning small chunks of toast and something that looked like it might be apple slices in amongst all the slosh.

"Have you been eating Meliodas's cooking?" she asked gleefully as Elizabeth rushed out of Estarossa's room, a harassed expression on her face. When she saw Zeldris, her expression instantly softened and she reached out for the boy, hugging him close to her despite the clumps of vomit clinging to his clothes. Merlin wrinkled her nose; Elizabeth was hiding it well but even she must feel the urge to gag. The smell was revolting, the aroma of acid and half-disgusted food pervading the space with great rapidity.

"Let's get you cleaned up," the goddess said kindly, taking the small boy's hand and leading him towards the main washroom. But Zeldris paused, his face suddenly green again as he gulped air. As quick as lightning, Elizabeth formed a bowl with her hands, catching the sick as it spewed from his mouth. This time, the effluent did not stop; more and more kept coming as Zeldris struggled to breath, his face turning slightly red as the river flowed from his mouth. Once he had finished, Elizabeth ran quickly to the washroom, small drops of sick spilling onto the floor from the gaps in her fingers.

"Come on, let's both get cleaned up," she said lightly, picking Zeldris up and holding him close. The demon was silent, and Merlin could feel his budding power washing over the space as he struggled to control his emotions. _Serves you right_ she thought as Elizabeth carried the small boy to the washroom, stopping to call Meliodas on the way.

Merlin smirked, and was on the point of returning to her room when, without warning she felt a strange pressing in her stomach. What was happening? In all her years on the earth, wandering Britannia scared and alone, she had never felt this. She struggled to make her way to the washroom, but lost the battle of wills to time. Before many moments were up, she too was throwing up violently, heaving repeatedly as the waves of pain in her stomach contracted.

She was so intent on concentrating on making sure she breathed, a difficult task, that she barely noticed as a warm hand moved in circles over her back while another scooped back her hair. As the sickness subsided, Merlin turned to see Meliodas, his face etched with concern. The days of loneliness and, if she was honest, remorse for what she had done came crashing over her, and in an instant she was burying her face in the demon's shoulder, sobbing her heart out.

"Hey, it's okay," Meliodas murmured, his arms around her tightening in a comforting way.

"I'm sorry," Merlin choked out, gulping as she clung to his shirt. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." The arms around her tightened some more, one hand moving up to stroke her hair.

"Why did you do it?" he asked, his voice resigned, but with a slightly cold edge. "You have no idea what damage you have done. I haven't seen Estarossa like this since he was a child…"

"What?" The question was out of Merlin's lips before she could stop herself. "What do you mean?"

Meliodas sighed as he picked Merlin up and started to move her towards the washroom. Elizabeth was just in the process of coming out, a very weak looking Zeldris draped over her shoulder. "He… had a bad childhood. That's all you need to know," he whispered into her ear, his hand running in circles over her back as Merlin's stomach started once more to spasm. "Try and relax. Get it out of your system then we'll get you cleaned up. You can go back in your lab while you recover."

"You mean it?" Merlin gasped, her fingers digging into Meliodas's shoulders.

"You're ill," the demon added kindly, positioning Merlin over the sink as the vomiting resumed. "But no funny business, okay?" The witch nodded meekly, gulping for air before the last of her stomach contents spewed into the bowl. She had never felt so weak in her life.

"I don't understand." These whispered words came from somewhere behind her, but before Merlin could turn around she felt a soft hand stroking her hair. "I didn't think demons got sick…"

"No, and the people of Belialuin don't either." Meliodas's voice sounded grim as he lowered Merlin into the bathtub. "I'll let you wash her. She's a woman after all… Did you manage to heal Zeldris?"

"No, it's very puzzling," Elizabeth said with a sigh. "Vomiting bugs aren't normally a problem…"

"This obviously isn't a normal one," Meliodas said darkly, his brows creased in thought. "We'd better isolate Merlin and Zeldris. There's only one thing that causes demons to get this ill."

"What is it?" Elizabeth asked.

"Some invention of Gowther's originally I think. Chandler would…" Meliodas paused. "Let's just say it's a disciplinary tool. There's nothing to do but let it run its course. I'm immune - he gave it to me once too often - and you'll have resistance as a goddess so we should be okay. I'll tell Escanor to get the others out of here…"

"I'm not leaving Miss Merlin!" Escanor's voice boomed from behind the door and Meliodas jumped, causing the witch to giggle slightly. The demon sighed, giving Elizabeth a slight smile as he stepped from the room. Merlin heard the sounds of muffled argument as Elizabeth drew a bath, allowing Merlin space to wash the sick from her hair and limbs, the splash of the water and the smell of the soap soothing her nerves. A few moments later, Elizabeth helped her out of the bath, allowing her to get dressed into clean clothes before carrying her to the lab.

Merlin would have been delighted to be back amongst the familiar smells of the herbs and the rows of neat test tubes, only Zeldris was there ahead of her, tucked up in a makeshift camp bed and looking very sorry for himself. She was even more annoyed a few moments later when Meliodas carried in a limp looking Estarossa, who had clearly also succumbed to the bug.

"This should be it for now," Meliodas said cheerfully as Elizabeth padded softly in behind him. "As long as we keep these three under quarantine we should contain the disease. Humans apparently can't get it either. That's why Arthur didn't notice."

"What?" Merlin asked, her voice sounding weak as she pushed herself up on her elbows. "Is Arthur okay?"

"Yeah, don't worry, he's fine," Meliodas assured, a gentle smile on his face. "Turns out Cusack tried a bit of mischief before the end of the war. He left traces of this illness everywhere. Camelot's a bit of a health hazard, but its inhabitants are safe.

"The illness came here with that dragon," Meliodas said kindly as Zeldris pulled the toy closer towards him, a slight moan leaving his lips. "But it's all fine. Escanor and Ban are immune and Gowther can't catch it either. So it's just you three. You'll be better in a few days, but until then you'd better stay here in case any faeries or giants come wandering about.

"And Merlin, leave Estarossa alone. Please, I'm begging you," Meliodas said quietly as he sank down next to the witch, smoothing the hair back from her forehead. "I know you're upset with him for some reason, but please put that aside while you're all ill, okay?" Merlin glared hard at him, before nodding slowly in agreement. A temporary truce she could do, especially as she barely had the energy to lift her own arm let alone cast any spells.

"Thank you. Now the only way to deal with this is to keep vomiting till it stops. Here are your buckets," Meliodas said with a grin as he placed the iron vessels next to each bed. "And you have bells too. Ring if you need anything. And trust me, this will all be over and done with before you know it!"

The children looked up wearily as the door closed behind him, Elizabeth giving them an encouraging smile as she left. Merlin groaned. As if it wasn't bad enough feeling like death warmed up, now she had to share her beloved lab with the two demons she hated more than anything else in the whole of Britannia. Still, they were being quiet enough. Zeldris was snoring slightly, the blankets over him rising and falling as he slept, while Estarossa was staring up at the ceiling, the bags under his eyes a hollow, dusky purple. It was the first time Merlin had seen him since _the incident_ and now she looked at him closely she was shocked. He looked truly broken, a shell of a being. A few moments later he whimpered slightly, closing his eyes in horror and, try and she might, Merlin could not but help feel a stab of pity.

"I didn't ask for any of this," a weak voice quavered and Merlin sat up, her eyes fixed on Estarossa. She fanned out her power to take a closer look at him, and with alarm she realised the budding energy he had been developing was now all gone. The demon had _nothing_ , not even a trace of magic. "I remember now, everything," he said slowly as he looked round at Merlin, fixing his dark eyes on hers, "and I'm sorry."

"That was your home wasn't it?" he asked as his eyes flashed to the wall where the poster of Belialuin still stood proudly affixed. Merlin was more than surprised to see a gleam of tears in his eyes before the small demon squeezed them tight shut. "It was my first assignment after… after…" At this Estarossa broke down in tears, his sobs echoing through the lab. The noise caused Zeldris to stir, and he sat up in bed, his coal black eyes trained square on the witch.

"How _dare_ you," he glowered as he jumped up from the bed, wobbling slightly before grabbing his bucket and heaving. There was evidently not a lot there, just a few splashes of bile, but the spasms held his body captive for several minutes nonetheless. When he was finished, Zeldris shot Merlin another cold look before padding across the room. Without a word, he climbed into bed with Estarossa, wrapping his arms around him as his elder brother continued to sob.

"It's… it's not her fault, it's ours," Estarossa gulped, returning Zeldris's embrace. "Look!" He gestured at the poster and Merlin watched Zeldris carefully, pleased to see the colour leave his face. "We destroyed it," Estarossa whispered, before he too went for his bucket, Zeldris rubbing his back as he purged the contents of his stomach.

"How can it have been your first assignment?" Merlin spat, uneasy at the way the conversation was going and determined to get back in control. "You would have been a soldier for ages by then…"

"No," Estarossa whispered.

"Don't tell her anything else," Zeldris commanded. "We have our orders remember? It was a secret mission. We were told to say nothing..."

"By our father, who's _dead_ ," Estarossa shot back, a spark of life returning to his pallid cheeks. "And who cares? What does it matter? I have no power now, and never will again. It was all a _lie_." Tears glittered in his dark eyes at the word, and Merlin felt some of the color drain from her own face as she remembered what she'd told Estarossa before he'd tried to kill himself. _They're lying to you,_ she'd snarled, hoping he'd believe it and run away again, get himself killed or vanish somewhere-something clean and quick, not _throwing himself into a damn ravine._

 _Liar, liar, liar._ The word bounced in her head and she gritted her teeth angrily against the rising tide of curiosity and _pity._ It sounded like Estarossa knew lies well, as though…as though he'd been _raised_ on them, as she had. _Lie to kings, lie to queens, lie to the world, sweet little liar, and the world comes back to bite._

"What are you talking about?" Zeldris asked slowly and Merlin could feel him stretch out his powers as if to verify Estarossa's statement. "What…"

"I never had any! Don't you _understand?"_ Estarossa cried out and Merlin felt her sharp intake of breath against her raw, aching throat. "That's why he wouldn't let me see you," the demon continued more quietly, trembling hands folded in his lap, "I was a disgrace, nothing more than an embarrassment to be hidden away."

"But… but… that's not true…" Zeldris began, though he looked uncertain, watching his big brother worriedly as shaking, fragile hands wiped at teary black eyes.

"I only got power after he left, when I got his Commandment," Estarossa whimpered, his face turning pale at the memory, and Merlin suddenly saw the lay of the land with sickening clarity.

"You mean you were given Meliodas's Commandment?" she asked, hoping to prod more of an answer from him, "well, so what? They're recycled all the time. He got _his_ from Calamiados," she added, pointing at Zeldris.

"But I had no power," Estarossa admitted, "not before I absorbed that… _thing_. It… it did things to me. I got _his_ power, and his memories when it entered me. I didn't have enough strength of my own to control it so I lost who I was." His lower lip quivered at the memory of the torment, eyes becoming glassy with tears. It was then that Merlin remembered one of her oldest teachings from Gowther- _if one was born without the capacity for magic, they were not meant to have it. To try and change that would drive them to madness._

 _Drive them to madness…_

"That's why you had Full Counter?" Zeldris asked, his voice frozen with horror. "But… _why_? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't _remember!"_ Estarossa protested, his hands clenched into fists on the coverlet. "I had all this-this _crap_ in my head, and only some of it was real. But it all _s-seemed_ real, even though bits of it didn't fit together. Like how I loved M-u-um, Elizabeth even though I'd never met her. I thought she… Anyway, I don't know what you did but it's all gone now," he added as he looked over at Merlin with a nauseating amount of gratitude and grief in those big, glossy dark eyes. "And I'm sorry. We should never have done anything to your homeland. I don't even know why we had to…"

"She lied!" Zeldris yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Merlin. "She tricked our father and the Supreme Deity. You thought you were _better_ than them," he spat as he glared at the witch, "because you had a bit more magic than average. Well, you aren't. You're not a god. You're just a stupid little girl! And you deserved what you got." Merlin felt her insides boil with rage and she shot to her feet, the air around her whipping into a cyclone as she returned Zeldris's glare. _I could rip you to shreds; sick or not, I_ will _kill you, I_ will, _I don't care if it means everyone hates me, I swear to the gods I'll tear out your throat-_

"She _didn't_ ," Estarossa coughed, breaking the tension by spewing once more into the bucket. As if in silent agreement, both Merlin and Zeldris relaxed their shoulders as Estarossa heaved, but both remained wary, their eyes fixed on each other. "We didn't just hurt her, we k-killed her _people_ , Zeldris, in cold blood. T-they had done nothing…"

"We had our orders!" Zeldris snapped, his hands on his hips. "We…"

"And they w-were wrong." Estarossa placed a small, trembling hand on his brother's shoulder, the fragile grip so delicate compared to the lively, energetic demon Merlin remembered from those first few days. "Come on, the war's _over_. And it was all for nothing. Just because you don't like what you did doesn't mean it wasn't your fault. We killed innocent people that day, both of us, on the orders of a megalomaniac. Merlin is right to be angry with us. If the tables were turned, wouldn't you feel the same?"

"But I still don't understand," Merlin said quietly, finding her rage fading as she saw Zeldris's contrite expression. "Why didn't you have any power?"

"I was born without it," Estarossa said simply, tiredly, as though he'd explained it too many times already, and Zeldris gasped. "Yeah, I know. A bit of an embarrassment, really, being the Demon King's powerless son. Mel did his best but…"

 _Wait, what?_ "He knew about this?" Merlin hissed, unable to hold back her words as incredulous fury rose in her. "Meliodas… _knew_? All this time?"

"It-it's not his fault either. He tried to h-help me," Estarossa protested, his eyes pleading as they flashed from Merlin to Zeldris and back. "He tried to train me, I _t-think_ ," he added as he placed a hand on his temple. "It's still a bit hazy, t-to be honest, at l-least where Meliodas is concerned."

"You got your power from the Commandment." It was a statement, not a question that came from the younger of the two demons as Zeldris looked at his brother with wide eyes. "But… that's madness! You could never have controlled it. Why…"

The light that had momentarily returned to his eyes evaporated suddenly. "He w-was angry," Estarossa whispered, the shadows returning to his features as he pulled his knees to his chest, resting his chin on them. "After Meliodas left… you must remember?" Merlin examined Zeldris carefully, noting his hard swallow and pursed lips. "He wanted to punish us both. So he g-gave me that Commandment and you were told to annihilate the vampires." At this Zeldris sank down to the bed, burying his face in his hands as Estarossa continued. "It was all about control. He'd lost one son, so he was going to make damn sure that we both toed the line."

"You mean he knew? About me and Gelda?" Zeldris asked quietly, his face still obscured. "It was… on purpose?"

"Well, Meliodas did so I presume Father did too," Estarossa said comfortingly as he wrapped an arm round Zeldris's shoulders. "If my memories are right there was no rebellion, Izraf was doing as he was told," he added gently, pulling Zeldris towards him as the youngest started to sob.

Merlin sat on the bed, forcing herself to examine the situation as dispassionately as she could, but her mind kept ticking back to one fact: Meliodas _knew_. He had known all this time and never said a _word_ to her about it. He had seen her vendetta against the two boys and never once explained what they had been through, or the role he had played in it-had let her play her game, nearly kill someone who didn't deserve half the shit she'd pulled on him. _He let me attack the brothers he claims to protect-and for what fucking reason?_ She took several deep breaths, trying to master her feelings, but finding the hurt and confusion impossible to control.

"I'm sorry," Merlin muttered aloud suddenly, causing both demons to look at her in astonishment. "I… he never told me any of this! It's not fair!"

"We were all given patches of information," Zeldris said with a sigh, smiling ruefully as he hastily wiped away his tears. "That much has become clear. None of us had the full picture. No doubt Father's way of ensuring our obedience.

"I'm sorry too. Estarossa is right. Whatever you did, we should have left Belialuin alone." Merlin cast her eyes to the floor, nodding briefly before making a beeline for her bucket. This time, it was Zeldris who held back her hair, and she let him, even allowing him to help her back into bed where she nestled down into the covers.

"Hey cheer up! You look like you're sucking a wasp. It wasn't all bad," Estarossa chirped, and Merlin looked up at the sudden cheeriness of his tone. The two brothers were sitting side by side on the elder's bed, leaning against one another. Estarossa beamed shyly, before nudging Zeldris. "Good stuff happened too. Remember that time you sat on the throne and pretended to command everyone about?"

"What? Who told you that?" Zeldris had gone bright red, his cheeks on fire with his embarrassment and Merlin _laughed_ , the genuine amusement unlocking something in her chest.

Estarossa giggled. "I saw you! You can't have been older than you are now. I was sneaking round the castle. I didn't know who you were at the time but it was still pretty amusing. It's even _more_ funny now."

"Shut _up!"_ Zeldris squealed, punching Estarossa on the arm as he turned even redder and Merlin's laughs echoed through the room.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19: In Which Everyone (Even Merlin) Gets A Happy Ending**

 _A/N: It's bittersweet to come to the end of a story. Many thanks to writing_addict - collaborating on this story has been a pleasure._

It was the noise that woke him: a hushed chatter, suppressed giggles and the timbre of small feet as they made their way up the stairs, the odd floorboard squeaking in the process. Meliodas sighed, stretched and rubbed his eyes, allowing his room in The Boar Hat to come into focus. A little soft sunlight was streaming through the window, glancing gently off the locks of silver hair spread out over the pillow next to him, the thin blanket gently moving as Elizabeth slept. She looked so peaceful, so contented he thought that his heart might break. This is what they had fought for all these millennia; a little rest and the chance to share each other's love without fear.

The door opened a crack, a small face appearing around the edge of the frame. Meliodas was about to chastise his youngest brother for intruding on Elizabeth's peace when he saw the gleam of a tray in the tiny demon's hands. A mere moment later, Ban squeezed past Zeldris, stumbling into the room on stubby legs while Estarossa and Merlin followed behind, holding a vase of flowers and a bowl of fruits in their small hands.

"We brought Elizabeth breakfast in bed," Zeldris explained unnecessarily as he set the tray down carefully on the bedside table. At this Elizabeth stirred, pushing herself up on her elbows to regard the children standing in front of them, all of them grinning from ear to ear.

"Ban and I made the toast," Zeldris said proudly and Meliodas was impressed to see that the slices looked to be reasonably thin and evenly browned, spread with a good layer of butter. "Merlin did the tea and picked the flowers and Estarossa found the berries. Don't worry, we checked their not poisonous."

"Children, you really didn't have to…" Elizabeth began, before Gowther also tottered into the room, his gait as ever slightly ungainly. Without a word he placed a book in Elizabeth's lap, before looking at the goddess with expectant eyes.

"I put a book on your lap," Gowther intoned, his golden eyes locked on Elizabeth's as his arms fell to his sides. The goddess smiled up at him, her expression still sleepy as she stretched out her arms, Ban and Zeldris taking the invitation to jump onto the bed in an instant.

"Would you like me to read it?" Elizabeth asked, unable to keep the laughter out of her voice.

"Maybe Ban would like you to read it," Estarossa said carefully and Meliodas was pleased to hear the panicked stutter which had been a near permanent feature of his brother's voice since _the incident_ had finally disappeared. The boy looked happy, whole, more centred than he could ever remember seeing him.

Elizabeth turned to the small human squirming about on the bed, jostling with Zeldris for position as they both tried to get into the space between the goddess and demon. Eventually Ban won, the tiny boy worming his way into Elizabeth's arms while Zeldris hugged the human as if in proxy. "Would you like me to read it, Ban?" the goddess asked, her gentle voice pulling a smile onto Meliodas's lips.

"Yes!" the boy said enthusiastically and Meliodas chuckled.

"I'll read it Elizabeth, you eat your breakfast," he said kindly, pushing himself into a sitting position and fluffing up the pillows to form a support for his back. At this Estarossa squealed and Merlin's eyes lit up, though the mage was far too grand to do more which might give away her enthusiasm. Both of them also scrambled onto the bed which sank slightly under their combined weight as Gowther perched himself on the windowsill.

Meliodas read the tale of the four woodland animals as they grappled with spring cleaning, prison and weasels while Elizabeth crunched daintily on her toast. The fact that she did so without scrunching up her face in disgust was testament to the improvement Ban had made to Zeldris's rudimentary attempts at food preparation. Only the day before he and the other children had made ice cream, Merlin having frozen the kitchen so as to keep their hard work in peak eating condition. It had tasted good too, though Gowther's nettle flavour left a little to be desired.

And to his surprise Meliodas had found that he did not mind. Ever since he and Merlin had sat down and talked, and he had explained why he had hidden information about Estarossa for the younger demon's protection, Merlin had been behaving cordially towards the whole party. Peace had finally descended on The Boar Hat. The mage still caused mischief of course, but now it was without a malicious edge and she always cleaned up with a cheerful smile afterwards. Estarossa had calmed down under her influence, his fragile mind slowly healing as Merlin patiently included him in her games, the two of them unexpectedly forming a solid friendship.

The only niggling problem now was Elaine. King and Diane had sent news that she was due to give birth any moment now and Meliodas was worried about how Ban would cope when he had a baby to deal with. The boy was only a toddler himself; how could be possibly help take care of a child?

As he came to the end of the story, Merlin sighed and looked at him with piercing eyes. "It's time," she said simply before slipping off the bed.

"Time for what?" Meliodas returned the little girl's smile, wondering what was on the cards for the day.

Without answering Merlin ran out of the room, her feet padding audibly on the wooden floor. Meliodas followed the sounds, just about managing to identify that the girl was headed for her lab. Ban and Zeldris were squabbling playfully on the bed, making a den out of the bed clothes as Elizabeth acted as referee, Estarossa occasionally reaching out to tickle one or other of the children as they momentarily presented themselves, before squealing and hiding back inside the covers.

"Here!" Merlin barked and Meliodas jumped slightly, unaware that she had come back into the room. "This is it," the mage added as she held out a beaker, a gloopy red mixture bubbling merrily inside.

Staring at the girl in confusion, Meliodas asked, "This is what?"

"The cure," Merlin said simply. At this all of the children stopped what they doing and looked sharply at the mage, this mouths dropping open slightly in their surprise.

"Ban, Elaine will give birth in three days," Merlin continued, her eyes now cast down to the floor as she lowered the beaker she was holding to her side. "You need to grow up so you can help her. And everyone else can take the potion now too."

"Merlin?" It was Estarossa who spoke, his voice sounding thin and Meliodas looked at him sharply, relieved to see no trace of pain in the young demon's features, only something akin to apprehension. "What are you saying..?"

"We all need to grow up." The mage spoke firmly, her lips pressed together though Meliodas could see her tremble slightly. "We… can't stay children forever…" Sensing his old friend's sadness Meliodas held out his arms, unsurprised when Merlin ran round the bed to throw herself into them to sob into his shoulder. As she did so, he managed to remove the beaker from her clammy hands, placing it carefully on the bedside table next to him.

"You are right," Meliodas murmured as the mage's sobs began to subside. "I know it will be hard, being an adult is difficult, responsibility is heavy and the anxiety it can bring is crippling. But we all have to grow, to change. And I think Arthur needs you," he coaxed, his heart melting slightly as he felt Merlin nod even as she clutched onto his shirt.

"How much is the dose?" Meliodas asked, noting the way Ban was reaching for the serum with clumsy hands. After confirmation from Merlin, he took the teaspoon from Elizabeth's tray and picked up the beaker next to him as the mage moved away.

Carefully pouring the viscous mixture into the spoon, Meliodas gestured for Ban to join him. The small boy scuttled across the bed, coming to a stop next to his side, his mouth open in preparation as Meliodas fed him the mixture.

All at once, Ban started to spasm, his body convulsing uncontrollably. Elizabeth quickly scurried off the bed dragging Zeldris with her, Estarossa instantly following suit. Before Meliodas could follow, the small boy suddenly glowed with a pale blue haze, his frame elongating before their eyes. With more than a little relief, Meliodas saw that Ban's clothes were growing with his body, covering all but the tensed muscles of his midriff as he gradually returned to his usual shape.

"Captain!" Ban yelled as his crimson eyes achieved focus, his canines showing as he grinned.

"Ban!" Meliodas shouted back, quickly extending his arm, the other grasping his hand with a hard grip.

"Ready~"

"Go!" Meliodas pushed against Ban's arm with all his might, the air around the two friends trembling as they struggled. Small amounts of dust began to fall from the ceiling and the various ornaments spread around the room rattled in their places as The Boar Hat shook.

"That's enough of that!" The two men stared up at the goddess who was looming over them, her hands on her hips and a disgruntled expression fixed to her face. "You two are not ruining my bedroom with your ridiculous antics. You want to arm wrestle you do it outside." At this Meliodas sheepishly disengaged his arm, Ban cackling as he did so.

"You quit. That round's mine!" the human crowed triumphantly.

"Step outside and say that," Meliodas said good-naturedly as he stood up and dusted himself off, belatedly thinking to check on the beaker. It was still mercifully intact, the contents within moving around in a way which did not suggest the mixture was particularly palatable.

"I will step outside but our rematch will have to wait. I'm going to see Elaine~" Ban said with a grin. "Later Cap'n," Ban called as he strode from the room, Meliodas shaking his head as the human thundered down the stairs.

He was still struggling to control the joy at seeing his best friend again when a wooden voice behind him intoned, "I will take the cure now." Meliodas whipped round to see Gowther had jumped down from the windowsill, and had stepped towards him, hand outstretched. Without a word, Meliodas picked up the spoon, handing it to the doll who measured himself out a dose, swallowing the mixture without ceremony.

His transformation was much less dramatic. The doll merely shook a little before growing, his face remaining the same as it rose towards the ceiling. The round glasses caught the light, obscuring Gowther's expression so Meliodas could not tell if he felt any pain. When the movements stopped his comrade merely saluted, two fingers tapping his head as he pulled himself into a familiar pose. With a nod to the assembled, Gowther teetered out of the room and Meliodas heard the doll heading up to the attic.

"Zeldris, would you like to go next?" Meliodas asked, ensuring his voice was gentle and kind. He knew his youngest brother had relished being a child, enjoying the chance to be free in a way he had never previously experienced. He half expected the demon to put up a fight but, to his surprise, Zeldris stepped forward eagerly, his eyes shining with excitement and his hands clenched into fists.

Meliodas was just on the point of placing the spoon into his youngest brother's mouth when Estarossa jumped forward, holding out an arm. "Stop!" the elder boy cried, his face a picture of consternation, "Zeldris, you don't want to do this!"

"Yes I do." The words were not angry, with no trace of defiance, surety ringing in the young demon's tone. "I want this more than anything," he added quietly as he turned to face Estarossa.

"Gelda is waiting for me, and has been for years," Zeldris said simply, his bottom lip wobbling slightly. "I don't want to keep her waiting any more. I love her, Rossa. I always have…" Meliodas blinked, somehow managing to hold back tears as Zeldris turned back towards him, his face shining. "Give me the cure," he commanded, a trace of his old self back in his mannerisms. Without another word, Meliodas gave Zeldris the spoon, allowing his youngest brother to make his choice.

Quick as a flash, Zeldris also grew, his childish features morphing into those of a proud demon prince, the dark eyes flashing as power washed round the room. The demon held out a hand experimentally, bright purple flames bursting over his fingers in an instant, only to be extinguished as Zeldris clenched his fist.

"Looks like your powers are back," Meliodas said cheerfully and Zeldris proffered a slight smile in return. The sunny demeanour of the boy was diminished, but not entirely gone, the man standing before him looking happier than he had ever seen his brother before. "She's between here and Liones," Meliodas confirmed. "Near to Vanya. You will sense her powers if you head in the direction of the city."

Without a word, Zeldris opened the diamond-patterned window, a summer breeze airing the room pleasantly as the glass swung inwards. Wings grew over his back, stretching slightly as Zeldris launched himself into the air, setting off to the west in the blazing sunshine.

Meliodas sighed, before turning back to his remaining brother who was shaking slightly. "Mel, I don't… I just don't…"

"I know," Meliodas said softly, stepping towards Estarossa and pulling him into a hug. "But it's time."

"I… I think I made progress," Estarossa said quietly, his gaze dropping to the floor. "I don't want that to stop…"

Meliodas pulled his brother closer towards him, digging his fingers slightly into the small demon's back. "It won't," he reassured as he held Estarossa tightly. "You won't have any power," he added softly, "you only did before because I left you with some. I didn't want… well, I didn't want you to be hurt, or to feel you were somehow inferior, but it was the wrong decision. You are a wonderful person without any darkness, and you will continue to grow even as an adult.

"And I'll be here for you this time, okay?" Meliodas insisted as he pulled back to look his brother directly in the eye. "This time I'm not going anywhere. We can do this together. Trust me, you can do this."

Several tense moments passed before, finally, Estarossa gave a small nod, his silver locks shaking with the movement. Meliodas returned to the bedside table, preparing the final spoon, using the last drop of mixture in the beaker. Merlin had clearly made her preparations carefully.

Just as with Zeldris, Estarossa grew, his body stretching slightly, until they were roughly the same height. Only this time, the countenance before him did not change much: the kindly eyes, which had glowed purple since the darkness had left his body stayed the same as the face around them filled out slightly. When it was all over, his brother looked up at him, biting his lip with nervousness.

"Your home will always be with us," Elizabeth reassured as she stepped towards Estarossa, linking an arm with his. "Come on, let's go and clean up downstairs. I dare say you all forgot to do that…" she added sardonically as she looked at Merlin, who had watched the proceedings with careful eyes.

After Estarossa and Elizabeth had left the room, Meliodas sat back on the bed, waiting until the mage joined him.

"I should change too," she said quietly, the regret evident in her tone. "I know I should. But…"

"I understand." Meliodas wrapped an arm around Merlin's shoulders, remembering how they would sit just like this after Elizabeth had rescued her from the shell of Berialluin. "You never had a childhood. You spent all your years caring for a sick father and then hiding from the Gods who destroyed your home.

"You were not to blame for that," Meliodas insisted as Merlin began to shake, her gasping sobs echoing through the room. "You were just a child, put in a horrible position. You were afraid and did not dare to say no, and then saw no way out when the Gods turned on you. You could not help being born with a power they both wanted and you could not have known what course of action they would take."

"I should have anticipated it," Merlin said between hiccups. "I should have…"

"You were a child," Meliodas insisted. "But no more lies, okay?" he added more sternly and Merlin nodded.

"Now, you change back," Meliodas said firmly as he pulled away from the mage. "Arthur is waiting for you in Camelot. He needs you to make it everything Berialluin should have been. And Escanor will be delighted to see you back as an adult," he added as an afterthought. "You really must stop playing him around, you know?" At this Merlin nodded, her hands scrunched up in her lap.

All at once she stood, her magic whipping the room as the girl became the woman once more, her purple gown billowing gently in the breeze. Not for the first time, Meliodas found himself marvelling at the strength of Merlin's magic and the amount of control she had.

"Now go talk to Escanor, and I don't want to see either of you again for the rest of the day," Meliodas said sternly.

Merlin grinned at him, her smile for once appearing genuine. "As you wish, Captain," she murmured before stepping slowly out of the room.

Gelda sighed as she looked out of the window at the grassy meadow and glorious blue sky which stretched before her. The cottage Meliodas had found for her was cozy, pleasant and afforded a wide vista of the wilds of Britannia. But it was lonely: her kin were all gone, swept away in just twenty-four hours and, for her own protection, Meliodas had kept her out of the way of the small number of humans who lived nearby.

So it was with a slight start that Gelda heard a knock at the door, but she managed to compose herself quickly. Although his visits were sadly rare Meliodas did check on her from time to time, bringing news of the land and, more importantly, his brother. When the letters had started coming, Gelda's heart had thumped uncomfortably in her chest, excitement flooding her until she took in the childish scrawl and understood what had happened. She had cried, bitter tears causing her vision to swim as she read and re-read Zeldris's missive, hope turning to despair as she realised that, even in this era of peace, the demon she loved was still beyond her reach.

But still she had forced herself to reply, making sure her tone was encouraging and cheerful. _Don't grow up too fast again, Zeldris, and don't grow up for me,_ she had written even as the tears spilled down her cheeks, the pain she felt in that moment piercing her soul. Still, Meliodas brought reports of his brother, telling her how happy Zeldris was as a child. Who was she to deny him that?

With a heavy heart Gelda rose, her silken gown falling about her gracefully as she moved towards the cottage door, for some reason finding she paused before turning the handle. The energy she felt… was that? But no, it could not be. With a sigh, a brief sensation of relief following the moment she expelled the air from her lungs, Gelda opened the door, making sure to plaster a cheerful smile on her face.

Green eyes met hers, soft, unsure, a flicker of concern to be seen in the depths and Gelda gasped, her mouth falling open as she drank in the vision before her. He looked the _same_ , even after all this time and all the pain they had both been through, his jet black hair moving gently in the breeze. But on examining him closer Gelda could see that his face was slightly different: he had always smiled with her of course, but now his expression was _kind_ , the arrogance and pride completely gone, along with the swirling mark which was an ever-present feature of his countenance. He looked nervous, his fingers pulling at the hem of his shirt and it was then that Gelda noticed the absence of a sword at his side.

"Zeldris!" she cried, forgetting all decorum and flinging her arms around his neck. He stiffened slightly in her grasp, before leaning into her, returning her embrace in an instant, his fingers digging slightly into her shoulder blades. "You came back," she whispered, pressing her face into his shoulder as her body was wracked with uncontrollable sobs.

"Of course. I promised you I would," Zeldris replied as he pulled Gelda closer into his arms.


End file.
